How to get rid of the "gimmes" or the "Can I haves?"

[Anonymous]

I posted this in the main forum, but since this forum is for Older kids and teenagers, I thought I'd add it here also..


My DD will be six in one week. She suffers from a terrible case of the "gimmes" and I want to know how to Stop this behavior.

We just had Chanukah..gave her one big present the first night and some small items on some of the other nights. Now, her birthday is approaching. We will have a party so of course, more gifts.

She got ahold of the "Toys R Us" catalog that came in our mail and has been running to her father, me, her grandmother, and her uncle requesting every Barbie item made.

We have repeatedly told her that she can have a gift for birthday and Chanukah, but not everything. We also tell her that Grandma isn't made of money and is o a limited income and doesn't have the cash to buy her everything.

I also purchase gifts for Toys For Tots with her and we drop them at the fire station. She has been told that others are not as fortunate.

Her whining and constant focus on "Toy Toys Toys" is very upsetting to me. She is an only(and lucky) child, but I need to stop these requests and this whining.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I don't want a very materialistic child and the constant whining is driving me up the wall. I have made her sit in her room when she whines about wanting thing. WHat do others do about the "gimmes?"

[Anonymous]

This time of year my children become possessed by greed- for food, toys and excitement. Normally they have no real interest in TV- but the toy ads are like crack to them. You really have to give them an alternative activity or they just become greedy monsters.

[Anonymous]

At age six, your daughter is old enough to get an allowance. Receiving an allowance goes a long way toward stopping the gimmes. If she asks for something, you can then say, "Well, you can use your own money for that."

[Anonymous]

I agree with both of the PPs. This time of the year promotes the gimmes to the point where you almost can't stand to be around your kids at times. OP, I know this won't help you, but I always tell my kids that they can tell Santa if they want it. It actually makes it a bit easier when they say "I'm going to tell Santa I want that Barbie" than to hear "I want that Barbie". Maybe it's because they know Santa isn't getting them everything. FWIW, as my kids got older, the gimmes went away and there is nothing I can think of that I did to make that happen.

As for things beyond Santa, allowance has been the answer in our house.

One other thing that I think happens as they get older is that they have to get others gifts so it's not all about them. It changes the perspective.

[Anonymous]

My son is eight and around this time of year the "gimmes" rears its ugly head. The allowance certainly helps. As does clearing out toys together that are no longer played with/outgrown and donating them.

[Anonymous]

From just about the time they could talk, our kids have asked for things. When they do, we tell them we'll put it on "the list". Toys they see on commercials, the Toys R Us Catalog, Target, etc., whatever they ask for goes on "the list". That's always satisfied them (the oldest is 9). The grandparents do the same thing with them. The kids feel free to express what they want but we never get hounded. The funny thing is that there is no list!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At age six, your daughter is old enough to get an allowance. Receiving an allowance goes a long way toward stopping the gimmes. If she asks for something, you can then say, "Well, you can use your own money for that."

Agree. Allowance is wonderful - b/c it teaches them to save, delay gratification, etc.

Even if I were loaded I would force my kids to delay gratification on receiving too much "stuff" - it ruins them.