gay clothing "signaling" for closeted gay men around 2010

[Anonymous]

I am trying to find out what trends may have existed in or around 2010 for gay men who were closeted to signal/find each other in the DC area. This is for an unofficial inquiry regarding a cold missing person case and so I cannot disclose anything other than that.

I grew up with a gay couple as family friends and they were telling me about how back in the day it was jeans and sneakers, to which we all laughed because thats all anyone was wearing at that time. They are in their 70's, for reference.

Anyway, I suppose I can try to navigate reddit for answers but I figured I would start here. This would be for an adult over 25 and under 40. So, not a teen.

Any clues would be helpful. So far google isnt helping. Im looking for something like "Back in 2010, gay men would wear t shirts of color X and shoes of color X together". The key question being what might a gay man have worn that would be understood by people in the know but not at all obvious to his family, for example.

Its difficult to imagine people having to hide this, but clearly it is still a reality for many. Im not sure that people in this situation would be here, but just in case anyone knows.

Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

There wasn’t closeted gay men clothing signaling around 2010. There would have been no need.

Around 2010, they likely went to gay clubs, non gay people close to him just didn’t know. Alternatively, he hooked up on grinder (or given that it was 2010, possibly Craigslist or gay.com).

[Anonymous]

Anything with a rainbow

[Anonymous]

I'm a queer woman, but active enough in the broader scene to say that that sort of "signaling" really hasn't existed, at least in this area, since maybe the mid-90s at the latest?

I know what you are talking about, like a handkerchief in your back pocket or a specific piece of jewelry, but at least among white gay men, that just wasn't really a thing anymore.

Now, if the person was Black, there may be some specific signals for men "on the down low" that I wouldn't have known about, so maybe drill down on the group a little?

[Anonymous]

Women wearing cargo pants or shorts, a fishing style shirt, hiking boots and a “butch” hairstyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There wasn’t closeted gay men clothing signaling around 2010. There would have been no need.

Around 2010, they likely went to gay clubs, non gay people close to him just didn’t know. Alternatively, he hooked up on grinder (or given that it was 2010, possibly Craigslist or gay.com).

Op here. Kind of what I thought. Good point about craigslist. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women wearing cargo pants or shorts, a fishing style shirt, hiking boots and a “butch” hairstyle.

also bead style necklace, wearing an undershirt under a tshirt, bun in hair, not poly tail if longer hair, drives an suv. ( gay woman who did all these)

[Anonymous]

OP if you think people were walking around with gay code clothing in 2010, you need to hire a private investigator.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe do some Googling about anthropologists or sociologists who look into gay culture and clothing, and see if you can find—if not articles about this exact topic—the names of a few scholars who study this topic. They may have resources for you. If you end up getting in touch with anyone, be sure to lead with the fact that you are assisting with a cold case. If you are a friend or family member of the victim, you need to state that. Give any “credentials” you have up front. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a queer woman, but active enough in the broader scene to say that that sort of "signaling" really hasn't existed, at least in this area, since maybe the mid-90s at the latest?

I know what you are talking about, like a handkerchief in your back pocket or a specific piece of jewelry, but at least among white gay men, that just wasn't really a thing anymore.

Now, if the person was Black, there may be some specific signals for men "on the down low" that I wouldn't have known about, so maybe drill down on the group a little?

I'm the same demographic and agree with all of this. I would add maybe a tee shirt with the name of a specific group, organization, show, club etc that was gay-focused? In 2010 maybe Nellie's, Town, etc.

[Anonymous]

Tight fitting neon colored clothes

[Anonymous]

Dallas Cowboys gear

[Anonymous]

At one point, one earring was rumored (by straight kids like me) to mean you were gay, but I think that was much more before the 2010, e.g. 1990s.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

I was the first poster to respond. I am a gay man who is now 45. I keep checking this thread. I’ve seen a lot of lesbians responding and I think they are off track. I just went back and looked at photos from that time. I think my answer stands with 3 small exceptions.

1 no gay man would have been caught dead with facial hair in that age group at that time.

2 tank tops

3 tighter fitting shirts than straight people would have worn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am trying to find out what trends may have existed in or around 2010 for gay men who were closeted to signal/find each other in the DC area. This is for an unofficial inquiry regarding a cold missing person case and so I cannot disclose anything other than that.

I grew up with a gay couple as family friends and they were telling me about how back in the day it was jeans and sneakers, to which we all laughed because thats all anyone was wearing at that time. They are in their 70's, for reference.

Anyway, I suppose I can try to navigate reddit for answers but I figured I would start here. This would be for an adult over 25 and under 40. So, not a teen.

Any clues would be helpful. So far google isnt helping. Im looking for something like "Back in 2010, gay men would wear t shirts of color X and shoes of color X together". The key question being what might a gay man have worn that would be understood by people in the know but not at all obvious to his family, for example.

Its difficult to imagine people having to hide this, but clearly it is still a reality for many. Im not sure that people in this situation would be here, but just in case anyone knows.

Thanks in advance.

You're so wrong.

DC in 2010 was not the deep south in 1960.