Blond au pair in charge of small twin boys (18 mos?) at Tyson's Corner B&N yesterday

[Anonymous]

If you are a host mother and this description fits your au pair, please be on notice that while your young sons were playing at the Barnes and Noble train set up yesterday (and one took a toy from another young child, causing much tears and screaming), your au pair not only failed to intervene -- but she failed to even look up from her phone where she was texting for 20 minutes solid. As an outsider (and host mom), I was unimpressed, and even a bit worried about whether this particular au pair gives a rats patootie about her charges. I know this is just one instant I saw. Perhaps she is a wonderful au pair who was having a family emergency, or there is some other good reason for her actions. But I thought I should post. If you think this is your au pair, you might want to take a closer look at what she is doing.

P.S. No, I am not a disgruntled nanny trying to bash all au pairs. I am a host mom and have had great success with the au pair program, but this one caught my eye. These kids are very young, and in my view, need someone who is engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are a host mother and this description fits your au pair, please be on notice that while your young sons were playing at the Barnes and Noble train set up yesterday (and one took a toy from another young child, causing much tears and screaming), your au pair not only failed to intervene -- but she failed to even look up from her phone where she was texting for 20 minutes solid. As an outsider (and host mom), I was unimpressed, and even a bit worried about whether this particular au pair gives a rats patootie about her charges. I know this is just one instant I saw. Perhaps she is a wonderful au pair who was having a family emergency, or there is some other good reason for her actions. But I thought I should post. If you think this is your au pair, you might want to take a closer look at what she is doing.

P.S. No, I am not a disgruntled nanny trying to bash all au pairs. I am a host mom and have had great success with the au pair program, but this one caught my eye. These kids are very young, and in my view, need someone who is engaged.

What did you say to the au pair, OP?

[Anonymous]

Nothing. It wasn't my au pair, wasn't my kids, and no one was getting physically hurt.

[Anonymous]

OP. I'm another host mom and I thank you for your fair and thorough posting. I would want someone to let me know if they saw my au pair texting for 20 minutes straight while out in a public place.

[Anonymous]

+1 I hope more caring adults that witness questionable conduct let alone abusive will speak out and warn parents. Thank you for caring enough to post.

[Anonymous]

Why couldn't you say "hi, I think that little boy is with you and he seems upset"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why couldn't you say "hi, I think that little boy is with you and he seems upset"

I had the same question for OP, assuming she's telling the truth. Why wouldn't she say anything at all? Seems suspicious.

[Anonymous]

I usually think it's great when people post these things, but I'm not sure that two children playing with trains, in a safe location, with 1 age appropriate misbehavior in 20 minutes, is a crisis.

How do you know it was an au pair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually think it's great when people post these things, but I'm not sure that two children playing with trains, in a safe location, with 1 age appropriate misbehavior in 20 minutes, is a crisis.

How do you know it was an au pair?

Exactly. How do you know, it wasn't a teen mom?

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for posting. This is DCUM, so you won't be surprised by "special interest" who have a lot to lose if more people come forward with info. about abusive au pairs. As a parent I hope more people come forward and aren't bullied by the DCUM mean brigade.

[Anonymous]

There's no chance it was a lax au pair, right? They don't exist. Probably a teen mom or something.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Seriously, I have no axe to grind. As a host mom for many years, I think this was an au pair. Call it a gut feeling. If I'm wrong, and its a teen mom who thinks she handled everything fine-- she is free to ignore my post.

The reason I didn't say anything is it really was none of my business. You're right- the behavior was age appropriate, and they were in a confined and controlled environment-- so they really weren't at risk in any way.

But they were also a mere 6 feet from the au pair, and causing enough of a disturbance that she 1) should have noticed; and 2) should have inserted herself. That's just my opinion, although it doesn't have to be yours. Honestly, she gave off a vibe (most of which came from completely ignoring here charges and this small problem) like she could care less. That was concerning to me. If someone saw my au pair acting like that, I would want someone to post-- so that's what I did.

[Anonymous]

Oh- and to clarify-- it wasn't one of her charges who got upset. One of her charges upset another little boy, whose mother was intervening with him. If it had been her charge, and no one else around, I probably would've just said- "oh, is he with you?".

[Anonymous]

OP are you sure you have no axe to grind?

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/nanny-forum/posts/list/278065.page

These posts are very similar and they supposedly happened on the same day and both posts refer to a 'foreign blond' childcare giver. Both areas are fairly close in (or near) the pentagon city area.

I may be jumping to conclusions but I just thought the similarities were strange. As if you're out to get a foreign blond nanny/Au Pair.

[Anonymous]

^^ I'm not the OP or the poster of the other thread you've mentioned, but I have to say there is a trend of uncaring unprofessional au pairs right now and people aren't putting up with it anymore. So, OP and others are doing their part to make positive changes to the program- reporting suspicious activity that they've witnessed. I will do the same. Until parents, other au pairs, passerby, etc... make clear that abusive, uncaring conduct will not be tolerated, au pair agencies will not do their part to make sure they're screening the best candidates for the job of caring for children. The children are getting the short end of the stick. It's so common now to have an incompetent au pair treating kids poorly in public that I'm surprised I don't see more warnings. Maybe this is the beginning of a trend. Sad, really.