Walk me through travel and pros and cons

[Anonymous]

I know this is a dumb question for this board, but please help. I am not athletic and not at all in the know about how sports work in this crazy area…

My 4th grade DD is very talented. Picks up new sports quickly and easily, tough and disciplined, developing athletic IQ, good coordination, very fast, coachable, blah blah blah. She’s been playing her preferred sport at a higher than rec but still local level and - at the urging of other parents/coaches on her team - is going to try out for a travel club.

IF she makes it, what are the pros and cons to staying where we are v going to this next level? She is committed and wants to play at the highest level possible… but just… from a parent perspective, why? I mean, she’s 10. I have no idea if she’ll be good enough to get a HS or college scholarship or even if she’d want to do that. So please walk me through how to make this decision in a logical way.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a similar boat, although I have a son. I have no lived experience. Things that I am keeping in mind first - before thinking about this particular child - is the impact on our family unit. I have 3 kids, and I can't put one in an activity that dramatically alters how we function as a family unit. He is 9, and our focus is on the family, not on his sports development. He gets all that he needs from rec sports at this point in time, and that just has to be enough.

[Anonymous]

Just keep in mind the longer you wait to join a travel program, the harder it becomes to make the team. Also, our high school team is comprised of kids who all played travel. Of course, your school and experience may be different. For us, it's been a sacrifice for our kid and our family. We typically divide and conquer (one parent takes the kid to tournament, the other parent stays home with our other kid). We also only play one travel sport and all other activities are very low key and close to home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just keep in mind the longer you wait to join a travel program, the harder it becomes to make the team. Also, our high school team is comprised of kids who all played travel. Of course, your school and experience may be different. For us, it's been a sacrifice for our kid and our family. We typically divide and conquer (one parent takes the kid to tournament, the other parent stays home with our other kid). We also only play one travel sport and all other activities are very low key and close to home.

This is big. The converse is that a lot of clubs are slow to drop down or cut paying members. I think the big thing is that you'll lose at decent number of weekend days driving to places you probably wouldn't otherwise want to go. A couple of hours is routine and then you'll just drive home and you day is shot. I think on the plus side, the kids get to have a ton of fun, most love the away tournaments and they do start really getting better as a byproduct of two or three times a week of hard training. I think the last part gets over looked because the gap widens each year and you get to a point where it's much harder to make the jump unless the kid is just a freak athlete

[Anonymous]

I have a 13 year old son in baseball, and this has been our experience so far. He joined at 12u, so this is his 4th season (seasons in baseball are fall, spring, and for some, summer) doing travel. I don't know the commitment at younger ages, but his team has field practices twice a week. Last year, they had an optional batting practice that most, but not all, showed up for. Then two games in the form of doubleheaders on Sunday and sometimes a mid-week single game. The team usually does 3-4 tournaments a season; most are within 1-2 hour drives and then we have one out of town tourney. Each winter, they have 3x weekly workouts that run Jan-March. I believe that participation in these winter workouts is technically optional, but everyone does them (I have known one kid who didn't do them, though).

I believe you can find teams with less commitment and then teams that are all in; probably just depends on each team's philosophy.

Comparing it to Little League, the number of baseball activities each week seems similar, but the doubleheaders on Sunday are indeed a time-suck. In addition, obviously you're doing more driving compared to rec ball.

For our family:

Pros
1. Kid loves baseball and it allows him to be a part of something bigger than himself.
2. His particular team/coach encourages participation in other sports, so DS plays rec basketball during the winter, which he also really enjoys.
3. The skill level is higher than what rec offers, typically.
4. We have an older child who doesn't need to come to games (and chooses not to) and DH often stays home or comes to one of the two games, and does yard or housework instead. So, we aren't dragging the whole family to games and our house isn't fall apart in our absence. YMMV on this one.

Cons
1. It can be expensive. Our team has more reasonable fees, but it's still not cheap.
2. Doubleheader games are easily 5-7 hours of the day.

My son asks to do this and we don't push him. I'm glad that he waited till 12 to do travel as I suspect he might have burned out before, but I know kids who can't get enough of it and eat, sleep, and drink baseball.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Really appreciate these responses - some are things I am thinking through, some I had never thought of before. So thank you.

The fitness thing is real. I’m already seeing it at 10.

[Anonymous]

Prime time for travel sports is middle school. At many publics, the soccer teams are all travel players and most baseball and lacrosse players too (at least on varsity). It’s just the way it is.

Many kids start to drop the travel sports in high school (especially junior and senior year). They discover that they don’t want to give up the entire weekend to drive to New Jersey, for example. It’s their choice - no matter how much time and money you may have sunk into the travel sports. Know that going in. Do it until it’s no longer enjoyable or feasible.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of positives to travel sports, but here are some cons to consider:

- Travel sports are a big business. Your child will be able to play as long as someone else is making money.

- You will encounter many wonderful coaches, parents, teammates, etc. You will also encounter people who are only looking out for their own best interests, which are often not what is in your child's best interest. You'll need to help them to navigate this.

- I'd recommend that going in you set the ground rules of what you're willing to do and what your family wants to get out of the experience. Revisit this each season to make sure you're still comfortable with the tradeoffs that you are making. Will you pay for private coaching to get better playing time? Are you okay with making the sport a priority over all else? Will you allow your child to stay on a team with an abusive coach because you think it will get them to the next level?

- Remember that your adolescent child will be spending a tremendous amount of time with their coaches and teammates. Often more time than they will spend with parents and siblings. Ask yourself if they are being influenced by the right people and staying true to your families values.

