Filthy house in Deep Creek

[Anonymous]

I have a friend here in DC that is a hoarder. She has not cleaned her house since she moved in 10 years ago. It’s disgusting.

Her dog died 5 years ago and there is still dog hair on the furniture and the house smells.

She bought a “cottage” in Deep Creek during the pandemic. And that too is gross. If you can’t clean one house, how can you clean two?

I went once during the pandemic and then last summer and the house was gross.

She keeps asking “so when are we going to Deep Creek?”. I don’t want to go…

[Anonymous]

Just keep deflecting that you’re busy.

[Anonymous]

whole lot of personally identifying information here.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you’ll have to worry long, this thread will get back to her and you won’t be invited or likely spoken to again.

[Anonymous]

Get a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you'll help her clean it.

[Anonymous]

Tell her gross

[Anonymous]

Tell her, COMPASSIONATELY, that the two of you have different cleanliness standards and so you don't think sharing living accommodations would work well for your friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her, COMPASSIONATELY, that the two of you have different cleanliness standards and so you don't think sharing living accommodations would work well for your friendship.

I agree. She needs to hear it.

[Anonymous]

Did you offer help when you were there? If not, say nothing/deflect.

If you offered help/broached this previously, I would be honest with her again and just let her know it's stressful for you to be in an environment like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you'll help her clean it.

This is what an actual friend would do. You sound like a rotten csnt, OP.

[Anonymous]

I think PPs are underestimating the hoarder personality. My mom isn't a hoarder, but she has hoarder tendencies. When she moved into her current house, she had a friend who came over and helped her paint and direct her as to where to arrange things, But my mom didn't do it, because, idk, she's wired differently.

[Anonymous]

LOL. Why are you friends with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think PPs are underestimating the hoarder personality. My mom isn't a hoarder, but she has hoarder tendencies. When she moved into her current house, she had a friend who came over and helped her paint and direct her as to where to arrange things, But my mom didn't do it, because, idk, she's wired differently.

Same. Parents with mental health issues is hard. I’ve been fighting my hoarding parent for decades. Nothing changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend here in DC that is a hoarder. She has not cleaned her house since she moved in 10 years ago. It’s disgusting.

Her dog died 5 years ago and there is still dog hair on the furniture and the house smells.

She bought a “cottage” in Deep Creek during the pandemic. And that too is gross. If you can’t clean one house, how can you clean two?

I went once during the pandemic and then last summer and the house was gross.

She keeps asking “so when are we going to Deep Creek?”. I don’t want to go…

Tell her that you love her but not her housekeeping skills so its better to meet outside.