Chores for kids
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| I always see people say kids should do chores. My kids do a couple things here and there when I ask, but dh and I do the bulk of the housework. As a kid I was the same as my kids, just helped a little here and there. I'm a really tidy, responsible adult with zero cleaning/yard/home help of any kind so I don't feel like it's harmed me or made me less responsible. |
Anonymous
This is a relief to read -- I periodically feel some guilt for not having established more regular chores for my six year old. To your point, I did have chores as a kid, and left to my own devices I am still a total slob. |
Anonymous
|
Kids don't have chores, but we have expectations
1. trash is taken out/brought back in each week 2. Put all plates/cups in dishwasher immediately (not in the sink) 3. If the dishwasher is clean, empty it 4. Keep rooms relatively clean 5. Clean up after yourselves 6. We may ask for assistance with specific tasks (yard work, etc) and there should be no grumbling/arguing. We will give you notice so you can plan accordingly. It is all part of living in our house/keeping our home running smoothly and clean. |
Anonymous
|
On a personal level my children contribute around the house because we all live here and use the space together, eat food, etc. I do not personally get great joy out of cleaning after them so everyone is expected to pitch in.
That said, if you love cleaning and it brings you joy, I think it is fine to lean in on that. |
Anonymous
|
I tried getting my kids to do chores when they were younger and it didn't work.
This year, they started doing their laundry. One sometimes packs lunch. Last year they did quite a few things - vacuum and sweep if asked, put away things, unloaded dishwasher if asked. They also fold their laundry when asked. One thing I have a hard time is them cleaning their rooms, their toys, and keeping closets clean. Basement and their rooms is always a mess. They can fold the clothes but keeping it where it belongs neatly is a hassle because they pull out clothes in a hurry and never put them back. Once a month I scream and get them to clean up and help them out. Very next week it's back to a dump. I've given up on that battle. |
Anonymous
How old are your kids PP? Sounds like a dream that they do 1,2,3,4 without you asking. |
Anonymous
| Our children asked for us to give them "jobs" so that they could earn money. They were tired of us telling them "no" to their requests for some very expense things (e.g. drunken elephant skincare, Roller rabbit pjs, Etc). So, even though we are pretty tidy folks and hire outside help to clean the house weekly, we still came up with a list of things they can do daily or weekly for money. Our list includes things like, vacuum the dog/cat hair off the couch, vacuum certain rooms, wipe down the kitchen table and counters after dinner, takeout the trash, wash the cars, water the house plants, etc. |
Anonymous
17y. But you have to start young and have consistent expectations and hold them accountable. #1 started in middle school. They alternate. Once brings to the curb. The other bring cans in the next day. They never need a reminder for this. #2 has been there since they sat at a table and had meals. It is just a fact of life. All dishes are rinsed off and go directly into the dishwasher. They never questioned it. We never have dishes in our sink (unless something need to soak.) #3 is relatively new (HS) and after some lectures about how we all live in this house and I don't enjoy coming home from work ready to start dinner and find them on their phones with a full dishwasher. This isn't as consistent as other tasks, but I would say 75% of the time if I start the dishwasher in the AM before I leave for work, it is empty when I get home. #4 is the same as the table. When they were little, toys were always put away (before naps/bed, before meals, etc.) Their rooms aren't spotless, but manageable. |
Anonymous
Basically this. They don't have a chore chart but they do need to contribute to the household. What they do to pitch in makes a real difference in our living conditions. We all work together with the goal of not living in total squalor. |
Anonymous
|
Our kids have to:
Do their own laundry (since 7th grade) Set the table (they take turns) Clear their own places at the table Clear the table (again, take turns) Empty the dishwasher (ones does the top, the other the bottom of the dishwasher) Keep shared space tidy (no trails of sneakers, hoodies, backpacks) Pick up their rooms every other week for housekeeper to be able to change sheets/clean their rooms The rest is when asked, eg, we agree to a big room cleanup (get rid of clothes that they don't like/are too small) before the change of seasons so I can make sure they have clothes that fit or if they are asked to help with garage or basement clean up. They will also help when asked/agree to time ahead for yard work or big house projects |
Anonymous
| Our kids do just basic stuff, dishwasher, pick up after themselves, one likes to do laundry, they sometimes cook. We have cleaning help so the deep cleaning is taken care of. I used to feel guilty about not having them into strict chore obligations but then I realized that what makes me a clean and organized person weren’t the chores I did as a kid but the cleaning standards I grew up with and have maintained as a grown up, sometimes with help, sometimes without. So I refuse to let my children live in dirty rooms (I have heard lots of parents saying that its on them if they don’t clean their rooms) because they could start to naturalize that state of things as acceptable. When my children grow up I hope they’d know how a clean home feels and hopefully will want to live in clean places, either if they clean themselves or hire help. |
Anonymous
This, really. We don't have cleaners, and I don't want my kids to grow up thinking we're their servants. So we have a chore chart. |
Anonymous
|
My friends’ kids have various levels of chores.
My kids don’t have set chores but I expect them to clean up after themselves and do very basic things like help set the table, clear the table, take the trash out, bring trash can in, bring their laundry to the laundry room and load into the washing machine, etc. There are times when kids are busy and they don’t help with anything. Other times I have them help with chores if we are home on the weekends. I may have a kid vacuum or wipe down the kitchen counters. I think these are very reasonable requests. I have three kids and the kids seem to be better when each kid has a task. One kid often feels s/he is doing more chores than the other siblings. |
Anonymous
|
OP - my DS went off to college with having done his laundry maybe twice, never cleaned a toilet or sink, vacuumed a handful of times before company came over…. The only think he really knew how to do was cook, but with the dining hall he didn’t need to know.
And he did fine. He learned how to do his laundry, his bed sheets even got laundered a few times between drop off and winter break. Sophomore year he was in an apartment with roommates and he had to figure out how to clean a bathroom. They’ll do fine. |
Anonymous
| So this thread was to say that OP’s kids and most others have chores, even if folks don’t specifically call them that. Chores are just normal household and personal things that need to happen so that the house is clean and orderly. |