Making friends in DC

[Anonymous]

This city is such a cold place. I moved here for work 4 months ago and haven't really made any friends. I mean, I'm friends with my work colleagues but those are superficial friendships. I work incredibly long hours and come home just exhausted, often at like 10:30-11 PM (I'm a lawyer). I have friends in DC from college/high school/law school but these are people I have either superficial connections with or who have just sort of faded out, so re-connecting with them feels like all the effort is on my end. And they're busy with their own lives and we find it hard to schedule regular evenings to hang out. And people here are just cold compared to Atlanta.

I'm envious of friends in my home state who have full, busy and exciting social lives. I wish I had that. I was very lonely during law school too and moving to DC is giving me flashbacks.

[Anonymous]

It took a long time, but I eventually made some wonderful friends. Part of it is the city, and part of it is your phase in life. You're no longer in a social environment where making friends is easy. You'll need to make even moe of an effort now. Go to a coffee shop and talk to people. Try something else that interests you, but really, it's like dating. You'll have to make the first move.

[Anonymous]

Try Meetup, it helped me a lot when I first moved to DC for work. And if your law school has alumni events in the city, go to those.

I actually had a much harder time making friends in law school. I have only one friend from law school, I think.

[Anonymous]

You're shocked by being surrounded by cold people after enduring law school?

[Anonymous]

Let me assure you that dc is not cold. People are dying to meet other people since everyone moves a lot. It sounds like your life is not set up to be social. Kickball or bocce is super fun if nit a little cheesy but it's great to meet ppl. If you can carve out the time during the week. And also, reach out l those people. If they don't or can't hang out they'll say so. You will have to put in the effort at the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This city is such a cold place. I moved here for work 4 months ago and haven't really made any friends. I mean, I'm friends with my work colleagues but those are superficial friendships. I work incredibly long hours and come home just exhausted, often at like 10:30-11 PM (I'm a lawyer). I have friends in DC from college/high school/law school but these are people I have either superficial connections with or who have just sort of faded out, so re-connecting with them feels like all the effort is on my end. And they're busy with their own lives and we find it hard to schedule regular evenings to hang out. And people here are just cold compared to Atlanta.

I'm envious of friends in my home state who have full, busy and exciting social lives. I wish I had that. I was very lonely during law school too and moving to DC is giving me flashbacks.

guessing you're in your late 20s/early 30s. are you looking for girlfriends to hang out and to do things with or are you kinda hoping that through friends you might find a relationship perhaps?

there are tons of things to do in DC - so whatever hobbies/interests, just find a class or a group (e.g., meetup.com is a start). if you like wine, go wine tasting a nice wine bar - plenty of places in DC and across the river in Arlington. you like hiking - hit the trails in RCP or Great Falls on the weekend. painting and cooking classes are offered every weekend. museums - so easy to strike up a conversation.

you work long hours and sounds like you might be a K st type but somewhat introverted - but if you finish at a more reasonable hour, why not grab a bite to eat in that area - tons of folks from the IMF/World Bank/OAS/etc. with fascinating stories and backgrounds that you might just find someone you click with. bottom line, just get out there, be open to meeting people and you'll be amazed and the kind of real people you'll meet. you need to create the business in your own life, it won't just magically happen.

[Anonymous]

I agree it is a cold place full of nasty people. But after a year I did meet some great people!!

And meetup has never worked for me or for anyone I know, so don't be discouraged if it doesn't work for you.

[Anonymous]

Do you live in an apartment building?
I met a great group of friends through my apartment building -- we have an awesome grill/patio area. With the warmer weather, I'll pop down with a beer and see who's out there. Strike up a conversation and meet people that way.

[Anonymous]

You don't have friends because your job is all-consuming...

[Anonymous]

Could you arrange a monthly office girls night out? It may help you get to know your coworkers a little better.

[Anonymous]

Maybe throw a party, at your place, or arrange a happy hour. Invite the coworker friends and the other people you know. That might get you more invites to stuff.

[Anonymous]

IF you want to do things, there are lots of people to hang out with.
If you want meaningful close friendships, I wish you good luck. Not being sarcastic, just telling you the reality of life in DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me assure you that dc is not cold. People are dying to meet other people since everyone moves a lot.

COMPLETELY AGREE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't have friends because your job is all-consuming...

So many people in this town work so many hours it makes their hourly wage lower than mine. But I guess it allows them to have nicer apartments...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me assure you that dc is not cold. People are dying to meet other people since everyone moves a lot.

COMPLETELY AGREE.

I agree, but if think this is more true if you are in your twenties (don't know how old op is).

As you get into your thirties and people are getting married and having kids, if you are not married and don't have kids I think it can be pretty difficult to make friends.