Is it "normal" for my girls to have no interest competitive sports?

[Anonymous]

I'm a parent of two wonderful girls, aged 11 and 9. They are both smart, active, and creative but have no interest in competitive sports, unlike many of their peers.

Both girls take recreational gymnastics, county tennis lessons, and piano. They enjoy these but aren't in love with any of them. I'd say the 11yo is most interested in piano while the 9yo would be happy staying home playing with Legos or drawing all day. They also enjoy swimming but refuse to join the neighborhood swim team.

Growing up in the 90s, the pressure to join travel teams or excel at sports didn't exist. Personally, I didn't start playing field hockey and volleyball until 7th grade, and I continued with them through high school. However, in today's environment and especially in the DMV, it seems like all their friends are on multiple competitive teams throughout the year.

I believe it's important for children to find activities they enjoy and that contribute positively to their physical and emotional well-being. Yet, I can't shake off the worry that my girls might be missing out on something by not participating in the more competitive sports like their friends. I also worry that if they don't find their 'thing' now, they won't have an opportunity to try it later on.

Are there others out there whose kids are less interested in competitive sports? Have you tried pushing them or just let them do what they are into? Thanks for reading.

[Anonymous]

Reminds me of my sister and I. We both hated competitive sports and excelled in the arts, music, dance. As far as physical activity, I loved dance and she like outdoor hiking and later on, martial arts. I always wished there had been more non-sport physical activity options in school for the non-sporty kids. The only sport I mildly got into was track, bc it didn't involve chasing a ball which for some reason, I never found fun like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 18 and 13 and were never interested in competitive sports. One of them is extremely driven and competitive elsewhere, the other is totally a-competitive.

My kids (son and daughter) have both done ballet, swimming, rock climbing, gym, tumbling/trampoline, yoga and horseback riding.

I never pushed for anything, but since we're a classical music family, they both did many years of their chosen musical instrument/choir/orchestra, and one of them is on the competitive circuit for her instrument.

[Anonymous]

OP my children's elementary school had 700 students.

Less than a 1/4 do competitive sports.

You are generalizing.

No your kids don't have to.

[Anonymous]

Assuming you live in the DC area and are higher SES like most DCUMers, I think one of the things about this area is that if you're in a bubble and reading a lot of DCUM you lose sight of what is actually normal. Your kids sounds like they do MORE sports and have MORE interests and access to explore them than average.

And I say this as at the parent of a high schooler who is on a fancy schmancy travel team. By far, even in DC, most kids are not doing this in high school.

Are they busy? Happy? Good.

[Anonymous]

I wished for an athletic kid, like me, but got a kid who loved drama club and creative writing. I think you hear about the athletic kids more, because their parents are busy taking them to and fro. Unless the child is really athletically driven, I think it’s silly to put all that money and time into it, but each to their own.

What is important is to raise kids who are mentally healthy with a balance of time in different pursuits. Follow their lead. They are developing their personalities on their own.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal for your kids not to be overly interested in those things.

Also, totally normal for your kids to find their passions in their later teens. And much better for them to find them on their own than be pushed into them.

Forget the hype. Go read the college pages where everyone starts to realize they wasted their time worrying about that stuff.

Enjoy your girls. I bet they have awesome personalities.

[Anonymous]

Very normal. It's ok. They have interests! They get exercise! That's all they need.

[Anonymous]

What a strange question. Of course not all children are going to be interested in sports. People have a lot of different interests.

[Anonymous]

Are you really asking if your kids are normal for not liking competitive sports?
What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Pretty typical for girls. Boys are, on average, much more into competitive sports, but even with them it is not unusual to find non-sportsy boys.

[Anonymous]

A lot of other kids aren't interested either but their parents make them do it. As long as they are happy, I wouldn't worry.

[Anonymous]

What? Of course it’s “normal” for girls AND boys to not be interested in competitive sports. There are plenty of interests out there. Please do not pressure your girls to fit some mold you have in mind.

[Anonymous]

My 8 year old girl has no interest in any of sports. I grew up in a different country and was never involved in any competitive sport. I don't care if all her friends are doing something with sports or not. My daughter is very smart ( academically wise). I don't pressure my daughter into anything. Truly, a lot of parents just push too hard for their kids to participate in something. Then everybody is stressed out and everybody complaints how busy the life is. Well- my answer is- simplify your life by not participating in one thousand activities ( be it sports, or other events)!

[Anonymous]

I expected my kids to choose something to commit to and work hard at, but there's so much more than competitive team sports. Robotics, debate, music, theater, individual sports like rock climbing, etc.