Nannies - do you pretend your charges are your own when out and about?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, I am a mother of a beautiful 8 month old baby girl. We had a Nanny come on board to help us out 2 days per week when my daughter was 4 months old while my husband and I are at work. She has been wonderful and I have been nothing but pleasantly surprised by her.

One thing I was just wondering though if what I experienced this morning is normal. Our Nanny called in with car trouble this morning which was no big deal and I told her to take the day to sort it out and I called into work and took the day off. Our Nanny takes our daughter to a baby music class each week and on the phone she was almost insisting we skip it this week for various reasons but I couldn't see any reason not to go, so I went.

Anyway, very long story short it appears that our Nanny has been telling serious lies to this group of mothers. At first it was very awkward as I had to explain myself a few times because our Nanny had been answering to my name and introducing herself as me the entire term. I had paid online for the class so had given my name which apparently all these mothers were calling her for weeks.

Apparently she has been using my husbands name as her husband, saying she has 3 other children at school and that she lives in our suburb etc etc she told these mother all these stories about her family and even got into details about her 4 births!

I can fully understand if someone makes a comment in passing then maybe you wont explain that you are the childs Nanny but to go to these lengths?

My husband is really angry about it and says I must call her and discuss.

Do Nannies do this? Is it normal?

[Anonymous]

Okay, I am not really one to call troll but this seems far fetched. Especially you asking if this is normal. Of course it's not normal. I have never pretended my charges were my own. If someone compliments me on them or says they are cute, I say I can't take the credit - they aren't mine but thank you.

I mean if this really happened, you have no choice but to fire the nanny immediately. She sounds crazy and I wouldn't trust her with my kids.

[Anonymous]

If you are not a troll, you need to fire this girl. There may some serious mental health issues going on.

[Anonymous]

I did not know I was going to have to defend myself. I am not a troll. I was after some advice and I too am coming to terms with this, my mind is working overtime thinking of what might be going on. I did not want to come accross as aggresive towards our Nanny in my question.

My thoughts are perhaps she began innocently enough and got caught up in it and I don't want to now turn around and label her as a crazy person.

[Anonymous]

No, this is not normal. Sometimes, it is easier to pretend my charges are mine when someone says "oh your kids are so cute" and I'll just say "thanks!" as it's easier then constantly explaining I am the nanny but no, I would never pretend to have my bosses name, give birth details, etc. You need to fire her.

[Anonymous]

Ok. I am beginning to see that I have to do that. It is tricky as she was introduced to us by a friend. She is 10 years older than me and has nannied for years and years. This is perhaps something she has always done. Maybe it is like a fantasy world for her.

Would calling her to let her go today be the wrong thing to do or given the circumstances would it be ok? I've never let someone go before.

[Anonymous]

Well one question is you said she called out today. It's Sunday - does she usually work Sundays? So both you and your husband work Sundays? That is kind of odd. In any case, to answer your question, I would not let her be alone with my kids. So you can let her go over the phone, or speak with her in person next time to comes to work. Just make sure you pay her for any owed hours and get back your keys and change your alarm/garage codes if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, this is not normal. Sometimes, it is easier to pretend my charges are mine when someone says "oh your kids are so cute" and I'll just say "thanks!" as it's easier then constantly explaining I am the nanny but no, I would never pretend to have my bosses name, give birth details, etc. You need to fire her.

+1
This is unbelievable. She uses your name, your husbands name, and pretends to live in your home and be mom to all of your children? That is beyond creepy. This cannot be real.

[Anonymous]

It's not normal. It could have started innocently enough but if she's using your husbands name as hers, and making up birthing stories, that crosses the line of an innocent mix up and just rolling w/ it until the end of the term. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

When out at parks or similar outings if someone says something about them being mine I will usually correct them if they just say your kids are cute I say thanks and continue on. At music classes or mommy and me classes I always use MY nane and say I'm the nanny.

She needs to be fired, I wouldn't allow her to care for my children even one more time. This sounds like the movie " the hand that rocks the cradle"

[Anonymous]

Next she will be breast feeding her like the movie The hand that rocks the cradle. Too weird for my taste!

[Anonymous]

Wow are you people really falling for this? You people will believe anything online. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Troll. Entertaining herself or himself!

[Anonymous]

Even if it's a troll it's something to comment on. Some troll posts are the best to read and most entertaining.

Why do people hate troll posts? Without them there would be very little to read on dcum

[Anonymous]

Even if it's a troll it's something to comment on. Some troll posts are the best to read and most entertaining.

Why do people hate troll posts? Without them there would be very little to read on dcum

There are a few problems with troll posts.

1. They paint a false picture of the nanny/MB experience. Newcomers here might actually believe the insane claims of a troll post and either decline to hire a nanny or be totally paranoid about their nannies. This damages both nannies and families.

2. They lie about important things about rates, duties and compensation packages, which can unfairly exploit both nannies and families.

3. They manipulate people. Posters read about some crazy troll situation and they feel bad about a situation they don't know is fake. So they spend time and energy researching or thinking of great advice...only to be played by a troll. That's mean and destroys the credibility of anyone with a real problem. I don't even take seriously any of the postings here because they are so often trolls and I'm so disgusted by how they reflect on the nanny profession that I would never hire a nanny from here.

4. Very few MBs actually post here. Nannies always post outlandish stories and call themselves MBs, thus giving the nannies here another way to bully each other and any potential family that might make the mistake of coming here for actual, thoughtful feedback.

Trolls are mean, mean girls who exist merely to cause trouble. That's the problem with troll posts.