Have you ever cut off/been cut off from family due to religious beliefs?

[Anonymous]

My parents have developed what I'd call a Christian superiority complex. I don't know what else to call it but they turn every discussion toward Jesus Christ and his message and that only Christian nations have truly good people. They're pretty adamant in their stance on this stuff and I know they think less of me, their 40 year old daughter, for not jumping on the bandwagon with them. I think if it weren't for the grandchildren they'd have nothing to do with me. I've never seen people get so worked up over their beliefs. I believe based on things said that I've already been cut from their will based on my lack of willingness to fall in line.

[Anonymous]

I got a book from my younger brother - The Purpose Driven Life, or as my husband calls it "The Only Worthwhile Life". I just rolled my eyes. I even read part of it and pretty much stopped at the part where he claims that Noah had never seen rain before the flood, because irrigated the earth from underneath. Oh yeah, it makes it a problem. The only reason we are not completely cut off is that my father would not put up with it.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your parents aren't very Christian. Such judging is not Christian at all, and maybe you should point this out to them. It might take some work, but having NT phrases like "let him who is without sin cast the first stone" and the story of the Good Samatitan (the person from outside the tribe who was more compassionate than the so-called true beluevers) at your fingertips would probably do more to turn them around (well, maybe) then just walking away.

You don't have to believe yourself to quote this stuff back at them. But you might do a good deed in a secular sense to point this stuff out to them.

Signed, a Christian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your parents aren't very Christian. Such judging is not Christian at all, and maybe you should point this out to them. It might take some work, but having NT phrases like "let him who is without sin cast the first stone" and the story of the Good Samatitan (the person from outside the tribe who was more compassionate than the so-called true beluevers) at your fingertips would probably do more to turn them around (well, maybe) then just walking away.

You don't have to believe yourself to quote this stuff back at them. But you might do a good deed in a secular sense to point this stuff out to them.

Signed, a Christian

OP here. I've actually tried some of that. It just gets them angrier and their response is usually to personally attack me. And I don't even bother asking them what they've done to make the world a better place as in really volunteering, not listening to your friend talk about her thyroid issues and help her self diagnose. Asking them to collect gifts for poor kids just ruffles their feathers. They respond with a haughty, "we do many good things for people, you just don't know!" They feel that going to church, putting money in the collection basket, and following church rules covers everything.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. I'd bring up Christ's actual words every single time and let them get huffy. But maybe that's just me. It sounds like they won't cut off all contact because they want to see their grandchildren, which means you're stuck listening to them, but do you really want your kids to hear their grandparents like this? In fact, bring these things up IN FRONT of your kids and I'll bet they'll start sounding (slightly) more reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your parents aren't very Christian. Such judging is not Christian at all, and maybe you should point this out to them. It might take some work, but having NT phrases like "let him who is without sin cast the first stone" and the story of the Good Samatitan (the person from outside the tribe who was more compassionate than the so-called true beluevers) at your fingertips would probably do more to turn them around (well, maybe) then just walking away.

You don't have to believe yourself to quote this stuff back at them. But you might do a good deed in a secular sense to point this stuff out to them.

Signed, a Christian

with there being so many different denominations in Christianity, there's pretty much something for everyone. I've heard that in some places in the US, Catholics are not considered Christian -- when they actually preceded all the many Protestant denominations. (I'm not implying that the Catholics are better in any way, just that they are Christians and that they came centuries before today's protestants).

So - like people of all religions and no religion, your parents are just doing what seems right for them -- and in this case, calling it Christianity.

[Anonymous]

Not family, but I grew up devoutly Catholic and had a very close ("best" in kid language) friend who shared my beliefs. We were like sisters. When I became an atheist in college she couldn't take it and eventually dropped me. Her parents still live across the street from mine so we still see each other at holidays, etc, and we are facebook friends, but nothing beyond that. The thing that always got to me about losing her friendship is that she has a large and diverse group of friends, including other nonbelievers, but she took personal offense to my evolving beliefs. I think I'll always mourn the loss of that friendship, unfortunately.

