How much is too much scheduling for a young 3 yo with mild AS?

[Anonymous]

In your opinions, is it too much to schedule a birthday party in the morning and a playdate in the afternoon for our ds with AS? I am trying to "beef up the playdates" as instructed by our developmental pediatrician, but I also don't want to exhaust our son. Would this be too much for a neurotypical kid? He's our first so I have no idea about scheduling.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Too much. Too much for any child that age. Is this child still napping? He should be -- I don't mean to sound pushy or know-it-all but I can't see a child this age making it through two separate social events in one day without a meltdown, regardless of special needs.

[Anonymous]

Yes, one thing per day is plenty.

There is a ton of info on facilliatating playdates online, you want to do it when the kiddo is rested and they are most likely to go well. Bday parties can be really overstimulating. With my child we experimented - sometimes we got there very early so she could adjust with a minimum of hubbub, other times we'd get there later and stay for a shorter time. Find what works best for your child, AS or no.

[Anonymous]

The party is going to be the difficult part. And it could really overstimulate and stress him out. You want to set him up for success for these playdates, so i agree with the others.

[Anonymous]

OP. here. Thank you all so much for your responses. Here's my issue - our son doesn't nap anymore when we're home, but will nap for our nanny. So, by Sunday afternoon he's a wreck! He actually did phenomenally well today at the party b/c my husband took him. When I take him he acts totally different and misbehaves a lot more. What's that about? Anyone else experience that?

[Anonymous]

"our son doesn't nap anymore when we're home, but will nap for our nanny"...by sunday afternoon, he's a wreck.

Very, very common!

[Anonymous]

OP, again. What should I do if he doesn't nap and is a total wreck by Sunday afternoon. He acts so exhausted, but so wild, too. It's really difficult. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, again. What should I do if he doesn't nap and is a total wreck by Sunday afternoon. He acts so exhausted, but so wild, too. It's really difficult. Thanks!

I'd plan any playdates for the morning then. Also 90 min should be the max. Go out on a good note, that's the part kids remember.

Will he nap in the car or the stroller? If so, I'd go that route on Sundays. Also, try to get him down earlier, before he is revved up out of exhaustion.

Can the nanny do any playdates? Is he in a school program?

[Anonymous]

OP, again. Yes, the nanny can do playdates, but I think moms don't want to have playdates with my nanny, ya know? He is at school 5 mornings per week, but most of the kids there stay all day. Some of them don't, but they're all girls which is fine b/c I often find the girl playdates to be better, but their moms want to hang out with me which I can't do when I'm working.

Any good advice on facilitating?

Thanks!!

[Anonymous]

OP - not sure what AS is but it sounds like you already know what you need to do to help make playdates work. Plan them for saturday or sunday morning because that is when you child is most likely to be successful. When he is older and afternoons are easier - you can start doing afternoon playdates instead.

Tricks I use if we have afternoon events -
(1) quiet time for about 90 minutes after lunch. quiet free play allowed.
(2) no tv ever (except for b-days, xmas, or really sick)
(3) afternoon baths before going to a second activity - it can work as a reset button.

[Anonymous]

I think in this case, AS may stand for Asperger's Syndrome

Not OP, but love the idea of the soothing afternoon bath PP.