AAP 3rd grade Math : do you teach/help your DC?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes what parents think of as helping or teaching their children really amounts to giving them the answers to their homework. Kids become dependent on help from parents or tutors and never learn how to do their own work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sometimes what parents think of as helping or teaching their children really amounts to giving them the answers to their homework. Kids become dependent on help from parents or tutors and never learn how to do their own work.

So true.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes what parents think of as helping or teaching their children really amounts to giving them the answers to their homework. Kids become dependent on help from parents or tutors and never learn how to do their own work.

This argument does not prevent me as a parent from mentoring and teaching my children. I have far too much life experience and deep expertise to deprive them of this and leave it to teachers and tutors alone. Do not get me wrong. Teachers and tutors play a role but parents can have a far greater role.

"Thanks for clearing that up for me. Your patient explanations and clear diagrams made all the difference. Why do some of my teachers make a simple concept so difficult? " Comments like this from my children through the years convince me of my role as a parent in their education.

Unfortunately, some parents and teachers equate this responsibility to giving your children the answers to homework. They fail to recognize this priceless home education has absolutely nothing to do with their sometimes "mindless" homework and assignments!

[Anonymous]

OP --- I was in your shoes a year ago. My DD was really struggling with 3rd grade Adv. Math. For the entire first quarter, she'd come home and seem to have NO understanding whatsoever about the homework. I taught her EVERY night. I was getting frustrated and DD was getting frustrated. Finally, I emailed the math teacher and she called me back and we had a long chat. She said she'd keep an eye on DD at school and I decided (or we agreed) that DD would put "I don't know how to do this" on her homework rather than me teaching the subject every night. I tried to back off and to encourage DD to ask the teacher for help (DD was very uncomfortable doing that, but I wanted to put the responsiblity on her).

I also had a conference with the math teacher and the regular teacher where I questioned if DD was appropriately placed in Adv. Math. They both insisted that her test scores put her in the class and "it was not a close case." So, they wanted to keep her in the class.

At any rate, it wasn't a perfect solution, but on the whole, it improved. There were still times that I helped after seeing that DD was stuck or off-track. But, I tried to back off during the 2nd/3rd/4th quarters and put the responsibility back on the teacher and the student.

DD got a "3" each quarter for achievement, so even if she wasn't acing the tests, she was hanging in there.

Fast forward to this year... SOOOO much better. Not sure if it is b/c she has a different teacher or if 4th grade Adv. Math doesn't involve "new" concepts yet. But, DD's homework is shorter (fewere questions) and she gets it done in a short amount of time. I check it to make sure she is on track, but it's been WAY, WAY easier on both of us compared to last year first quarter.

So.... my advice is (1) talk to the teacher, (2) keep checking on your child and helping *a little*, but if DC doesn't understand any of it have her write "I don't understand this" on the paper, and (3) be patient -- 3rd grade math (decimals and multiple digit multiplication) is completely new to the kids. There is hope!

I can't tell you how many times I heard "I HATE MATH!" with paper and pencil being thrown last year. This year -- not at all. Thank goodness!

[Anonymous]

I am glad you found a solution for your child. This is great and the end game.

In the case of my 3 children, we did not go through what you have had to go through. I never spoke with their math teachers (busy and traveling), but taught my children math through high school levels and even managed, at the encouragement of other parents, to coach elementary and middle school math olympiaid (AMC 8, 10 and 12) once a week for 6 years (like club soccer team coaching)while my kids were in primary school. I did not consult any math teachers when I took the task of teaching my own kids (and others) math. I drew from my own experiences and the kids just keep coming back and coming back ... just like our soccer team. Their performance in and out of school suggests they were not confused by outside teaching.

No harm. No foul. And a lot of high AMC, mathcount, and AP math exam scorers!

There is nothing wrong with consulting your school teachers about outside teaching you plan to do with your children.

I was comfortable with my experiences and knowledge and moved nimbly without outside bureaucratic interference in my home educational life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am glad you found a solution for your child. This is great and the end game.

In the case of my 3 children, we did not go through what you have had to go through. I never spoke with their math teachers (busy and traveling), but taught my children math through high school levels and even managed, at the encouragement of other parents, to coach elementary and middle school math olympiaid (AMC 8, 10 and 12) once a week for 6 years (like club soccer team coaching)while my kids were in primary school. I did not consult any math teachers when I took the task of teaching my own kids (and others) math. I drew from my own experiences and the kids just keep coming back and coming back ... just like our soccer team. Their performance in and out of school suggests they were not confused by outside teaching.

No harm. No foul. And a lot of high AMC, mathcount, and AP math exam scorers!

There is nothing wrong with consulting your school teachers about outside teaching you plan to do with your children.

