DH says that I don't have second thought when I sign DS8 for summer day camps that costs $600-$800/week for multiple weeks. However, I complain it is too expensive when he asks me to budget and plan for family vacation. I don't know why I am like that. Those are regular outdoor day camps, but I just want DS to be happy & have fun. And, those camps that he likes happen to be not cheap. We have $250-$400/week for county summer day camp in our area. DD4 will need summer camp next year once she goes to K. DH asks me if I am planning to sign up similar costly day camps for both DS & DD tomorrow next year for 2 kids in summer. I say well I don't know, maybe. DD prefers to stay mostly indoor and craft/music/sing/dance, and she is beginner level. Those camps tend to be not as costly as those outdoor camps. So, probably her camps will be cheaper than her brother. I would not say it is unfair, and it is how it is. Or maybe I will plan for more vacation in summer when 2 kids need summer camps, and that could be more cheaper this way.
is there something wrong with me with my calculation of cost for summer camp vs family vacation? |
I think they are 2 separate issues. $600-$800 seems a lot to me for day camp.
My kid is 11 now and her range for day camp has been $250-$450. Anything above $400 I consider pricy. Vacation is a different budget. |
I agree those camps sound pricey to me. I have two teens who did camps every year when they were younger and anything over $400 was off the table. |
My kids are teens, so I recognize that day camp costs may have changed. But we usually splurged on 1-2 weeks of a $500-600 camp, and kept the rest under $400.
But the bigger issue is that you are making unilateral decisions about how to spend the family’s money and time, and your DH isn’t on the same page. It doesn’t matter what any of us spend, what matters is coming up with a budget that compromises between your priorities and your DH’s. I obviously don’t really know why you are so focused on camps over vacation, but I’m guessing it’s some combination of 1) mommy martyr syndrome feeling like it’s better to spend money on your kids directly than on something you’ll also benefit from, or 2) camp feeling like an abstract cost because you have to commit several months ahead of time, vs vacation where you have large expenses in the moment, you’re more likely to balk at the last minute. |
This sounds like a relationship problem not a kid Summer Camp problem. I think you need to sit down with your DH and figure out what your priorities are and how many weeks of camp and at what price and how many weeks of vacation and at what prices— some people also take a week of vacation and just stay home some weeks in the summer or ship the kids after grandparents if that’s possible for one or more of the weeks-get a more comprehensive plan for the summer |
Op here. Those day camps cost $600 to $800/week because I sometimes need to pay for daily two way transportation busing, aftercare (some I need beforecare as well) and sometimes they include field trips. One PP is right that I probably have mommy martyr syndrome feeling like it’s better to spend money on my kids directly than on something everyone or I’ll also benefit from. I am already looking at $1200-$1500/week sleepaway camp that I have been thinking of but I have not dared to tell DH yet. Vacation to me is fun and tired at the same time. It is more work to plan for vacation and airline /hotel prices flucturate, unlike camp is fixed price. I want to get the best deals for vacation. DH relies on me to plan the whole vacation, and take care of everything. I work full time. For me, I hope DS8 have fun and may learn to be more outdoorsy being outdoor.
DH is not a great model to show kids outdoor activities and sportmanship. I rely on camps and classes to promote these. It is not like that we can't afford those camps. There is nothing wrong with those under $400/week camp, but I am a worried type that why they are so cheap. Will that be bullying, higher ratio, bored, and lower quality if there's no reviews I could find. There's no review for county camp in montgomery county. |
Camp Sonshine has 2 locations in moco. It’s mostly outdoors and is awesome my kid has been going for years. It’s nowhere close to what you’re paying. No bullying and it’s not boring. The counselors are great. |
You sound like you’re looking for reasons to spend a lot per week. Every parent knows that bullying happens everywhere and every camp hires from the same pool of HS and college kids so there is nothing magic about expensive camps. Personally, to me camp is childcare and vacation is family time. I definitely prioritize family time over childcare. So camp choices were based on convenience and cost. FWIW, my kids loved camp no matter where it was. |
Outdoor $800 a week camp? Thats nuts. Even barrie is cheaper. |
I pay $800/week per kid a few weeks per year for an “outdoor camp” that my kids like. I also pay $500/week for a church-run outdoor camp that is considered “cheap” where I live. I get it.
Due to some family obligations this summer, we have 3 weeks where we will be traveling and won’t need camps. I was stressing that those trips were turning out to be expensive and then my husband reminded me that 3 weeks without camps = $2-3k we’re not spending compared to a normal summer where 1 week is vacation instead of camp. |
I also get the sports thing. My husband grumbles about weekly baseball lessons that my son loves. If my husband would prioritize playing catch and working on baseball skills at home - I’m talking about 15 min 3-4x a week - then maybe he wouldn’t need lessons. The kid is not a natural athlete and he wants to play with his friends. I work with the kids on sports drills, but I did individual sports like track and swimming, so in many ways I am learning soccer, football, and baseball along with them. We are in Arlington county and also do some Fairfax county camps. Not all county camps are low quality. For NoVa, the key is to look at the vendor for the camp. Some companies have better reputations than others. Ask around at your child’s school or ask parents at your current classes. Parents at a winter soccer clinic likely have opinions on which soccer camps are a good value. |
You should take your husband’s preferences into account too. |
I think you should tell your husband that all this scheduling falls on you, and talk about how to divide and conquer. You might do it all because you don’t trust him to do it, or because it just evolved that way, but the best example you can set for your kids is to sit down and talk it over with your husband, pointing out that vacations are stressful and so forth. The American Camp Association can be a resource for different camps. I do think camp is valuable for kids, especially sleep away camp for teens and up, but it has to be mutually agreed upon financially. Research different ones. More expensive does not always mean a better camp. |
I consider $500 to be an expensive camp. Most camps can be found for $300. You are spending too much on camp. |
That seems very pricey for day camp. Do you use camp for childcare? What would be the price differential for these camps vs “regular” childcare?
I can see DH’s point as a vacation would benefit the whole family vs just the kid in question. I’d be upset if all of the discretionary $ was spent on very expensive camp while we couldn’t afford the family vacation we want. There needs to be a balance |