When to transition older kids to same room - before/after birth of DC3

[Anonymous]

We live in a 3 bedroom house. DC1 is in a much larger bedroom, and at some point we plan to transition DC2 to share that bedroom with her. We're due in ~6 months with DC3, who will sleep in our room the first 4-5 months, but eventually move into DC2's current, smaller room. Should we move DC2 before or after the baby is born? I don't want DC2 to feel like the baby is kicking them out of their room, but I'm also afraid that the transition to roomsharing will wreak havoc on our sleep and don't want to deal with that earlier than we need to.

We also need to transition DC2 out of the crib (they're capable of climbing it out of it and do so safely so it's mainly laziness that we haven't converted it into a toddler bed yet). Should move DC2 straight to a big kid bed in the new/shared room or do the crib-to-bed transition in the current room first and move DC2 once they're adjusted to staying in the bed? We won't buy a big kid bed until they move to the shared room.

[Anonymous]

We moved our kids to share bedrooms when they could sleep through the night. Do it before the baby is born, and move them to the big kid room with a big kid bed.

[Anonymous]

Ha. We're (hopefully) going to be in this situation very soon (trying for #3 now, exact same room arrangements). So I'm interested in what others think.

I think the ages of the older kids matters. To me, in an ideal world, by the time #1 and #2 are sharing, #1 is no longer napping. I don't know about you, but my two kids share a room on vacation a lot, and we find that sharing for night is waaaay easier than sharing for nap. Also in an ideal world #2 is fully reliably sleep trained (in bed or in a crib). Since you're at a transition point and dealing with a crib climber, I'd solve that first before moving them together. Transition to the big kid bed in his existing room, use an OK to wake clock, enforce bedtime, nap time and wakeup time, and make sure that's fully worked out before you move them together.

Ideally, that's all done and you can move him before the baby is born, but if not, I think it's okay to move him after the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

We allow our older child to move to the smaller room alone, and then have the younger two share the bigger room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We allow our older child to move to the smaller room alone, and then have the younger two share the bigger room.

I'm the one above who will soon be in the same position, and I strongly disagree with this. If at all possibly, a baby needs his own room until good sleep habits are established. With three bedrooms, three kids, and no twins, I'd definitely have #3 alone in a room until at least age 1.

[Anonymous]

Do it ahead of baby’s birth. If you think you don’t want disrupted sleep now, you aren’t remembering having a baby very well lol! Much better now - sell it as moving to the big girl room, etc.

[Anonymous]

I would get them a bunk bed for Christmas and make it a big treat. Buy yourself 3 more months of easy sleep and still get them situated well in advance of baby #3's arrival.

[Anonymous]

Do it before, and make it all about them - allow them to pick out some new bedroom decorations, maybe a bunk bed?

[Anonymous]

Ages?

[Anonymous]

Maybe start with a "sleepover" weekend before moving DC2 permanently, to see how it goes. Our kids loved their "sleepover" so much that it turned into permanent room sharing, which was our eventual goal.

But definitely do it soon and make it exciting. Hype the big kid bed in a big kid room. Let DC1 help rearrange the room and pick out space for DC2's bed/stuff. Let DC2 decorate their new space somehow.

Sidenote: It was so much easier for our second to transition to a big kid bed from the crib, because she already shared a room with her sister and saw how to stay in her bed and had someone to talk to when she got scared or bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe start with a "sleepover" weekend before moving DC2 permanently, to see how it goes. Our kids loved their "sleepover" so much that it turned into permanent room sharing, which was our eventual goal.

But definitely do it soon and make it exciting. Hype the big kid bed in a big kid room. Let DC1 help rearrange the room and pick out space for DC2's bed/stuff. Let DC2 decorate their new space somehow.

Sidenote: It was so much easier for our second to transition to a big kid bed from the crib, because she already shared a room with her sister and saw how to stay in her bed and had someone to talk to when she got scared or bored.

I should add:
Maybe give it 1-2 months (since you have the time) after they start sharing and then ask the kids to help you set up the old room for the baby, so that they can be part of transforming that space for the baby.

[Anonymous]

If DC2 is still napping, leave in the room as long as possible. I had to move one DC to make room for baby but he went downstairs I waited until we really needed the baby in his own room before moving big brother. He was a little scared to be the only one downstairs so the older he was the better it worked.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the advice everyone! Moving DC2 around the holidays sounds like a good plan, and time fore us all to prepare and then hopefully settle back into a routine before DC3 arrives.

DC 1 is almost 5, DC2 is a little over 2 but already rarely naps on weekends (and occasionally refuses to nap at daycare too). We are also hoping to potty train DC2 soon, so a December/January room transition will also give us time to hopefully adjust to potty training first.