How do you respond to comments about your pre-teen?

[Anonymous]

So obvi this will be controversial but, if your kid REALLY good looking, what do you say when ppl comment on it? Yes, I realize how this sounds but the reality remains. How do you respond to people who tell you how good looking they think your kid is? I feel pretty uncomfortable and feel a strong obligation to compliment their kid in kind, and do, but i feel weird. How do you handle this?

[Anonymous]

Thanks, she takes after me.

[Anonymous]

Thank you? What is hard about this? Don't say anything about their kids if you don't think it, just be genuine with people!

[Anonymous]

"Thank you." What else are you going to say?

[Anonymous]

Overthinking!!!!

[Anonymous]

People tell me all the time how "gorgeous" my girls are and how "handsome" my boys are. They'll say it in person, post comments on pictures on facebook,..... You get the idea.

It means nothing. People say that to be nice. I think my kids are very attractive, but I know that even if they were butt ugly, people would tell me how beautiful they are because that's what people do.

Just say "thanks" and don't make it more than it is. People are just being nice.

[Anonymous]

OP, exact what PPs are saying. People have been commenting on my DD's eyes since she was a year or so old. DD says thank you or we do if she is not within earshot. FWIW, the single best way I find to make connections with folks is to compliment their children. Really about the easiest thing one can do to build good will.

[Anonymous]

Ha. people used to look at my DD and say convent! She has outgrown it however.

[Anonymous]

I was at a party and the tween daughter of the hostess came into the room. Way too much makeup, push-up bra, too-short shorts. Two of the men actually exchanged a look and left the room.

When she left, all anyone could say was how "beautiful" she is. And she is, but in an entirely age-inappropriate way. What we wanted to say was, "are you seriously going to let her outside looking like that???"

[Anonymous]

Any time I am presented with a picture of a friend's child, I respond that the child is beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Um, I smile and say thank you, and then move the conversation along.

[Anonymous]

It may be that OP's child is unusually attractive. I read all the comments similarly to when a parent asks how to handle the questions about an unusually bright child. No one believes your perception is correct and everyone thinks their child is equally attractive/smart.

Say thank you and do not force an immediate compliment but look tor the opportunity to give a genuine one.

[Anonymous]

I say thank you. It's not a big deal but I do get annoyed when people gush over her, want to touch her, play with her hair, say she should be a model etc. She's not a doll (and she's only six).

I would much rather they asked her about school, what books she's reading, future careers. I don't want her to think that appearance is what matters most in this world. It's not the message we send her at home but the outside world seems to think otherwise.

[Anonymous]

"Thank you".

[Anonymous]

One of my DD's is stunningly gorgeous. She just is. She was adopted as an infant and we do not know much about her birth family. She has received compliments her whole life, and she has learned to graciously smile and say "thank you" and move the conversation along.