Sometimes people are much less tolerant of differing beliefs in those closest to them than they are when the different beliefs belong to strangers or casual acquaintances. More threatened maybe?

[Anonymous]

I "dropped out" of Judaism as soon as i could get away from my parents. They are obsessed with being Jewish, discuss their Jewishness constantly and endlessly. My sister and her husband are also like this. I always found this to be embarrassing and also alienating. I didn't get the Jewish gene for some reason, never felt connected or interested. I have found a very warm and welcoming Christian church in which i feel at home. My parents don't understand this and my father, sister and bil have pretty much rejected me. It hurts! My mom comes to church with me sometimes, she enjoys it and it has in no way threatened her Jewishness. Weird story i know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your parents aren't very Christian. Such judging is not Christian at all, and maybe you should point this out to them. It might take some work, but having NT phrases like "let him who is without sin cast the first stone" and the story of the Good Samatitan (the person from outside the tribe who was more compassionate than the so-called true beluevers) at your fingertips would probably do more to turn them around (well, maybe) then just walking away.

You don't have to believe yourself to quote this stuff back at them. But you might do a good deed in a secular sense to point this stuff out to them.

Signed, a Christian

OP here. I've actually tried some of that. It just gets them angrier and their response is usually to personally attack me. And I don't even bother asking them what they've done to make the world a better place as in really volunteering, not listening to your friend talk about her thyroid issues and help her self diagnose. Asking them to collect gifts for poor kids just ruffles their feathers. They respond with a haughty, "we do many good things for people, you just don't know!" They feel that going to church, putting money in the collection basket, and following church rules covers everything.

Are your parents pharisees??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I "dropped out" of Judaism as soon as i could get away from my parents. They are obsessed with being Jewish, discuss their Jewishness constantly and endlessly. My sister and her husband are also like this. I always found this to be embarrassing and also alienating. I didn't get the Jewish gene for some reason, never felt connected or interested. I have found a very warm and welcoming Christian church in which i feel at home. My parents don't understand this and my father, sister and bil have pretty much rejected me. It hurts! My mom comes to church with me sometimes, she enjoys it and it has in no way threatened her Jewishness. Weird story i know.

OP here. This is what I experience with them. Their Christian pride has become a sort of nationalism. And yeah, it's embarrassing to listen to. Everything they say points to wishing they lived in a Christian theocracy.

[Anonymous]

OP maybe your parents take it personally that you have rejected "their" religion - they feel personally rejected? I the PP you quoted above. It is possible they are campaigning for you to come back to THEM. But it is coming out in a way that is pushing you further away. This is how i feel about my family, but i do have a really hard time with it. It only makes me feel MORE like an outsider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe your parents take it personally that you have rejected "their" religion - they feel personally rejected? I the PP you quoted above. It is possible they are campaigning for you to come back to THEM. But it is coming out in a way that is pushing you further away. This is how i feel about my family, but i do have a really hard time with it. It only makes me feel MORE like an outsider.

OP here. Yeah, they do tend to take a lot of things personally and sort of live life on the defensive. They've also developed, maybe from watching Fox, a persecution complex. Not that they live in North Korea or Mosul, but the believe Christians will be rounded up and killed. I'm on the verge of telling them that maybe they'll be lucky and Obama will throw them in a pit with the lions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe your parents take it personally that you have rejected "their" religion - they feel personally rejected? I the PP you quoted above. It is possible they are campaigning for you to come back to THEM. But it is coming out in a way that is pushing you further away. This is how i feel about my family, but i do have a really hard time with it. It only makes me feel MORE like an outsider.

OP here. Yeah, they do tend to take a lot of things personally and sort of live life on the defensive. They've also developed, maybe from watching Fox, a persecution complex. Not that they live in North Korea or Mosul, but the believe Christians will be rounded up and killed. I'm on the verge of telling them that maybe they'll be lucky and Obama will throw them in a pit with the lions.

Thanks for the laugh! But I know you'll restrain yourself...

[Anonymous]

Any kid of mine who becomes a Born Again is getting disowned.