Essential Proceedures

[Anonymous]

Nannies must insist on regular reference letters at least every six months, if not every three months. You never know how your trusted family will suddenly turn evil and vindictive when you give notice. If they seem hesitant, there's your red flag. RUN!

[Anonymous]

Every 3 months is overkill. Every 6 months is reasonable but I think that it should be seen as an evaluation instead of a reference. The parents should have no problem giving a written evaluation, but they should be able to include both negative and positive behaviors in it.

[Anonymous]

^^ and I'm a nanny

[Anonymous]

Sure. It all depends how much they want the nanny to stay, in servitude. The word "reference" dictates neither positive, nor negative. However, I must say, that if I wasn't assured that a family wasn't totally thrilled with my services, I'd be inclined to move on. I'm used to people raving about my work, doctors and all. It goes without saying that I do a knock-out job. I'm a raging perfectionist when it comes to the quality of my work. What can I say?

[Anonymous]

When people are asked to give a reference they often feel an obligation to make it completely positive, even if they do have complaints about the nanny. If a current employer gave a nanny a negative reference it would likely hurt their relationship and the nanny may retaliate (possibly by leaving). I think by calling it an evaluation it better allows employers to be honest rather than to just give a bunch of empty compliments.

[Anonymous]

Would MB's accept a recent evaluation in place of a current reference if the nanny isn't prepared for them to know she is looking?

[Anonymous]

An evaluation is an employment tool to promote growth. Typically, it should include a few specific strengths, a few specific weaknesses, and goals to work on for the upcoming period. Employees should not expect an entirely positive evaluation. Having new areas for growth does not mean that you are a bad employee that needs to be looking for a new position.

A letter of recommendation, on the other hand, is a very different document. This is one employer recommending that another hire you. You should complete your employment (meaning leave on good terms) to get one.

So sorry to interrupt your lalah land dreams, but "insist on regular reference letters at least every six months, if not every three months" is not an essential procedure. It's a red flag that someone is not planning to leave on terms that will result in an honest recommendation that they should be hired elsewhere, so she needs to have a canned recommendation in her back pocket.

[Anonymous]

My MBs have always agreed to compose regular letters of reference.

My college roommate just hired her first nanny, on the basis of several letters of reference - the referenced jobs were so long ago she didn't feel compelled to call (although she did, at my insistence), but rather felt the letters had been written at the time of her service and adequately reflected the nanny's qualities and abilities.

[Anonymous]

I can understand why a nanny would want regular letters of recommendation. Lots of MBs turn bitter and nasty the second a nanny puts her notice in. Even if a nanny were on wonderful terms with the family up until she put her notice in, there are many MBs who would still not be a good reference. This is not fair and it has resulted in nannies feeling the need to get regular letters of recommendation.

I can understand having one letter of recommendation on file and asking for a new one every year. You can let the family know that it is for evening and weekend work.

[Anonymous]

Any family who seemed unwanting to write regular reference letters, is a RED flag.

They should behave honestly and share their reservations with the nanny.

Such situations are unlikely to turn out well.

[Anonymous]

So honestly what would make an MB comfortable but also protects a nanny from parents who turn the second she gives notice? You all can't possibly believe that this is not a regular occurrence? What would you have us to do?

[Anonymous]

I don't know the answer to this dilemma, but as a mb, I have to say i dont pay much attention to written reference letter. It's too easy to fake. For us, if we couldn't talk to the reference in person, it wasn't really a reference.

[Anonymous]

Of course you follow-up with phone calls. Every one knows that's part of your job, to do your due diligence. Thought you already knew that, but maybe you're new here?

[Anonymous]

10:06 here. You don't seem to be following. The concern of the OP is having a reference letter in hand in case the former boss is unwilling to provide aa good phone reference. In my opinion, a paper reference without a good in person reference is not useful. So I wouldn't spend too much effort to maintain one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:06 here. You don't seem to be following. The concern of the OP is having a reference letter in hand in case the former boss is unwilling to provide aa good phone reference. In my opinion, a paper reference without a good in person reference is not useful. So I wouldn't spend too much effort to maintain one.

Okay, you said the same thing every MB says but what is a nanny supposed to do? She could be freakin nanny poppins, but the parents change their opinion of her when she gives notice and they realize she wasn't eternally devoted to their precious offspring. Its happens SO OFTEN! Its not hard for a bitter former boss to lie when you ask them about your prospective nanny. What to you suggest we do, since reference letters every 6 months apparently don't count, and evaluations don't count unless they can be followed with a positive in-person reference?