If your 4yo does not attend preschool/pre-K

[Anonymous]

We are considering making some big life changes which would require me to pull my 3yo (almost 4yo) out of his full-time preschool. I worry about supplementing the socialization and skills that he's getting from preschool (he's been in a daycare/preschool setting since infancy). I also have a baby and would need to meet the needs of the baby as well, so my time can't be 100% with him, making up for what he's not getting in preschool.

Are there activities in the area, groups to join, classes to take so that he wouldn't be missing out too much? I'd love to hear some ideas.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming your changes are financial? I ask because it's going to be really hard for your DS to adjust to being at home, especially with you and a baby who needs your attention. Is there anyway you can do part time preschool?

[Anonymous]

I did something similar with my 4 yo last year and found it pretty lonely in DC. We weren't really able to do many afternoon play dates, but if we had been there are more opportunities for socialization with kids in traditional preschool/daycare. Most of the classes and programs I found were also in the late afternoon, again, since most kids are in preK during the mornings. There is a "homeschool" community that might work for you and your preschooler:
http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/DCAreaPreschoolHomeschoolers/info

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Look for homeschool groups in your area. They have group activities and can be a resource.

[Anonymous]

My 4 yr old doesn't go to school but she never has, so she's used to quiet days at home with occasional outtings. I think what you're thinking of doing sounds REALLY difficult, OP.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the responses. Not what I expected. The change would be financial (quitting my job), so I could no longer afford full time preschool. I'm not feeling confident about finding a part time preschool that has openings mid-year, plus I don't know if changing schools would be the best thing for him. That's a big change and a big adjustment. I question if that would be a good move??

[Anonymous]

My 4 yr old hasn't gone to preschool but is a very active social child so we have to keep her busy.

I think there will be a transition period but your child will be fine. You will get to spend quite a bit more time with your DS and that is a great replacement for some of the time he spends with peers. Kids like what they know. If they go to preschool they like it, if they don't go they like being home. Enjoy the time you will have with him.

You will just need to build activities and socializing into your schedule and routine.

[Anonymous]

I'm 14:35.

Having a 4 yo at home is not the norm in this area, but it doesn't mean it can't work for you and your family. I wished my DC and I had found more of a community, but I don't regret the decision to stay home with him at all. There is a TON to do in DC with your child -- zoo, museums, Rock Creek park, story times (albeit with younger kids), etc. It was just hard for us to find that social piece.

Where are you located? There might be more part-time preschool opportunities than you think, if you'd like to consider that option.

[Anonymous]

I think it could work. There are fairly low priced options at the community centers for either classes or part-time preschool. There are also church-based preschools that are affordable. We spent $240/month for a 4 morning preschool at a local church for our dd.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I'd say keep preK going FT or PT if you can. Kids LOVE structure. All the moms who are saying how happy their kids are with them FT 7 days/week everyday may be right but I'm going to tell you as a mom that has tried both ways - my 4 yr old LOVES LOVES school now in FT preK (he started at age 3). I was bored out of my mind with him at home too! You have weekends and if you did do PT, you still have a lot of free time with your kid to do whatever you want. But it'll be great for them to get that time in socializing prior to K. And no, you don't "need" socializing before K but trust me, it does not hurt and off the record, it does benefit (how can it not - think about it) the child being around other children their age playing during the day. You'd be looking for an environment like that anyway so why not just keep him in some structured care? I started because of baby #2 - and it made a big difference for all of us in the most positive way. I truly think that parents want what they want (not you per se) a lot of times. I see safe wooden toys for example that all parents just love. You know what the kids think of a lot of them? Boring as hell! Who wants to play with a toy that is solid wood that doesn't do a damn thing? I use this story to illustrate that while some people "think" their kids may be better off with them 100% until K - you really have to look at it from a kid perspective too. They don't want to hang out with you - they want to hang out and play the hell out of their day! I wish you good luck - I know it's not easy. My point in responding to you is that if you have not totally made up your mind to take him out of school, reconsider PT. Other than that, activity wise, you will just need to look daily for schedules in your community and online (try ourkids) for weekly activities. You'll need to pull a bit from everywhere but definitely you can find enough to occupy every day. It's just that it'll be hard with 2 kids and I'm a mom that did childcare FT and not at all and I'm going to tell you the former is a really good thing

[Anonymous]

Can you wait to quit your job next year when he's in K? If he's used to going to preschool, I think he'd have a really tough time adjusting to sitting at home all day with you and the baby. It's fine for some kids who never have gone to school, but even then I tend to think at 4 that most kids need preschool to get them ready for K and beyond. It sounds like you'd be doing a disservice pulling him out now, but since kindergarten is free, you might consider working until next year when you wouldn't have to worry about paying for his preschool.

Don't know your financial situation or what the impetus for this decision is and other ramifications it might have. But if this is your big consideration, I would do what I could to leave him in preschool at age 4.

[Anonymous]

I assume OP you are planning to quit once your new baby arrives and stay home with the kids. Lots of moms do that and their kids are perfectly happy and healthy.

Don't let anyone tell you that not sending your child to preschool will make them a socially awkward misfit who will struggle in kindergarten. That isn't true.

You can still ensure your kids socialize without preschool. You will need to find activities and programs and kids for him to play with but you will also get to be part of his growth and development in a way you couldn't before. Kids really benefit form watching and learning from adults as their role models. The reality is that same age peers aren't great role models or teachers as they are at similar developmental stages. You spending more time with your child is not detrimental to his well-being.

[Anonymous]

I am so surprised at all of these people saying to keep the kid in daycare. I bet your son would love to spend some time at home with you and the baby. You can think of some classes or outings to keep you all happy. And perhaps special time playing trains while the baby sleeps. I think he will be fine. I mean do SAHM's send their 4 year olds to FT school? We can't even homeschool a 4 year old for preschool now? Really?

[Anonymous]

OP where do you live? I suspect there are more part time preschool options- particularly co-op ones - available than you think. People are still shuffling around.

[maril332]

public school?