How do I support my crazy pregnant sister?

[Anonymous]

My little sister (4yrs younger) is my best friend. She is is 38 weeks pregnant and is going absolutely insane. She flipped out because someone bought her polyester socks and those weren't on the registry. Someone gave her some used clothes and she tossed everything that was neutral colors as well as anything with snaps. She thinks she isn't going to use diapers at all because she is going to do elimination communication. She even bought "chaps" for baby so they can begin potty training right after birth. Someone bought her the hatch sound machine and is so worried about the EMFS that she has decided to not use it. She has even started to read anti-vaccine parenting books.

I try so hard to just nod my had and smile but it is getting so bad, it is to the point I don't even know how to support her because everything I do or say is wrong. I offer to door dash a meal and she says no because she is eating certain food for her uterus, and doesn't want take out. I offer to buy some sleepers for baby, but she only wants these $50 organic sleepers, so I can only buy one. She will ask me to come over and help, but I am so scared of saying or suggesting the wrong things, it is like walking on eggshells.

[Anonymous]

easy. zip it with suggestions. Ask her how you can help and do exactly what she asked. Or if you can't do it for financial or other reasons, decline gracefully and in good humor. Your post is so judgy and uppity to be honest. I wouldn't want a busybody like you splattering her suggestions over my last week of pregnancy.

It's natural to feel some anxiety - for expectant mother and people around her. It's a major life transition that can change people in fundamental ways. Don't add toxicity to the mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:easy. zip it with suggestions. Ask her how you can help and do exactly what she asked. Or if you can't do it for financial or other reasons, decline gracefully and in good humor. Your post is so judgy and uppity to be honest. I wouldn't want a busybody like you splattering her suggestions over my last week of pregnancy.

It's natural to feel some anxiety - for expectant mother and people around her. It's a major life transition that can change people in fundamental ways. Don't add toxicity to the mix.

OP’s sister is judgy and uppity not OP. But I get it OP, clearly her first kiddo, she’s anxious and OCD to the max. Wait till sleep deprivation sets in with those chaps (wtf?) and elimination method. Let me know if that method works and I will be impressed! I’ll laugh at how silly I was to use diapers. I went through a glass bottle, all organic clothes period as well so I can empathize that yeah a crap ton of chemicals and endocrine disrupting exposure happens. It can be a scary first time bc you want to do everything right.

[Anonymous]

38 weeks? This is normal. Don't expect hormones to settle for like another three months.


Don't get involved. Nod politely and treat her like a 38 weeks irrational pregnant lady who will eventually get over it but it will take some time.

[Anonymous]

Keep us updated on the no diaper thing OP, I’m going to love this one. Make sure she knows how damaging to the environment cleaning and sterilizing all the soiled clothes, sheets, and whatever else the baby poops and pees on is. She’s bound to make lots of other mommy friends with her naked chap-wearing baby (do you know how many onesies you go through with a newborn in a given day wearing diapers) because she only has five onesies, organic cotton what a joke.

[Anonymous]

You just wait OP and watch parenthood show her whose boss lol

[Anonymous]

I kind of feel like the baby crapping all over her house and carefully color-coordinated clothes will take care of some of this. Just let it happen.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a troll. Which brand are 50$ organic sleepers, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a troll. Which brand are 50$ organic sleepers, OP?

Definitely not a troll. It was $45 and I think the brand was Bonsi or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Is she normally…normal?

[Anonymous]

Wel--i am a former nanny and actually did EC (elimination communication) with some of the kids, but waited until 6 mos old or so--when they could reasonably sit up on a potty chair. It really works great and we saved a ton of diapers with some of the kids. About 20 min after a meal and right after sleep you pop them on the potty chair or toilet with insert and they go. I'm not sure I'd try it with a newborn though, but hey, if she can make it happen, more power to her.

[Anonymous]

Former nanny here--doing EC make potty training MUCH easier later on because they know what the toilet is and aren't afraid of it.

[Anonymous]

OP, just give her some space and tell her you are there when she needs you.

I don’t have any idea how you should tackle the shower thing. Are there other relatives/friends who can help with this? It’s harder to be rude to a group than one person that you’re very comfortable with.

Let reality set in. She’ll settle down once it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former nanny here--doing EC make potty training MUCH easier later on because they know what the toilet is and aren't afraid of it.

This is also easily accomplished by not always closing the door when you need to pee and little ones are around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she normally…normal?

She has always been a healthy eater, but not obsessive about it. Would be fine to go grab ice cream, or take out.