- Be comfortable with the fact that there can be lifelong consequences, both good and bad. I've seen middle schools sustain injuries that may well be life altering. Yes, they love to play the game, but do they love it enough to sustain multiple concussions, to endure multiple surgeries before they are 18? To walk with a limp at 30? Sure, the chance of injury is slight, but it can happen and you should go in with your eyes open.

- This all sounds negative, but overall my family has had positive experiences in 3 different travel sports, and I have seen sports be truly life changing in a positive way, but you need to go into it with your eyes open.

[Anonymous]

OP, what sport is it? This will matter.

Our experience has been amazing for one kid and up and down for the other. But three things have been true:

1) If you think they will EVER want to do travel in that sport, do it now. This is especially true for girls who mature earlier. Kids who start later and who aren't doing other sports. They just simply can't make up the time it takes to get those basic skills down.

2) The "travel" experience will be largely dictated by the coach and the composition of the team. Pick your coach well!

3) You can try and quit. It's perfectly fine to do one season or a year and then decide its not for you. You can also move down a level if you think you need less intensity.

[Anonymous]

Really great advice here.

It’s soccer. (Fwiw, soccer is not the sport I would have picked for her, but nothing else she has tried - except running, which she also loves - has stuck.)

[Anonymous]

The differences, especially at 10 that I've noted are:

1. Commitment - Almost all the kids show up all the time. Still at this age pretty relaxed but it won't be a struggle each week to get a lineup or have a practice.

2. Professional coaching instead of parents. However, coaches vary wildly in quality even in the same clubs. Be aware that no one has your child's best interest at heart except you. Find a happy alignment of interests.

3. Better fields and reffing (not great, better refs).

4. If your child is truly gifted and incredibly athletic, travel leads into the leagues where colleges are looking (encl for girls) or pro (mls-next) for boys.

5. Likely improves chances to do school sports later.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wanted to respond to this part of your question:

“She is committed and wants to play at the highest level possible… but just… from a parent perspective, why? I mean, she’s 10. I have no idea if she’ll be good enough to get a HS or college scholarship or even if she’d want to do that. So please walk me through how to make this decision in a logical way.”

You should not go into this process with the idea that your child may be good enough to get a scholarship down the line. Putting aside the odds of that happening for any kid, you don’t really have enough info yet to know how talented your child actually is since she hasn’t been in a competitive program yet. She sounds like a kid who will probably learn and grow from the travel experience, and that should be your only focus for now if you can afford it.

Once you enter into the travel world, just evaluate it one season or year at a time. The goals for the coming year or two should all be about developing foot skills and learning how to play positions. Then most soccer kids focus on trying to make their middle school teams (not easy at most public schools in our area), next step is trying to make the HS team, or make varsity, while hopefully playing on a good travel team that is both competitive and fun. You can quit at any point along the way, but you don’t need to think about potential college play for many years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wanted to respond to this part of your question:

“She is committed and wants to play at the highest level possible… but just… from a parent perspective, why? I mean, she’s 10. I have no idea if she’ll be good enough to get a HS or college scholarship or even if she’d want to do that. So please walk me through how to make this decision in a logical way.”

You should not go into this process with the idea that your child may be good enough to get a scholarship down the line. Putting aside the odds of that happening for any kid, you don’t really have enough info yet to know how talented your child actually is since she hasn’t been in a competitive program yet. She sounds like a kid who will probably learn and grow from the travel experience, and that should be your only focus for now if you can afford it.

Once you enter into the travel world, just evaluate it one season or year at a time. The goals for the coming year or two should all be about developing foot skills and learning how to play positions. Then most soccer kids focus on trying to make their middle school teams (not easy at most public schools in our area), next step is trying to make the HS team, or make varsity, while hopefully playing on a good travel team that is both competitive and fun. You can quit at any point along the way, but you don’t need to think about potential college play for many years.

You know how athletic you are, you know how athletic your spouse is, and you know how athletic your family is. You know how tall you are, how tall your spouse is, and where your kid is on growth charts. You know how athletic your kid is compared to their peers and how coordinated your kid is. With all that information, you get a pretty good idea. Sure there are outliers, but genetics almost always wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wanted to respond to this part of your question:

“She is committed and wants to play at the highest level possible… but just… from a parent perspective, why? I mean, she’s 10. I have no idea if she’ll be good enough to get a HS or college scholarship or even if she’d want to do that. So please walk me through how to make this decision in a logical way.”

You should not go into this process with the idea that your child may be good enough to get a scholarship down the line. Putting aside the odds of that happening for any kid, you don’t really have enough info yet to know how talented your child actually is since she hasn’t been in a competitive program yet. She sounds like a kid who will probably learn and grow from the travel experience, and that should be your only focus for now if you can afford it.

Once you enter into the travel world, just evaluate it one season or year at a time. The goals for the coming year or two should all be about developing foot skills and learning how to play positions. Then most soccer kids focus on trying to make their middle school teams (not easy at most public schools in our area), next step is trying to make the HS team, or make varsity, while hopefully playing on a good travel team that is both competitive and fun. You can quit at any point along the way, but you don’t need to think about potential college play for many years.

You know how athletic you are, you know how athletic your spouse is, and you know how athletic your family is. You know how tall you are, how tall your spouse is, and where your kid is on growth charts. You know how athletic your kid is compared to their peers and how coordinated your kid is. With all that information, you get a pretty good idea. Sure there are outliers, but genetics almost always wins.

You cannot know whether your 10 year old rec soccer player will eventually play in college even if you are able to accurately assess their athletic ability. There are far too many variables, and it’s not helpful to their development to try to forecast that far out. All you need to do is keep giving them opportunities to improve and the rest will sort itself out in time.

[Anonymous]

There are no pros. Just a bunch of cons. In fact the whole industry is a con.