Toddler is either being bit or biting himself
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Anonymous
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A bit at a loss here and could use some advice. My 2.5 year old came home with a clear bite mark on his arm. When we asked him about it he said very clearly "Larla did it" When we asked him what the teachers said, he said "They told him No! Don't do that!" We wrote to his daycare and they said they didn't see it happen and that my son usually yells if someone gets too close to him. They also told me that they observed him this morning "digging his teeth into his own arm" and when they asked him about it blamed someone else.
I've NEVER seen him bite anyone before -- himself, my husband and I, his little brother, strangers, etc. He's not a biter so I'm having a hard time believing this but I guess it's possible he's completely different at daycare. Anyone have experience with this? If this is true, should I be concerned he's biting himself? What can I do if I don't see it myself? Also, at 2.5 years old can I even try to correct lying yet? |
Anonymous
| You aren’t going to be able to figure this out and that is ok. If it was me, take care of the bite mark and let it go. |
Anonymous
| This is sensory seeking behavior. Check out discussions in the autism spectrum community for something called "Chewelry" -- jewelry that you chew. I am autistic and I used to bite myself. I could have used some chewelry like this. Kids who are doing this for sensory seeking will also sometimes gnaw on their clothing, chewing holes thorugh it etc. It is sometimes related to anxiety. Is he an introvert? |
Anonymous
OP here. thank you for this. Yes, he definitely leans more introvert than extrovert. I will say they recently graduated him to a new classroom in daycare and he got a new baby brother 3 months ago. May be a combination of all that leading to anxiety? I guess it's just odd that it doesn't seem to present itself at home. Any insight on that? |
Anonymous
OP here. Thank you for this take. I'm spiraling a bit trying to figure out the why and what I should do next. Perhaps these are one of the things i have to keep an eye on but generally accept that I won't get to the bottom of. |
Anonymous
I think the first time you have to just go with "toddlers are weird" and "sometimes they try things, decide they didn't like them and don't do them again" and another dose of "toddlers are weird". Repeatedly biting yourself could be a sign that he's stressed or overwhelmed. But kids will try a lot of things once. |
Anonymous
| Home is his safe place. Kids can behave very differently in daycare, especially around their peers. My kid’s class also went through a biting phase and they grew out of it. |
Anonymous
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You can’t correct lying at this age, no.
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Anonymous
Np, but thanks for this info. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I wouldn’t go straight to freaking out after one incident. Toddlers are weird and many go through biting stages either on themselves or others. Thankfully it’s generally short lived. You may see it pop up at home or you may not but either way hopefully it’ll pass quickly. |
Anonymous
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It's developmentally appropriate for toddlers to bite. When our oldest was bit, they told the friend, "we only bite food, not friends," which we all had a big laugh over. 3 years later, our 2nd child was the biter. I was mortified, and they told our child, "we only bite food, not friends."
They all grow out of it, usually fairly quickly |
Anonymous
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If he was bitten by another kid that is very common at 2.5 and may happen again a couple times in daycare.
If biting himself, can be within range of normal for sure. It is a way to release frustration. My son used to bite himself between this age and 4 and he did end up having adhd but that is not always the case!!!! |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks everyone for all these helpful responses! |
Anonymous
| Daycare is a very different environment than home. You aren't going to see the same behaviours as his stress and coping is going to be more environmentally specific. |
Anonymous
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It's usually pretty easy to tell from a bite mark which are the top teeth and which are the bottom. An arm bite that you do to yourself will have the smaller arc of marks on the thumb side. An arm bite from someone else will almost always be the opposite.
Signed, Someone with way too much experience! |