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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Reply to "Yes. Your Kid is overscheduled."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, overscheduling isn't about telling the kid no. It is about polishing the parent's ego. Look at me, my kid is doing more than yours. Or the parent doesn't know how to have a relationship with their own child, and so it's easier to keep the kid occupied so the parent can hand the kid off to someone else. That is bottom line what it is about for these "overscheduling" parents. It isn't about the kid at all, it is all about whatever is going on with the parent underneath the surface.[/quote] Is this how you rationalize doing very little. I would not choose the activities mine are in. It’s 100% them and if they had time they’d do more. I have very strong relationships and they know they always come first. Not encouraging your kids interests is the ultimate bad parenting. There are lots of low cost programs or one with scholarships now so money is an excuse. [/quote] All of this. So many parents groan when they hear how busy my DD is ([b]by her choice[/b]) ... but it's always like "oh I could never" or "that sounds awful to have to drive her there" and so on. It's so self serving and I don't think they realize it's telling me all I need to know about their parenting. I always respond "sure, it's not fun for me, but she loves it and that's what matters to me"[/quote] You are setting your kid up to be a bad parent if you give in to all the demands for activities because it sets an example of extreme behavior. Martyrs are not role models. Good parents set reasonable limits. Good parents also resist the keeping up with the Joneses mentality. And as a former tutor, I have seen that the kids who struggle the most in school are the ones who are signed up for [i]excessive[/i] actvities, leaving no time for adequate rest and study. One sport plus one instrument is fine for a kid who goes to normal school. What do kids really gain from 6 hrs of school plus 2 sports plus 1 instrument plus 1 foreign language plus children's theater etc.? Youd be better off homeschooling if you think the enrichment activities are as important as (or more important than) the 3 Rs.[/quote] That's what I was saying. It doesn't hurt a kid to hear no and it helps kids hace a better balance.[/quote]
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