bar mitzvah in Israel instead of at home synagogue

[Anonymous]

Has anyone chosen to have the child bar mitzvahed in Israel instead of at the local synagogue? What was it like, and any regrets of not doing the tradional service and party at the synagogue? We are a shy family and just don't feel up for the kind of party most throw, even if it is a low key one. On the other hand, a family trip with the congregation and celebrating in Israel seems like a once in a lifetime event.

[Anonymous]

We are just back from a non-bar mitzvah trip to Israel where we met several families who did this. They seemed thrilled and very happy with their choices. The whole experience of being there is so magical that we are considering it for our child, too.

Not sure what you mean about "family trip with the congregation," though. Is your congregation taking a trip to Israel, which could include your son's bar mitzvah? If you like your congregation, this could be a really nice option, though you'll be on the group's schedule, not yours.

[Anonymous]

I had a bat mitzvah in Israel and one here. I did not have the big Sat. night party, but a luncheon in a restaurant (here). There was a regular bat mitzvah service at the synagogue, however. My Israeli bat mitzvah was on Masada (realize I have no idea if I've spelled that correctly!).

We did a family tour and I do not recall if every family had a child becoming bar or bat mitzvah. It was the first major trip my family had taken, and I think we all found it meaningful. My recollection is that I wasn't having a big party like my brother...and that the trip was in lieu of that. I don't recall whose decision that was!

I chanted a torah portion and I'm sure did other parts of the service. I remember studying for both.

[Anonymous]

I had a Bat Mitzvah at the wall where I read a portion of the torah. I also come from a small who fairly quiet and while we like to entertain we don't like to do large scale parties. We had a small luncheon for family and friends back home. We spent 2 weeks touring Israel. My family was in the mindset that they rather spend the amount on a fun memorable vacation then spending the same amount on a one day party. And as a kid I had been to so many bar/bat mitzvahs that my friends had that I definitely preferred a trip.

[Anonymous]

My friend is planning this next year for her daughter. In her opinion, the over-the-top parties have become too much of a focus for something that's supposed to be a religious event. She has invited extended family to join them on the trip (about ten people) but it looks like just the four grandparents will be going.

[Anonymous]

Instead of going to all the trouble and expense of having it in Israel, have you considered just setting up a green screen background at your local synagogue? Then tape the ceremony and the videographer can insert Israel into the green screen background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of going to all the trouble and expense of having it in Israel, have you considered just setting up a green screen background at your local synagogue? Then tape the ceremony and the videographer can insert Israel into the green screen background.

I can't tell if this is supposed to be funny or what. Try again, PP.

[Anonymous]

It was semi-serious.

Let's face it, taking lavish trips to Israel for sammy's bar mitzvah is yet simply another escalation of ostentatious and unnecessary financial consumption surrounding bar mitzvah as a status symbol. This kind of totally egocentric display of wealth is obviously the antithesis of what a bar mitvah should be all about. but I'm sure I'm talking to a wall here, eh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was semi-serious.

Let's face it, taking lavish trips to Israel for sammy's bar mitzvah is yet simply another escalation of ostentatious and unnecessary financial consumption surrounding bar mitzvah as a status symbol. This kind of totally egocentric display of wealth is obviously the antithesis of what a bar mitvah should be all about. but I'm sure I'm talking to a wall here, eh.

Are you Jewish? Do you understand the religious significance of taking a trip to Israel for the ceremony that makes you an adult in your religion's eyes? I am thinking you're not grasping it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was semi-serious.

Let's face it, taking lavish trips to Israel for sammy's bar mitzvah is yet simply another escalation of ostentatious and unnecessary financial consumption surrounding bar mitzvah as a status symbol. This kind of totally egocentric display of wealth is obviously the antithesis of what a bar mitvah should be all about. but I'm sure I'm talking to a wall here, eh.

Are you Jewish? Do you understand the religious significance of taking a trip to Israel for the ceremony that makes you an adult in your religion's eyes? I am thinking you're not grasping it.

I agree with the PP. How is an expensive trip to Israel any better than a lavish party? Then again, it sounds like fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was semi-serious.

Let's face it, taking lavish trips to Israel for sammy's bar mitzvah is yet simply another escalation of ostentatious and unnecessary financial consumption surrounding bar mitzvah as a status symbol. This kind of totally egocentric display of wealth is obviously the antithesis of what a bar mitvah should be all about. but I'm sure I'm talking to a wall here, eh.

Are you Jewish? Do you understand the religious significance of taking a trip to Israel for the ceremony that makes you an adult in your religion's eyes? I am thinking you're not grasping it.

But it is still spending an obscene amount of money. It if was all about the religious significance, why the lavish MTV super sweet 16 style parties that rival wedding receptions AFTER the religious ceremony?

[Anonymous]

YES! Do it! Far more meaningful than a big expensive party. Our doctor's did it for their kids when they each turned 12 and those kids talk about it to this day.

[Anonymous]

YES! Do it! Far more meaningful than a big expensive party. Our doctor's did it for their kids when they each turned 12 and those kids talk about it to this day.

[Anonymous]

Just don't expect anyone to come along unless you are paying. No guilt tripping your siblings into attending etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was semi-serious.

Let's face it, taking lavish trips to Israel for sammy's bar mitzvah is yet simply another escalation of ostentatious and unnecessary financial consumption surrounding bar mitzvah as a status symbol. This kind of totally egocentric display of wealth is obviously the antithesis of what a bar mitvah should be all about. but I'm sure I'm talking to a wall here, eh.

Are you Jewish? Do you understand the religious significance of taking a trip to Israel for the ceremony that makes you an adult in your religion's eyes? I am thinking you're not grasping it.

I agree with the PP. How is an expensive trip to Israel any better than a lavish party? Then again, it sounds like fun!

Welcome to the new era of destination bar mitzvahs!