Should someone in a serious relationship independently have friends of the opposite sex?

[Anonymous]

Assuming they have been trustworthy when it comes to fidelity. If so, how much disclosure is appropriate?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the question. I have male friends; my husband has female friends. What kind of disclosure do you mean?

[Anonymous]

What's going on, OP?

[Anonymous]

It depends. Did they predate your relationship? Are they office based? Are they part of the same D&D group (a circle of hell to avoid at all costs)?

In other words, what do you detect that would raise an eyebrow? Are they new? Do they over-share?

[Anonymous]

I found out he has a friend from a previous job that he talks to from time to time, about their industry apparently. I don't know her. He gave me the number said I could talk to her if I was concerned. I believe him. It just made me nervous that I had never heard of this person until I happened to notice a missed call.

[Anonymous]

deal with your insecurity. if it's b/c you've been cheated on the past (which sucks) have a frank talk with him about your fear. but you need to manage and control it b/c this isn't healthy.

[Anonymous]

I have been cheated on. Thanks for your response. I realize I might be overly sensitive, so that's why I'm trying to ask others to weigh whether my fears are unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

They don't *have* to have friends of the opposite sex, but I would find it odd if someone I was seeing had absolutely no friends of the opposite sex. I'd also be worried that they would find it weird that I do have lots of friends (JUST friends) of the opposite sex.

I am comfortable with men on a non-sexual level, have lots of male friends, and don't cheat. I think someone who is worried about cheating might be someone who has trouble being comfortable with the opposite sex on a non-sexual level and they project that onto others

[Anonymous]

(OP, if he's never mentioned this person before, it means she's not in his life to a large degree. Wouldn't be concerned at all.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the question. I have male friends; my husband has female friends. What kind of disclosure do you mean?

This. I have more male friends than dh has female. We would never lie to each other. I.e. if I'm meeting my friend Nick for a drink after work I'd never lie and say I was meeting a female friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found out he has a friend from a previous job that he talks to from time to time, about their industry apparently. I don't know her. He gave me the number said I could talk to her if I was concerned. I believe him. It just made me nervous that I had never heard of this person until I happened to notice a missed call.

This would not be a big deal at all for either DH or me. I would deal with your insecurities though.

[Anonymous]

predating the marriage or office based only.

and none who are better looking than the spouse being left at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assuming they have been trustworthy when it comes to fidelity. If so, how much disclosure is appropriate?

What a strange question. Are you 22?