Nanny Share Experiences and Cost

[Anonymous]

We are expecting our first child and are looking into nanny shares as a potential childcare option, beginning in January 2023 when our child will be approximately 5 months old. We are hoping to hear some experiences of those who have used nanny shares.

What did you like about it? What didn't you like about it? How did you handle hosting (split between families or at one home)? Are there typically just two children in a nanny share or more?

We are also interested in comparing the costs/benefits to daycare and would like to understand the average cost of a nanny share each month. We'll likely need 45 hours of coverage and would need to take overtime into consideration.

[Anonymous]

We started our nanny share recently, so I can't speak to all of your questions, but can to a few. We have one baby and we are in the share with one other baby. A lot of people seem to pick a share house, but we are rotating houses. I think there are typically just two children in a share, and maybe three children on occasion if two are from one family (but I think that would be more common when kids are older). We explored daycares in Arlington before going the nanny share route and the costs varied. More formal centers were around $600/month, in-home options seemed to be around $350-400/month and really varied in size, formality, structure, etc. We found the average rate for a nanny for a share to be around $25/hour (which the families would presumably split in half), but this also varied depending on the nanny and her years of experience. There were many nannies who requested lower rates and some who requested higher rates, but we did not have anyone (even with many years of experience) ask for a rate over $30/hour. There are a couple local Facebook groups where people post for nannies and regularly offer rates of around $20-22/hour for a share. There are always people who respond to those posts with interest, but that rate felt too low to us. Some people just pay a flat rate for hours over 40, some people offer OT (which is the appropriate way to pay). DCUM seems to have a large number of nannies who suggest rates should be higher than this (and whether they *should* be is a different discussion).

As far as pros/cons, I think most are obvious. As far as cons of daycare, all of these can vary depending on the daycare, but generally: Daycares typically have more children and fewer caretakers, so individualized attention may be lacking. More kids often means more illnesses. You have to drop your kid off and pick your kid up every day at daycare, pack bags, etc. Right now parents cannot go into daycares because of covid restrictions, so there is typically less of a connection to what is going on day to day. Some daycares send photos, some do not. Some daycares will not cater to your child's individual scheduling needs. Pros of daycare: Larger daycare centers often have longer hours, which we found to be a pro since our hours may vary a bit on the front end or back end of the day from one day to the next. There is more oversight and less risk of a rogue caregiver. They are state regulated and there are inspections (pre covid). If there are multiple providers and a provider is sick, there is still daycare. You don't have to manage an employee, an employee's vacation, tardiness and other issues of the like. It's typically a more affordable option. Kids get socialization.

Cons of a nanny also are really going to vary depending on your nanny, but generally: it's just one person with your child so no real oversight. You have someone in your home space all the time (unless the share is held at the other house). You have to become a manager and deal with personnel issues, vacation time, tardiness, illness, etc. A nanny share is often more expensive than daycare, but not always. Pros of a nanny: you have a lot more control over the day to day, schedule, activities, etc. You can ask the nanny to do certain activities or send pictures/videos. The relationship between a nanny and a child is normally a much deeper, personalized one. Your child will typically get more attention. You don't have to drop off/pick up your kid, pack bags, etc. (unless the share is held at the other house). The nanny will often do the child's laundry and tidying related to the child. Your nanny may become like family and integrate well with your day-to-day life.

The pros/cons of a share depend on how you set it up and where the kids are located, but has the benefit of being more economical and offering socialization. These are the two reasons we chose a share. However, you have to deal with the dynamics of another family/baby, which can be easy or not (in our case, it has been easy so far). Some nannies are good at balancing two kids/families, but not all are. We may further consider daycare when our baby is older, but we felt like the share offered a great compromise for when he is younger.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny share is great because the nanny is great! She has her degree in teaching and has done shares before. We host at our house because we have a yard. We really like the family we share with and have the same philosophies on eating, sleeping and managing an employee. Our kids are two months apart.

We give the nanny money for food and she chooses the kids (now toddlers) menus for lunches and snacks during the week. That way the kids are more apt to try new foods when one sees the other one liking it. Nanny also buys art supplies and books for the kids. The other family often brings over toys.

