Beach Week and Curfews

[Anonymous]

Just wondering if kids who go on Beach Week after graduation typically have curfews during senior year. My friend's daughter had a 12 o'clock curfew this year, yet she is currently spending the week in VB with her friends. My daughter's only a freshman, so I'm just sort of looking ahead. When she is a senior, I expect to have a curfew for her, but it seems odd to go from that straight to a week of pure unsupervised hedonism.

[Anonymous]

That's what college is. She's gone in a few weeks. Time to face reality.

[Anonymous]

That's what college is. She's gone in a few weeks. Time to face reality.

[Anonymous]

How would you enforce a curfew? Is there a chaperone?
I don't know what beach week is like now, but I went to OC my junior and senior year. Everyone was basically drunk the entire time.

[Anonymous]

I think some of it is about respect for the others in the home. I had a curfew all through high school and even in college when I came home from breaks and summer.

No, I didn't have (or follow) the same curfew when I was away at college, but coming in late didn't wake my parents and I wasn't driving their car.

My DD is only 13 now, but when our HS and college age nieces come to visit (often w/o parents) or spend time in the city there are "house rules" that include curfews, I imagine it will be the same for our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's what college is. She's gone in a few weeks. Time to face reality.

This comment is a bit flippant, but it is true to some extent. I have two kids in college and a rising HS senior. We had specific curfews for them in HS that our friends thought was lenient during senior year and a "respect the house" standard now that they are in college. They do pretty well with it. We wanted to give them a taste of freedom at home to prepare them for the unlimited freedom of college. We all know people who were sheltered and coddled at home, went to college, and became overwhlemed with all the freedom and responsibility. We wanted to avoid that and so we gave them a fair amount of freedom as long as they were responsible.

The two older ones each went to Beach Week with their three closest friends - all pretty responsible and all headed to college as student athletes shortly after the trip. None of them are/were drinkers. OP, I understand that you want to get a handle on things early. But trust me - you will have hundreds of discussions about curfew, responsibility and freedom before Beach Week is even a thought in her mind. It makes sense to have an idea of how you want to handle it, but you will not know for sure until things play out a little bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's what college is. She's gone in a few weeks. Time to face reality.

Yes, obviously they're off to college in a few months. I just assumed that most seniors still had curfews, presumably right up to graduation. I was wondering if people whose kids still have curfews, allow their kids to go to beach week, or if it's basically the ones who haven't had curfew for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what college is. She's gone in a few weeks. Time to face reality.

Yes, obviously they're off to college in a few months. I just assumed that most seniors still had curfews, presumably right up to graduation. I was wondering if people whose kids still have curfews, allow their kids to go to beach week, or if it's basically the ones who haven't had curfew for awhile.

Most of my friends go to beach week and take a group of kids, so there is some parental supervision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what college is. She's gone in a few weeks. Time to face reality.

Yes, obviously they're off to college in a few months. I just assumed that most seniors still had curfews, presumably right up to graduation. I was wondering if people whose kids still have curfews, allow their kids to go to beach week, or if it's basically the ones who haven't had curfew for awhile.

I think you are making a false distinction, it's not such a bright line. Beach week is a no curfew time you may or may not feel comfortablE allowing your child to go for a whole host if reasons, but the reality is they are on their own in a few short weeks. Btw I do agree with house rules includinG curfew when at home visiting, really no matter what age!

[Anonymous]

The point of curfews is about driving and respecting the needs of your parents. Neither is a factor during beach week. Curfews don't prevent drinking or sex - kids can do that before midnight too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point of curfews is about driving and respecting the needs of your parents. Neither is a factor during beach week. Curfews don't prevent drinking or sex - kids can do that before midnight too.

What does a curfew have to do with respecting the needs of parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point of curfews is about driving and respecting the needs of your parents. Neither is a factor during beach week. Curfews don't prevent drinking or sex - kids can do that before midnight too.

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Curfew ensures the family gets to bed at reasonable hour without worrying about child not home yet.

[Anonymous]

So if I interpret your post OP you are asking if only the kids of bad parents go and the kids of good parents don't? At our school plenty of good kids go. My DD chose not to go but I'm sure my DS will want to go. He has an 11:30 curfew.

[Anonymous]

Last year we let our senior go to the beach for the weekend with a bunch of other kids. They stayed at the house of one of the parents, so there was some minimal degree of supervision. In general I found that last summer before college that it was necessary to loosen up the curfew rules. DS was working, driving, and coming home well after midnight multiple times/week. It was hard to trust him at first, but it got easier when we saw he was doing okay. Now that he's been at college for a year we basically have the "respect the house" rule, meaning that he needs to call or text us when he plans to say out later than midnight.