7-yo spitting - wwyd?
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Anonymous
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a kid on DS tball team has recently started constantly spitting on and off the field whenever wherever like nobody's business. several kids on the team thought it's funny/cool and copied him, including DS, and i made it clear to DS he's not to that. the other day at practice i've seen enough, so i call that kid over and said he needed to stop doing that coz it's rude (really wanted to say disgusting). yet moments later i saw him spitting again in front of his dad and his mom was a few steps away. they must have saw that but didn't seem to mind (or did anything). i felt bad to have corrected their son directly earlier instead of bringing it up to his parents.
on our way home i told DS again spitting is not allowed. but i'm just puzzled as i've known this family long enough to assume spitting would not OK with them. am i overreacting? is there any medical condition that makes spitting ok that i'm not aware of? sigh. |
Anonymous
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I think you may be overreacting. It seems to me that spitting at age 7 is no big deal, especially when playing sports. On the field, it shouldn't be a problem. If he is doing in excessively in the dugout, then the coach should say something. The kid will grow out of it quickly and move on to other bodily functions.
As an adult, I still spit. I may be mowing the lawn and get dust in my mouth so I need to spit. The same thing when I run. Sometimes when I'm taking a piss, I spit in the urinal (lots of men do). I spit watermelon seeds and even have a distance spitting contest with the kids. Relax. |
Anonymous
| I believe that I can't correct other children in that kind of setting. I can only correct my child, and expect my child to obey me. Of course the coach could say it's not allowed. |
Anonymous
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tks.
so i can ask the coach to intervene? the kid is excessively doing it - on and off the field. i can't imagine any parent would be ok with this, not as bad as cursing of course, but to me it's just as unacceptable whether on the field - bad sportsmanship, or off the field - bad manners. |
Anonymous
No. If he is doing it excessively, the coach knows about it and if the coach thought it was a problem, the coach would have dealt with it. And, obviously some parents are OK with it given that the spitter's parents know about it and don't feel compelled to correct it. |
Anonymous
| Ugh. So with you OP. However, perhaps it is a male thing? My husband spits a lot too. We walked the dog yesterday and I swear every five steps my husband is hacking up a big ball of phlegm and spitting it out. I wanted to scream. He does this all the time in the spring and summer months. He has horrible allergies and is constantly blowing his nose, spitting, clearing his throat, etc. Makes me want to scream sometimes, but he isn't doing it to be gross on purpose or anything. |
Anonymous
that's bull. what's ok with coach is not necessary ok with all the parents. parenting doesn't stop just because another adult is in charge of DS for an hour, not at this age anyway. |
Anonymous
You are missing the point. The coach and parents are both there seeing the same spitting that OP is. If the coach had a problem from a coaching point of view, he would say/do something. If the parents had a problem they would say/do something. Neither feel this needs to be addressed (at least in public). Given that OP is just there as a teammate's mom she has no authority when both the parents and coach are present. If the child spit around or near me I would certainly ask him not to and tel him I thought it was gross but beyond that it isn't OPs place to deal with the spitting. |
Anonymous
ok... i guess you're right. tks for the post. |
Anonymous
| While I mostly agree that it's not OP's job to police the spitting, I allso think coaches are not going to see everything going on on the field and in the dugout. I think you could approach the coach with a not very judgmental attitutude and say something like . . . "I don't know if you're aware, but several of the boys have started spitting a lot during the games and I wonder what you think this is about. I know many MBL players chew tobacco and spit a lot and I wonder if they are immitating them? Obviously, I don't want to make a big deal about an occassional spit, but I also don't wan't all the players to get in the habit of spitting in the dugout at such a young age. Please keep an eye out for what I'm talking about and let me know what you think." |
Anonymous
| You asked about a medical condition....could it be a tic? Some kids have involuntary tics (my son shrugs his shoulders, and he does it more frequently when he's playing sports for some reason.) I've heard of spitting as a tic. If it is, then the child really can't stop doing it, even when asked. |
Anonymous
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Along the same lines as medical condition....when I was in college I coached swim team during the summer. There was one boy who every summer (ages 6-9) who if he didn't spit, would have drool dripping down his chin. Obviously, this became a concern that he was salivating so much and I was worried he would inhale some of his spit while swimming and start coughing/drinking in pool water. When I approached his parents, they explained that when he was anxious or nervous, he salivated more than normal and no matter how many times he swallowed, it was never enough, which is why he spit.
OP, tell your son it is not ok and you don't want him doing it. If the other kid spits in your direction, tell him not to do that. But honestly, it isn't your place to parent someone else. |