Initial expenses involve the other family getting a crib/pack and play for our house and both families splitting the cost of a double stroller. We split nanny’s salary equally where we uboth need her that day or not (vacations, appointments, staying home with visiting relatives, etc).

The downside is that our family room looks like a preschool. Nanny starts with a clean kitchen and leaves a clean kitchen but no kid’s laundry.

[Anonymous]

Definitely have a good contract in place

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started our nanny share recently, so I can't speak to all of your questions, but can to a few. We have one baby and we are in the share with one other baby. A lot of people seem to pick a share house, but we are rotating houses. I think there are typically just two children in a share, and maybe three children on occasion if two are from one family (but I think that would be more common when kids are older). We explored daycares in Arlington before going the nanny share route and the costs varied. More formal centers were around $600/month, in-home options seemed to be around $350-400/month and really varied in size, formality, structure, etc. We found the average rate for a nanny for a share to be around $25/hour (which the families would presumably split in half), but this also varied depending on the nanny and her years of experience. There were many nannies who requested lower rates and some who requested higher rates, but we did not have anyone (even with many years of experience) ask for a rate over $30/hour. There are a couple local Facebook groups where people post for nannies and regularly offer rates of around $20-22/hour for a share. There are always people who respond to those posts with interest, but that rate felt too low to us. Some people just pay a flat rate for hours over 40, some people offer OT (which is the appropriate way to pay). DCUM seems to have a large number of nannies who suggest rates should be higher than this (and whether they *should* be is a different discussion).

As far as pros/cons, I think most are obvious. As far as cons of daycare, all of these can vary depending on the daycare, but generally: Daycares typically have more children and fewer caretakers, so individualized attention may be lacking. More kids often means more illnesses. You have to drop your kid off and pick your kid up every day at daycare, pack bags, etc. Right now parents cannot go into daycares because of covid restrictions, so there is typically less of a connection to what is going on day to day. Some daycares send photos, some do not. Some daycares will not cater to your child's individual scheduling needs. Pros of daycare: Larger daycare centers often have longer hours, which we found to be a pro since our hours may vary a bit on the front end or back end of the day from one day to the next. There is more oversight and less risk of a rogue caregiver. They are state regulated and there are inspections (pre covid). If there are multiple providers and a provider is sick, there is still daycare. You don't have to manage an employee, an employee's vacation, tardiness and other issues of the like. It's typically a more affordable option. Kids get socialization.

Cons of a nanny also are really going to vary depending on your nanny, but generally: it's just one person with your child so no real oversight. You have someone in your home space all the time (unless the share is held at the other house). You have to become a manager and deal with personnel issues, vacation time, tardiness, illness, etc. A nanny share is often more expensive than daycare, but not always. Pros of a nanny: you have a lot more control over the day to day, schedule, activities, etc. You can ask the nanny to do certain activities or send pictures/videos. The relationship between a nanny and a child is normally a much deeper, personalized one. Your child will typically get more attention. You don't have to drop off/pick up your kid, pack bags, etc. (unless the share is held at the other house). The nanny will often do the child's laundry and tidying related to the child. Your nanny may become like family and integrate well with your day-to-day life.

The pros/cons of a share depend on how you set it up and where the kids are located, but has the benefit of being more economical and offering socialization. These are the two reasons we chose a share. However, you have to deal with the dynamics of another family/baby, which can be easy or not (in our case, it has been easy so far). Some nannies are good at balancing two kids/families, but not all are. We may further consider daycare when our baby is older, but we felt like the share offered a great compromise for when he is younger.

