Au Pair Food Issues

[Anonymous]

Isn't she supposed to eat what she prefers to? Berries are inexpensive in Europe and maybe she is used to have them by buckets in summer, and does not realize they are $$ here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you say you were vegetarian at the interview? She never eats a meal with you ?

Yes of course we brought this up on the interview. She prefers to cook for herself. And no, she doesn’t eat meals with us unless we take her out. She eats at 10 pm, we eat with our kids at 5:30/6.

Anyway, we’ll try offering her a food budget for her to buy/use what she wants, and have an honest conversation about this.

If she had told me this at the interview I wouldn’t have hired her. We’re all in bed at 10pm,

[Anonymous]

$75 a week is crazy low.
Maybe 200 a week?

We hosted males and females and the males are with us and was easily another 150 a week in food before the crazy prices.

Get real op.

[Anonymous]

Oh man, I see the ap’s have entered the chat. I spend 250 -300/week for a family of 5 + AP (so 6). No way am I giving the AP 200 for herself. There’s economy of scale in making one meal for everyone. Of course I don’t require my Ap to eat with us, but she usually does.

I have the same problem, OP. Mine asks for the same 4 things but then eats things I have earmarked for a meal of whatever. It’s super frustrating. Mine also never hesitates to eat the last of anything or eat the specific items bought for my allergy kid. She also won’t use the last of anything - so if there’s not enough pb or yogurt for a serving, she opens a new one but also leaves the old one in the fridge/pantry.

These girls are self centered and entitled. You just have to tell her - I’m happy to buy x, but please don’t use y. Or, if you are planning to use y, please let me know so I buy more. I was super explicit with this AP when she arrived about the fact that I go to the store once a week and that’s it. This is an American thing, I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I see the ap’s have entered the chat. I spend 250 -300/week for a family of 5 + AP (so 6). No way am I giving the AP 200 for herself. There’s economy of scale in making one meal for everyone. Of course I don’t require my Ap to eat with us, but she usually does.

I have the same problem, OP. Mine asks for the same 4 things but then eats things I have earmarked for a meal of whatever. It’s super frustrating. Mine also never hesitates to eat the last of anything or eat the specific items bought for my allergy kid. She also won’t use the last of anything - so if there’s not enough pb or yogurt for a serving, she opens a new one but also leaves the old one in the fridge/pantry.

These girls are self centered and entitled. You just have to tell her - I’m happy to buy x, but please don’t use y. Or, if you are planning to use y, please let me know so I buy more. I was super explicit with this AP when she arrived about the fact that I go to the store once a week and that’s it. This is an American thing, I think.

Why are you part of the program then? We've been hosting for 8 years now and never experienced the issues that you and the OP are describing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$75 a week is crazy low.
Maybe 200 a week?

We hosted males and females and the males are with us and was easily another 150 a week in food before the crazy prices.

Get real op.

Yeah you're nuts. My husband is a hobby bodybuilder and eats massive quantities of meat, avocados, and berries. He buys meat from the butcher (granted the butcher is not expensive, though not cheap either), and he doesn't spend this much per week total on groceries.

[Anonymous]

We have had a similar problem with smoothies in the past. They just take a huge amount of fresh produce and I can’t go to the store that often. We have told the au pairs that we have lots of frozen fruit and greens and that is what they should use to make smoothies. Frozen actually has more nutrients and you can stock a wider variety. Fresh fruits and vegetables are for eating raw or for cooking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would give her $75 a week for food.

A week or a day ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would give her $75 a week for food.

A week or a day ?

You're joking right?

75/day on food?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I see the ap’s have entered the chat. I spend 250 -300/week for a family of 5 + AP (so 6). No way am I giving the AP 200 for herself. There’s economy of scale in making one meal for everyone. Of course I don’t require my Ap to eat with us, but she usually does.

I have the same problem, OP. Mine asks for the same 4 things but then eats things I have earmarked for a meal of whatever. It’s super frustrating. Mine also never hesitates to eat the last of anything or eat the specific items bought for my allergy kid. She also won’t use the last of anything - so if there’s not enough pb or yogurt for a serving, she opens a new one but also leaves the old one in the fridge/pantry.

These girls are self centered and entitled. You just have to tell her - I’m happy to buy x, but please don’t use y. Or, if you are planning to use y, please let me know so I buy more. I was super explicit with this AP when she arrived about the fact that I go to the store once a week and that’s it. This is an American thing, I think.

So she eats the last of anything...but won't eat the last of anything?

[Anonymous]

We had a similar problem. I go to the store several times per week and am happy to buy our au pairs whatever they want. I am also happy to give them money to buy their own food (as long as a it's from a grocery store, not restaurant food). Still, sometimes this doesn't work.

