Do you think raising kids in the NYC area is the best place to do so in the US?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband grew up in Manhattan and got out as quickly as he could (boarding school in NE and then college). We met in NYC when we were both working there and he was adamant that he was not raising kids in NY.

This could be a generational thing but DH and all of his nyc friends have terrible relationships with their parents. Everyone is a bit whacko. After awhile the city just gets to you. Cold. Jaded. Detached from how 90% of the rest of America lives.

My niece is being raised in Park Slope and my brother and SIL have really dug their heals in, deciding it’s the ideal place to be. Even as their friends pick up and leave for more space and fresh air in upstate NY, PA etc.

I may be like your brother and SIL but we're raising 2 kids in Park Slope and it literally feels like we're raising them on Sesame Street. We couldn't be happier. I can picture a different sort of ideal in many other places, but, for us, whatever might be gained upstate or elsewhere would be offset by what would feel like more profound losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably one of the worst places. Grew up in the city and left as soon as I could after college. So did most of my friends. It’s not a place for kids to grow up, it’s a place to have fun and make good money. Nobody moves to NYC because they are looking for the best environment for their children, they do it because it’s exciting for themselves. There’s nothing awesome about growing up in a cramped apartment and having to fend for yourself. You grow up way too quick in the city and you’re exposed to things you really shouldn’t be. I vowed to not put my kids through that misery, they’re growing up in a 5,000 sq ft house with a giant backyard, a neighborhood pool and tennis court, excellent neighborhood schools (the schools in the city suck unless you’re getting into a specialized or Hunter or one of the performing arts schools), riding bikes, going fishing on the lake, etc. It’s how kids are meant to grow up. They visit grandma and grandpa every summer to get their “city fun” and my parents take them to Central Park and do the whole tourist thing but then they come home and have a chance to be kids again.

Grew up on the UWS and my spouse in Brooklyn and could have written this.

Unfortunately however we don’t visit my parents because after we moved to California they stopped talking to us much. To them there is no place outside of NYC and they never got over us finally leaving. There’s a certain NY snobbery I cannot stand - no other place in the country is worth living in

[Anonymous]

We are raising our kids in NYC. It's fine. I don't know if it's the best place to raise kids, but I don't think there is any "best" place. Every place has its pros and cons.

I'm curious as to when the last two PP/spouses were raised in NYC. My guess is the 70s and 80s and into the 90s, when it was admittedly not so nice here. Most parents didn't want to raise their kids in NYC at the time bc of the crime, schools, etc. IMHO the parents who raised their kids in NYC at the time were weird as PP mentioned. It is a generational thing.

IME More "normal" parents are raising their kids in the city now. Some people think it's still very dangerous, but it isn't, even during the pandemic. Our pre-pandemic weekends were like anyone else's anywhere else - sports, birthday parties, Sunday school. We've been lucky with schools.

[Anonymous]

My family was in NYC and then moved out to the suburbs when I was really little.

I married someone from Virginia and there are huge differences in what we were exposed to when it comes to nationalities, languages, food, the arts, and more.

IF money was no object, I'd love to raise a kid the same way - early years in the city, then a move to a close-in suburb.

[Anonymous]

I do not think it is a good place to raise kids. Young kids need to be out in nature, running around freely, not carted up and down stairs and sitting in the subway all day long. They need to be around animals and grow stuff in gardens and a quiet street to mess about with their friends on bikes and scooters. Museums, symphonies, diversity etc. is all great but you can get that in a much smaller city where they can live in a world that is not a playground for adults.

Older kids do not need the self-consciousness and snobbery that comes along with city life. The kids I know from the city grew up way to fast and were a little hardened before they were even 18. That can happen in a way in any large city that becomes a temple -- rich SF kids tend to have issues around creativity and spirituality in a way that NY kids have issues around money, sex, and drugs. I feel like it's best to come to NYC as a young adult and leave shortly thereafter, maybe come back when you're retiring.

