The pet peeve I have about having houseguests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get you completely.

But several years ago, I just started being honest. I told family guests that I really need an hour or so to drink coffee, go through work, and collect myself in the morning.

I felt odd doing it, but it was perfectly fine. They said OK and there have been no problems since then. I don't know what they might think to themselves, but I get my me-time and don't have resentment.

I will say this depends a bit on what time we are talking and for how long. I tend to get up around 6:30-7:30, grab coffee, spend 30-60 minutes by myself and am ready for the day. If you're showing up at 9:00 and don't want to interact with anyone until 11:00, that is a bit different...

Not only was it perfectly fine but I’m betting the guests appreciated you for saying this.

As a frequent host and houseguest myself, with many different people, I have learned that communication about these seemingly minor issues makes all the difference. Just because you are close friends or relatives does not mean that you have comparable schedules

[Anonymous]

Honestly guests need to stay in bed until 8am. Read on your phones or sleep.

[Anonymous]

Are these people family? Can’t you be direct? We always knew growing up and still which parent was a morning person and which one you didn’t speak to for the first hour.

We are direct people and could say don’t talk to Susie before 10 until she’s fully awake, had coffee and she lets you know.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. My FIL wants to hug the minute we see each other in the kitchen in the morning. I hate it. I do not need to hug a morning greeting.

[Anonymous]

I recently had a houseguest with the opposite problem: she slept in until 9-10 a.m. every day even when we had pre-planned activities that needed an earlier start.

I keep a small basket in the guest room with items a guest may forget (toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, nail kit, lotion, etc.) and told her to help herself if she needed something or forgot anything.

She took all of it home with her.

[Anonymous]

Beta blockers

[Anonymous]

Nothing is worse than an anxious, hovering, stifling-ly solicitous host. EASE UP. AT EASE. You create a tense atmosphere and we can tell you feel stressed out, overwhelmed, and want us gone. No problem, we’ll be in a hotel from now on. Your hovering and constant observations, offers and questions have driven us out, no problem.

[Anonymous]

Have a coffee machine in your office? Your bedroom or bathroom. Anywhere but the kitchen. I guess there is no way to let them know what you prefer though I'm sure they would honor it and completely understand.

When I'm a guest and I hear the host, I assume I'm being kind by getting up .. that way they don't have to work to be quiet. And then, I would probably talk a lot (oops)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were a houseguest, and I was awake, I would feel rude if I ignored the host when I came downstairs. If you’re close enough that they’re staying over, can you laugh and say “I need my morning coffee before I’m a real person, I’ll be in talking mode in 20 minutes”

My neighbors have a coffee pot and small fridge in their bedroom so they can have coffee in bed. Maybe an option for OO.

I’ve thought about putting one in the guest room - ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently had a houseguest with the opposite problem: she slept in until 9-10 a.m. every day even when we had pre-planned activities that needed an earlier start.

I keep a small basket in the guest room with items a guest may forget (toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, nail kit, lotion, etc.) and told her to help herself if she needed something or forgot anything.

She took all of it home with her.

That takes the cake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly guests need to stay in bed until 8am. Read on your phones or sleep.

I see your point, but for some people 7 is sleeping in. At some point you just want to be out of bed—sleeping elsewhere is never as good or as comfortable as home. If someone is visiting the west coast from the east coast, 8 am is like 11 am for them. Zero chance I’m loafing around half the day. That said, I’m not the kind of guest who’d be up in your business first thing either. I’d be out the door going for a walk or to Starbucks for my own coffee in solitude.

[Anonymous]

Just something to look forward to when holidays are over.

[Anonymous]

The older I get the worse it gets. I've stopped inviting overnight guests. It works for me!

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe your houseguests think they have a right to speak to you.