We had one once that would drink all the milk, like over a gallon a day. I didn't mind buying extra, but just did not plan for how much she drank and was frustrated when there would be no milk for our kids' for cereal the next day. Also, I'd do things like cut the stems off a bowl of strawberries, or cut up a cantaloupe, and she'd eat the whole bowl. I wouldn't have minded if she'd taken a few berries or even a substantial amount, but many times she would eat the whole thing. I felt like I'd spent my time preparing food for my kids, and it wasn't available when they were ready for it. It felt like she was one of my kids instead of the person who was supposed to help me with the kids. She was hugely spoiled and had no sense of common courtesy.

I agree with the poster who said to ask her what she wants, and then give her her own shelf in the fridge. When possible, buy a different brand for her so the lines are even more clear. In the milk example, I bought our au pair a different brand of milk versus what I usually bought for our family. I didn't mind buying a lot of it for her, but wanted to ensure that no matter how much she drank, we still had enough for cereal the next day. Or, I'd buy her a box of strawberries and leave it on her shelf, but it would be up to her to cut off the stems if she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a vegetarian household with an au pair who loves meat. Every week we ask her what groceries she wants and she only ever asks for meat and rice. She cooks only for herself (she doesn’t eat vegetarian food I make and doesn’t cook for my kids), and has started making these elaborate meals and smoothies using up all the fruits, veggies, lemons, etc. in the house. For weeks I’ve been getting extra fruits and veggies (and often different things from weeks prior) and she just adds more and more to her smoothies and meals. I often go to cook for the kids and I’m forced to run to the store to pick up things for meals I’ve planned because stuff I expect to be in my fridge isn’t there. We asked her to make a list of the fruits/veggies she wants so we can get stuff for her without running out of stuff for the kids (and ourselves!) but every week it’s the same ask: pork or chicken and rice. It’s getting really out of hand. Has anyone encountered this? What do I do?

She only asks for meat and rice because everything else is in the fridge. She may think because you're vegetarian you were asking her for things you wouldn't eat but she would. Sounds like a miscommunication. I would just talk to her and tell her you need a complete list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I see the ap’s have entered the chat. I spend 250 -300/week for a family of 5 + AP (so 6). No way am I giving the AP 200 for herself. There’s economy of scale in making one meal for everyone. Of course I don’t require my Ap to eat with us, but she usually does.

I have the same problem, OP. Mine asks for the same 4 things but then eats things I have earmarked for a meal of whatever. It’s super frustrating. Mine also never hesitates to eat the last of anything or eat the specific items bought for my allergy kid. She also won’t use the last of anything - so if there’s not enough pb or yogurt for a serving, she opens a new one but also leaves the old one in the fridge/pantry. [i]

These girls are self centered and entitled. You just have to tell her - I’m happy to buy x, but please don’t use y. Or, if you are planning to use y, please let me know so I buy more. I was super explicit with this AP when she arrived about the fact that I go to the store once a week and that’s it. This is an American thing, I think.

haha my Latino husband does this.... and its really annoying. But no hes not self centered or entitled. I think they absolutely try to get everything out of the thing thats left over, but not sure why they open the new one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh man, I see the ap’s have entered the chat. I spend 250 -300/week for a family of 5 + AP (so 6). No way am I giving the AP 200 for herself. There’s economy of scale in making one meal for everyone. Of course I don’t require my Ap to eat with us, but she usually does.

I have the same problem, OP. Mine asks for the same 4 things but then eats things I have earmarked for a meal of whatever. It’s super frustrating. Mine also never hesitates to eat the last of anything or eat the specific items bought for my allergy kid. She also won’t use the last of anything - so if there’s not enough pb or yogurt for a serving, she opens a new one but also leaves the old one in the fridge/pantry. [i]

These girls are self centered and entitled. You just have to tell her - I’m happy to buy x, but please don’t use y. Or, if you are planning to use y, please let me know so I buy more. I was super explicit with this AP when she arrived about the fact that I go to the store once a week and that’s it. This is an American thing, I think.

haha my Latino husband does this.... and its really annoying. But no hes not self centered or entitled. I think they absolutely try to get everything out of the thing thats left over, but not sure why they open the new one!

Nope, pretty sure your “Latino husband” is self-centered and entitled if he does this.

[Anonymous]

AP eats what we eat. We provide 3 meals a day and give a small supplementary stipend. If you don't like our food, that's on you. When I did study abroad, that's the way it worked for me with my host family in Madrid.

if you don't like it, you shouldn't have said yes to everything when I went through a detailed discussion on diet and food with you during interviews.