I was comfortable with my experiences and knowledge and moved nimbly without outside bureaucratic interference in my home educational life.

You sound like a maverick. I prefer the "it takes a village" attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sometimes what parents think of as helping or teaching their children really amounts to giving them the answers to their homework. Kids become dependent on help from parents or tutors and never learn how to do their own work.

This argument does not prevent me as a parent from mentoring and teaching my children. I have far too much life experience and deep expertise to deprive them of this and leave it to teachers and tutors alone. Do not get me wrong. Teachers and tutors play a role but parents can have a far greater role.

"Thanks for clearing that up for me. Your patient explanations and clear diagrams made all the difference. Why do some of my teachers make a simple concept so difficult? " Comments like this from my children through the years convince me of my role as a parent in their education.

Unfortunately, some parents and teachers equate this responsibility to giving your children the answers to homework. They fail to recognize this priceless home education has absolutely nothing to do with their sometimes "mindless" homework and assignments!

Your kids really said that? Freely and of their own accord? I'm impressed with their English, although they do sound a tad formal.

[Anonymous]

I know precisely what you are saying. In our neighborhood, some parents have run a book club for 3 years for a small group of kids in the moving in same grade in the local elementary school. During the first year, these kids read all the Harry Potter books and met twice a month for discussions and pizza.

We did not feel the need to consult any schoolteachers about the wisdom and appropriateness of such a venture. The parents liked it. The kids liked it. There was no need for outside overdight by school teachers! The kids are not confused by this. I agree with Math parent. There are educated parents in our communities (in churches and synagogues) who do not need pre-approval and oversight from public school teachers about outside math or reading coaching and teaching.

Political correctness gone absurd.

[Anonymous]

"You sound like a maverick. I prefer the "it takes a village" attitude."

It's called the art of parenting. We have not bought into the baby sitting and outside tutor concept. We do believe in all in the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know precisely what you are saying. In our neighborhood, some parents have run a book club for 3 years for a small group of kids in the moving in same grade in the local elementary school. During the first year, these kids read all the Harry Potter books and met twice a month for discussions and pizza.

We did not feel the need to consult any schoolteachers about the wisdom and appropriateness of such a venture. The parents liked it. The kids liked it. There was no need for outside overdight by school teachers! The kids are not confused by this. I agree with Math parent. There are educated parents in our communities (in churches and synagogues) who do not need pre-approval and oversight from public school teachers about outside math or reading coaching and teaching.

Political correctness gone absurd.

I think a book club is very different to teaching your kid math. I don't understand the fear of consulting with the teacher and tapping into their knowledge and skills. It's not about political correctness. It's about making sure all the kid's teachers/coaches are on the same page when it comes to curriculum and techniques. What's with this 'them and us' attitude?! The teacher wants to work with the kid and with the parents. Why are some parents so against that? Do you think the teacher has some hidden agenda??

[Anonymous]

Your kids really said that? Freely and of their own accord? I'm impressed with their English, although they do sound a tad formal.

Yes they did. I'll spare you what other children and their parents have said over the years. This is not rocket science.

[Anonymous]

I think a book club is very different to teaching your kid math. I don't understand the fear of consulting with the teacher and tapping into their knowledge and skills. It's not about political correctness. It's about making sure all the kid's teachers/coaches are on the same page when it comes to curriculum and techniques. What's with this 'them and us' attitude?! The teacher wants to work with the kid and with the parents. Why are some parents so against that? Do you think the teacher has some hidden agenda??

Why?

Is Math Club more acceptable to you?

What do you think goes on in Math Club or a Book Club?

Do I need a teacher to work with my Math Club or Reading Club?

[Anonymous]

There is no fear about consulting a teacher. For some parents such consultation a purely a waste of time with nothing to be gained. Why do you think the outside Math, Reading or Science Clubs were started in the first place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think a book club is very different to teaching your kid math. I don't understand the fear of consulting with the teacher and tapping into their knowledge and skills. It's not about political correctness. It's about making sure all the kid's teachers/coaches are on the same page when it comes to curriculum and techniques. What's with this 'them and us' attitude?! The teacher wants to work with the kid and with the parents. Why are some parents so against that? Do you think the teacher has some hidden agenda??

Why?

Is Math Club more acceptable to you?

What do you think goes on in Math Club or a Book Club?

Do I need a teacher to work with my Math Club or Reading Club?

I said a book club is different because it is a club. Same with math club (which is more about problem solving). The discussion here is about teaching your kid the curriculum ... so a club is not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no fear about consulting a teacher. For some parents such consultation a purely a waste of time with nothing to be gained. Why do you think the outside Math, Reading or Science Clubs were started in the first place?

Do you know that because you tried discussing things with the teachers? Or did you just make an assumption?