[Anonymous]

I mean it depends on whether you think the ideal childhood is urban or rural or suburban. Many people believe that raising kids with more open space and freedom to explore and make mistakes is ideal, so would not think a high density city with such competitive people would be ideal.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a difference between NYC and NYC SUBURBS. I grew up in Brooklyn and would never, in a million years, raise a family there today. Nor anywhere else in NYC proper. Public schools are becoming meh and the cost of living is high. I would, however, consider raising a family in a NYC suburb with excellent public schools (Westchester, Nassau County, close-in NJ).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not think it is a good place to raise kids. Young kids need to be out in nature, running around freely, not carted up and down stairs and sitting in the subway all day long. They need to be around animals and grow stuff in gardens and a quiet street to mess about with their friends on bikes and scooters. Museums, symphonies, diversity etc. is all great but you can get that in a much smaller city where they can live in a world that is not a playground for adults.

Older kids do not need the self-consciousness and snobbery that comes along with city life. The kids I know from the city grew up way to fast and were a little hardened before they were even 18. That can happen in a way in any large city that becomes a temple -- rich SF kids tend to have issues around creativity and spirituality in a way that NY kids have issues around money, sex, and drugs. I feel like it's best to come to NYC as a young adult and leave shortly thereafter, maybe come back when you're retiring.

We moved from NYC to North London when my children were small and this is my favorite thing about living here. We’re technically in London (and a 15 minute walk from the tube) but we live in a house with a garden right near a huge park with trails and a zoo, where kids ride their bikes and explore and have picnics and it’s really wonderful. We’re also 15-20 minutes from central London. Obviously not anyone can just pick up and move to London but it’s got my vote for the best place to raise kids.

[Anonymous]

We absolutely love it. We’re in Larchmont. It’s expensive but we have everything we want - gorgeous parks, beach, a walkable downtown with fantastic bakeries, restaurants, and services (there’s a large French expat community so we have lots of French bakeries and restaurants), and great schools. The thing I love is how walkable it is. We walk to the beach club, the tennis courts, the library, restaurants/coffee, the train, the kids walk to the pool and the skating rink, but we still have a good-sized home. And it’s 38 minutes from the city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean it depends on whether you think the ideal childhood is urban or rural or suburban. Many people believe that raising kids with more open space and freedom to explore and make mistakes is ideal, so would not think a high density city with such competitive people would be ideal.

I am on the opposite side. I grew up in a city and am raising my kids in an apartment in Brooklyn. I don’t claim it’s the best, but definitely best for our family. Of course, COVID is a big bummer, but I still have no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Um, no. Why on earth would I think that? And I grew up near NY.

[Anonymous]

Oh god no. I am NYC born and raised and maybe it's better now but we were all smoking, drinking, having sex etc in high school.

We were like a bunch of thirty year olds! I went to my first bar in NINTH grade on the UES, and no I did not even need a fake ID.

My friends and I were so jaded. College was a bit of a letdown. I remember my roommate being so excited to drink and smoke for the first time, and I was totally over it.

Almost all my friends who grew up in NYC have left and raise their kids elsewhere now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh god no. I am NYC born and raised and maybe it's better now but we were all smoking, drinking, having sex etc in high school.

We were like a bunch of thirty year olds! I went to my first bar in NINTH grade on the UES, and no I did not even need a fake ID.

My friends and I were so jaded. College was a bit of a letdown. I remember my roommate being so excited to drink and smoke for the first time, and I was totally over it.

Almost all my friends who grew up in NYC have left and raise their kids elsewhere now.

LOL it's because your friends can't afford it. NYC is an amazing place to grow up if you have the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. Nowhere on the east coast.

I've lived elsewhere and would never NOT want to live on the east coast.

+10000

Nowhere else compares. It's also the most civilized place to live, in the US at least

+10000 I grew up a military brat and the East Coast is by far my favorite place.

Not military, but similar background and completely agree - except for NYC. I’d never want to raise my kids in the city. Really, almost any city. I love our yard, neighborhood and huge state parks in our town.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in CA and loved it. I kind of lament that my kids won't have the same CA childhood experience. Outdoor activities year round - skiing, beach, forest, desert.