Did you let your gifted child skip a grade(s)?

[Anonymous]

At a dilemma here. My son is smart in all subjects but especially math. He is in his last yr at his current private school. Their grades are fluid so the “grade” they have him in is one yr ahead of chronological grade, though he is a fall birthday (started k at 4 going on 5 in Oct)

Even so, he is working on material 2-3 grades ahead. We will be sending him to public school next yr. My inclination is to send him “on time” and back track him to be with the kids he should have started K with. While they do have an accelerated/gifted program, it doesn’t really get truly accelerated until 7th grade- we would be starting him in 6th, per when his birthday falls. I think it would be better for him for middle school/high school to not be the youngest. But 6th grade will be super boring. I don’t particularly think he will care and we will challenge and supplement through other programs at home. Then come 7th grade he will have additional programs through school he will qualify for. Am I crazy for keeping him back to be with his age co-cohort when he can work so much above that level?

If you let your child skip a grade or more do you regret it?

[Anonymous]

No, but DH and I both played a sport in college and can't help but want that for our kids, too.

[Anonymous]

What grade is your child in now? Who decides if a child skips a grade? Parent or school district?

[Anonymous]

No, and not for that ridiculous sports reason.

At that age, it's very common for children to be advanced by several grades. They can do the work intellectually, but are rarely as emotionally and socially advanced, which leads to problems in middle and high school, with puberty and the switch to more grown-up pursuits. I skipped a grade, and was socially out of sync in high school.

What you can do is supplement and enrich now, and look for magnet schools. This is what I did for my kids.

[Anonymous]

All of our kids skipped a grade somewhere between kinder and 2nd grade. All of them were born between very end of August and very end of November.

So far two have graduated from college, and they've never regretted it, and two are currently in high school and don't regret it. I think when a kid is skipped so young they are just firmly acclimated with that group of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of our kids skipped a grade somewhere between kinder and 2nd grade. All of them were born between very end of August and very end of November.

So far two have graduated from college, and they've never regretted it, and two are currently in high school and don't regret it. I think when a kid is skipped so young they are just firmly acclimated with that group of kids.

This is OP. I would agree with this, but since we are moving schools and districts, he won’t know anyone starting in his new school in either grade we put him in

[Anonymous]

My parents faced this decision and decided not to skip. I’m thankful. It’s possible the alternate reality timeline would have ended up just as well, but looking back on HS and college there was “enough” opportunities both in school and out to keep me intellectually engaged and only occasionally bored (and a little bit of boredom isn’t necessarily bad either… can lead to more creativity), but socially I think being a year ahead and thus a year younger than my peers may have been more of a struggle for me.

[Anonymous]

We have a September kid who skipped k. I cannot imagine them being in a grade younger now. Don’t hold back.

[Anonymous]

I was not skipped but was enrolled in K early because I was hyperlexic and academically way ahead. In hindsight it wasn’t a good decision. I was academically always ahead but socially it was always very challenging. School is more than academics.

[Anonymous]

Despite all the mounting evidence that older kids do better in school both academically and socially, there are upsides to being the youngest. For example, it's a lot easier to get sympathy when you're the youngest in a group than when you're the oldest in a group, which is something that some people greatly desire. The youngest in a group is also the most likely to be doted on and get, what I like to call, "puppy attention". While many kids find these things annoying, other kids might really enjoy this kind of attention. In kids' books and movies, it's very common for the protagonist to be the youngest in a group, whether it's their family, their classroom, etc. For some children, being like the protagonist in their favorite story is really important to them. You know your son best OP, and it's up to you to figure out which decision will make him happier.

For instance, how competitive is he? Is it really important for him to win when playing board games or outdoor games? When you've watched him at school, does he seem determined to impress his friends and do better than them at everything? Does being smaller than others bother him? If so, he would probably be happier being the oldest.

On the other hand, is there a book or movie protagonist that he really wants to be like? How does he feel when he's doted on? When you have friends and colleagues over for dinner, does he enjoy the attention he receives due to being the only child in a room of adults? Does he enjoy hearing them say things like "awww" and "you're so adorable"? If that's the case, he may be happier if he skips, is it would be impossible for him to get that kind of attention if he were the oldest.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know that a school district is going to allow you to go back a grade. Typically after first grade kids enter school based on the last grade completed.

My youngest who has an October birthday entered kindergarten at age four in a district where the cutoff was August 31. It’s been fine.

[Anonymous]

You're not asking about skipping, which your child has already done. You're asking about holding him back. Absolutely do not.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the new school district about opportunities in math.Is he going to repeat math already learned this way?

[Anonymous]

I don't know how it works at your school, but at DD's middle school, grade = your language arts. Math can be taken several years ahead. DD is challenged in math and bored in most other subjects, but it's okay. Teachers are pretty good about offering advanced work if needed and not making her spend time on smaller assignments on topics she already knows.

I would definitely ask the district what math your kid will be in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not asking about skipping, which your child has already done. You're asking about holding him back. Absolutely do not.

Well, this is not cut and dry. His private school is nontraditional. The classrooms are mixed grades and they kids all work together at whatever level they are. They don't follow the same curriculum at public school or a traditional private school. So...while he may be way ahead in math and maybe some other areas, there may be holes or deficiencies in some areas too we don't know of yet. Plus the learning, organization and classroom styles will be totally different from what he is used to and will probably take an adjustment.