60 year old mom tells me same things over and over again

[Anonymous]

My mom is only 60. I live in a different state than her and we talk on the phone once a week or so. It seems like every time we talk, she retells something she told me on the phone the week before, or even multiple times before.

For example, my grandma recently passed away, and she has been telling me about something I will read at her memorial service that my grandma wrote. She told me this today, the last time we talked, and the time before that (at least!) Is this just normal?

[Anonymous]

My mom is late 60s but has been doing this for years. I think she just harps on things and it's more a personality thing than a senile thing in this case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is only 60. I live in a different state than her and we talk on the phone once a week or so. It seems like every time we talk, she retells something she told me on the phone the week before, or even multiple times before.

For example, my grandma recently passed away, and she has been telling me about something I will read at her memorial service that my grandma wrote. She told me this today, the last time we talked, and the time before that (at least!) Is this just normal?

Maybe normal... only thing you can do is, not to do the same with your kids.

[Anonymous]

Is this new or something she has always done? I ask because I'm a repeater and it's a bad habit I can't seem to break, so is my mom and my son- guess it runs in the family. However, we have a relative that never did this before who started doing it. Fast forward a year and she has early stages of Alzheimers - as much as they can accurately diagnosis such things. It might be worth checking out if it's new. The other thought is older people like to repeat a lot when they have limited social interaction. They are looking for things to keep you on the phone and interact with them even if it means repeating a story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this new or something she has always done? I ask because I'm a repeater and it's a bad habit I can't seem to break, so is my mom and my son- guess it runs in the family. However, we have a relative that never did this before who started doing it. Fast forward a year and she has early stages of Alzheimers - as much as they can accurately diagnosis such things. It might be worth checking out if it's new. The other thought is older people like to repeat a lot when they have limited social interaction. They are looking for things to keep you on the phone and interact with them even if it means repeating a story.

OP - I guess she's done this for awhile, but usually only a couple times. This particular detail sticks out in my mind because it's actually kind of a long story, not just a short side note. She told me my grandma took a writing class where they asked her to write about 5 stages of their lives, and at her memorial service we'll be reading her pieces. Every time my mom has repeated herself she doesn't just say "and you know you're reading this piece, right?" as a reminder, she starts over from the beginning as if I don't know that my grandma even took the class and what their assignment was.

[Anonymous]

Was it your mom's mom who passed away, OP? Losing your mom, no matter how old you are, can really throw you for a loop, so you're basically operating in a fog for a while.

[Anonymous]

This is 13:53 again. This may be more related to the story regarding her mom as 14:01 noted, then something wrong with her. If this is the only story she repeats like that, then yes this is about her mom and wanting to talk about her again and again. Not unusual after a death - and not unusual to not remember that you've already told that story.

[Anonymous]

My mom has always driven me crazy, and I do recall she used to do this much more, she would tell me the same thing over and over.

I started engaging with her more, told her that she told me that last week... etc... I think because when she spoke to me, there was just silence at the end of the line, she would retell the story over and over again.

[Anonymous]

My mother (71) does this -- and has done it for more than 10 years.

I think it's because she only talks to a few people on a regular basis - my dad, me, my sister, her cleaning lady, her hair dresser, her exercise class friend. All of us are separate, so she can tell the same story to each of us. That's at least 6 times before she gets to the neighbor across the street, her friend in Miami, my wife, etc.

I am sure she loses track of who has heard what. I would lose track, too. So I just interrupt gently and move the topic forward.

Next time she mentions grandma, just break in and say "Yeah, I'm really looking forward to reading her stories at the service. I'm thinking about wearing her black opera gloves, too -- do you think that would be too much?"

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, was totally there with my dad. It was so hard at times, and some stories were so long. He passed away a couple years ago. I'd give anything to hear him tell me the long story about how he prepares his breakfast. I remember telling myself to act like it was the first time I'd heard the story. She's not aware of it. Remind yourself to be patient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it your mom's mom who passed away, OP? Losing your mom, no matter how old you are, can really throw you for a loop, so you're basically operating in a fog for a while.

This us my thought as well. I was only 18 when my mom died. When it happened I spent a lot of time with my BFF. A couple of years later she told me how I basically spent that first week rambling and repeating myself.

I'd keep an eye on it, op, but if the loss is recent, you may want to consider that as part of the cause.

[Anonymous]

This was actually the first sign of a friend of my who developed Alzheimer's. She was a great storyteller, but every time she saw me, she would repeat the same set of stories. I was visiting her one time and a mutual friend called and asked if I was noticing this pattern during the visit. We agreed something was not right. Her family was in England, so we worked to get her to a doctor. It was a sad time for all of us.

Grief can be a part, but surely your mother would have other stories about her mother. Please keep an eye on this , OP.

[Anonymous]

When parents age, the first thing you think of should not be that they are being annoying - it's that they are getting old.

And you will too.