Guidelines for this Forum

[jsteele]

The purpose of this forum is to allow families that host Au Pairs or are considering hosting an Au Pair to exchange information. There are obviously some individuals that do not like the current Au Pair program that exists in the US. While that is a legitimate viewpoint and one worthy of discussion, it is not useful in this forum. Please have discussions of that sort in the "Off-Topic" forum within the Nanny Forums section:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/forums/show/58.page

In addition, please keep discussion in this forum respectful.

Posts that do not fit within the guidelines outlined above should be reported using the "report" button contained within each message.

Posts that are off-topic or disrespectful will be removed. Posters who repeatedly violate the guidelines will suffer additional repercussions as appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Just to clarify, only host or potential host parents are allowed to post in this forum? Thank you.

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Just to clarify, only host or potential host parents are allowed to post in this forum? Thank you.

We have no way of knowing who is a host parent and who is not. So, realistically, anyone can participate. But, the discussion topics should be those relevant to host families. If Au Pairs or former Au Pairs want to weigh in with their experiences, opinions, or suggestions, I'd think it might be helpful to many discussions as long as they stay on topic.

[Anonymous]

Thank you, Jeff.

[Anonymous]

Thank you!!

[Anonymous]

Why is this the only section of this forum that you protect? The other forums are out of control, yet this one, where they report you for any dissent or disagreement, you give in to their whining?

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this the only section of this forum that you protect?

The answer to this question is this:

Anonymous wrote:this one, where they report you for any dissent or disagreement, you give in to their whining?

I don't set guidelines. I enforce guidelines that the community wants. If you want other forums to be monitored more closely, report posts that you believe are inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this the only section of this forum that you protect? The other forums are out of control, yet this one, where they report you for any dissent or disagreement, you give in to their whining?

It's not "dissent and disagreement" - it's purposefully and without adding anything sabotaging every thread and it is making this forum totally useless. Everyone's welcome to their opinion, and I for one, would LOVE if the au pair's side of things were added here or even informed people disagreeing with the program entirely adding their opinions when relevant to the discussion. As it stands, every single post, regardless of topic, ends in a back-and-forth between poster(s) adding actual facts and experiences and poster(s) who ignore what others are posting and just scream "abuse!" and "end the program!" regardless of what's said by the other side.

It would be like if by the third response on every single thread in the General Parenting forum was "you shouldn't have children anyway - we're overpopulating the earth and children can be abused!!" over and over and over. Soon, no one would post there either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this the only section of this forum that you protect? The other forums are out of control, yet this one, where they report you for any dissent or disagreement, you give in to their whining?

You are mis-categorizing your behavior in prior threads. Dissent, disagreement, and differing opinions are welcome - the rematch thread got mostly "rematch!" advice but one person said, well maybe try one more talk before going for rematch. That one person's alternative perspective was useful and helpful and remains. But replying with "you're just abusing your AP anyway" is not helpful or on topic. More importantly, when it's posted over & over again, it constitutes spam. If you have problems with the AP program overall, then be specific about what you think needs to be fixed. That would actually be a helpful discussion to have if you went about it in a constructive way. I'd love to hear what's not working, how HFs can better support their APs, but to just take up "the Au Pair program is abusive!" as a slogan with no substance behind it (and we have asked, you declined to elaborate) - it detracts the purpose of the forum.

[Anonymous]

Hi Jeff, I have been on this site for 10
Years. Crazy! I think your new rules are a mistake. Who cares what a couple of
Crazy Posters want to say. Let them have their say and we can ignore.

Peace

[Anonymous]

Thank you for this! I really wanted to stop reading here and posting/responding because of how many threads were derailed by people who weren't adding to the discussion, just flat out trolling.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

It's absolutely amazing how much more productive this list is now!

[Anonymous]

These guidelines helped out for the first few months - thank you for giving us some structure. It has been also been successful in reducing the nastiness, but the "debate" over whether the program should even exist continues to overwhelm the board and prevent other topics from getting proper consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These guidelines helped out for the first few months - thank you for giving us some structure. It has been also been successful in reducing the nastiness, but the "debate" over whether the program should even exist continues to overwhelm the board and prevent other topics from getting proper consideration.

I just came on here to say the same thing. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These guidelines helped out for the first few months - thank you for giving us some structure. It has been also been successful in reducing the nastiness, but the "debate" over whether the program should even exist continues to overwhelm the board and prevent other topics from getting proper consideration.

I just came on here to say the same thing. Thank you.

+ 1. It's a little out of control.