You mean a week with those daycare prices...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started our nanny share recently, so I can't speak to all of your questions, but can to a few. We have one baby and we are in the share with one other baby. A lot of people seem to pick a share house, but we are rotating houses. I think there are typically just two children in a share, and maybe three children on occasion if two are from one family (but I think that would be more common when kids are older). We explored daycares in Arlington before going the nanny share route and the costs varied. More formal centers were around $600/month, in-home options seemed to be around $350-400/month and really varied in size, formality, structure, etc. We found the average rate for a nanny for a share to be around $25/hour (which the families would presumably split in half), but this also varied depending on the nanny and her years of experience. There were many nannies who requested lower rates and some who requested higher rates, but we did not have anyone (even with many years of experience) ask for a rate over $30/hour. There are a couple local Facebook groups where people post for nannies and regularly offer rates of around $20-22/hour for a share. There are always people who respond to those posts with interest, but that rate felt too low to us. Some people just pay a flat rate for hours over 40, some people offer OT (which is the appropriate way to pay). DCUM seems to have a large number of nannies who suggest rates should be higher than this (and whether they *should* be is a different discussion).

As far as pros/cons, I think most are obvious. As far as cons of daycare, all of these can vary depending on the daycare, but generally: Daycares typically have more children and fewer caretakers, so individualized attention may be lacking. More kids often means more illnesses. You have to drop your kid off and pick your kid up every day at daycare, pack bags, etc. Right now parents cannot go into daycares because of covid restrictions, so there is typically less of a connection to what is going on day to day. Some daycares send photos, some do not. Some daycares will not cater to your child's individual scheduling needs. Pros of daycare: Larger daycare centers often have longer hours, which we found to be a pro since our hours may vary a bit on the front end or back end of the day from one day to the next. There is more oversight and less risk of a rogue caregiver. They are state regulated and there are inspections (pre covid). If there are multiple providers and a provider is sick, there is still daycare. You don't have to manage an employee, an employee's vacation, tardiness and other issues of the like. It's typically a more affordable option. Kids get socialization.

Cons of a nanny also are really going to vary depending on your nanny, but generally: it's just one person with your child so no real oversight. You have someone in your home space all the time (unless the share is held at the other house). You have to become a manager and deal with personnel issues, vacation time, tardiness, illness, etc. A nanny share is often more expensive than daycare, but not always. Pros of a nanny: you have a lot more control over the day to day, schedule, activities, etc. You can ask the nanny to do certain activities or send pictures/videos. The relationship between a nanny and a child is normally a much deeper, personalized one. Your child will typically get more attention. You don't have to drop off/pick up your kid, pack bags, etc. (unless the share is held at the other house). The nanny will often do the child's laundry and tidying related to the child. Your nanny may become like family and integrate well with your day-to-day life.

The pros/cons of a share depend on how you set it up and where the kids are located, but has the benefit of being more economical and offering socialization. These are the two reasons we chose a share. However, you have to deal with the dynamics of another family/baby, which can be easy or not (in our case, it has been easy so far). Some nannies are good at balancing two kids/families, but not all are. We may further consider daycare when our baby is older, but we felt like the share offered a great compromise for when he is younger.

You mean a week with those daycare prices...

So sorry, yes, I meant a week with those prices!!!

[Anonymous]

The long post really hit a lot of what I would have said.

We just wrapped up our second share - we did one that didn't go great (though not terrible) that lasted 2-3 months, and then one that was AWESOME that went for over a year, until both couples started having 2nd babies and decided we each needed our own nanny.

Biggest difference between the two shares was the nanny. First was meh. Second was AMAZING. A great nanny is so awesome. The other difference was in hosting. The first share, the other family hosted, and they clearly did not have the temperament for it, nor did they have enough space. They were very protective of their space, wanted things like our pack and play packed up every day (what a pain) and made a lot of comments about "feeling like they lived in a daycare." They were nice people, I just think hosting wasn't a good fit for them.

For the second share, we hosted, and we really embraced it - play area for the kids, two high chairs. And it was great, I think for all of us. I would STRONGLY advise making sure the non-host baby has a separate place to sleep. One of the HUGE advantages to a nanny is a good nap routine/schedule, with naps in a quiet dark place. Don't give that up! Our son slept in his room, and we put black out curtains and a second sound machine in our bedroom, where the other family setup their pack and play. So the other baby had their own "room" during the day for naps, too.

We paid $24 per hour ($12 per family) for both our shares, these were both in DC. But we signed that last contract over a year ago - $25 or $26 per hour sounds about right now.

I will say that if you can swing 40 hours a week, at least downtown or close in DC, a nanny share is basically the same cost as daycare. We thought nannies were for rich people, but even with taxes and workers comp (you do need to have workers comp by law in DC), we paid about $2400 a month, all in. You do need to pay time and a half for overtime (any hours over 40) so that will bring up your costs dramatically. The daycare centers we looked at were all $2200-$2800. There weren't ANY cheaper options besides the federal ones that you can't get into unless you're a fed (and we're not), so for us at 40 hours a week, it was definitely a cost-effective option.

I don't see how you can share hosting duties. You need two of everything wherever the kids are - two high chairs, two sound machines, two places to sleep, a double stroller, so you end up, between the two of you, with three of a lot of things (two at the host families house, one at the other house). If you were going to switch back and forth, are you going to buy a fourth sound machine? A fourth highchair? Yet another pack n'play? A second double stroller? Or are you packing all that crap up all the time? No dice - pick a host family and stick with it.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP with the share where we are splitting time between each house. One of the things we have done to set ourselves up for success (we hope) is to have two of the important things at each house. This was actually not too difficult - both families already had a pack n play and a second sound machine and travel high chair. We definitely would not be carting these things back and forth. (Facebook marketplace is also a great place to find really cheap pack n plays, high chairs, etc.) Both houses also have a second separate and dedicated sleep space set up for the visiting baby, as well as a drawer for the other baby to store extra clothes, etc. Admittedly, it does feel a bit like daycare at our house every other week, but we also really enjoy having the babies at our home during that week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP with the share where we are splitting time between each house. One of the things we have done to set ourselves up for success (we hope) is to have two of the important things at each house. This was actually not too difficult - both families already had a pack n play and a second sound machine and travel high chair. We definitely would not be carting these things back and forth. (Facebook marketplace is also a great place to find really cheap pack n plays, high chairs, etc.) Both houses also have a second separate and dedicated sleep space set up for the visiting baby, as well as a drawer for the other baby to store extra clothes, etc. Admittedly, it does feel a bit like daycare at our house every other week, but we also really enjoy having the babies at our home during that week.

I've not slept enough. Edit to the above -- I am "the PP" not "the OP"!

[Anonymous]

I looked into nanny shares before hiring a personal nanny for my son. My biggest advice is to find a nearby family with a child about the same age as yours and figure out parenting styles, schedules, hosting, BEFORE you hire a nanny. While nannies are in high demand during the pandemic, this area is very transient and lots of shares experience transitions and need new families to join. So talk to your friends, your neighbors, etc and meet some other families in the same boat. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Please families with how expensive is everything in the area the salaries may vary nanny to nanny
Some asked less because there not legal to work and don't have experience good nannies with a lot of experience change 28dls per hour to 38 for 2 and parent remember what is the most important thing for you because some times you get what you pay don't wait for a good service went you are so cheap.

[Anonymous]

About $14-15hr per family
1.5x overtime rate for all hours over 40
10% of nanny's gross annual income in domestic employer taxes
$1500/yr for a tax/payroll service and workers comp policy
Additional costs- outings, double stroller, extra diaper bag, pack n play, second monitor, sound machine, etc

[Anonymous]

most nannies who can handle 2 babies at the same time will ask for more than $15 per hr per family. Some will think $15 per hr is a joke since you basically will be getting nanny care in your home while paying the same or even less price than for center care. As some pointed out, a nanny with experience gets $28 per hr with one baby.

[Anonymous]

The long post was a good summary. Id also advise being willing or at least able to float the nanny’s salary on your own for a few months if the other family bails for some reason. Even with a notice period in your contract, it can be hard to find a new family that’s a fit and then you could be without childcare.

[Anonymous]

PP, most nannies understand that if one family is leaving the rate is going to be a one child rate that should be negotiated in advance, until another family is found. Some nanny shares make $35-$45 per hr and do not expect that rate if by some reason one family leaves. They would have a single child rate then which in my area is $28-$30.