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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Blended Family; Polar Opposite Kids"
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[quote=Anonymous]I just wanted to add that this is not about blended families. I have twins. One is very smart, GT track for classes (twin B). The other twin (twin A) is more athletic and artistic and is a smart regular track student. Twin A spent their younger years trying to compete with twin B academically, and took umbrage when he was not selected for GT tracking classes, when twin was. But as we traversed elementary and now middle school, twin A has achieved a bit more musically and artistically. They both excelled at scouting in different ways. The point is that this has nothing to do with blending families. Bio families still can and do struggle with children of different capabilities. For us, the solution has been to look for areas where the less academically gifted child has talent and skills and try to find ways for them the achieve outside of academics. We got them more active in scouting in large part because they both excelled there and were drawn to different areas where they both achieved. It actually created a bit more bonding because they complemented each other skill-wise and made them value their diversity. We found art competitions and music/band because twin A achieved there. So, while twin B has academic achievements, we found interests and skills that A had and we urged him to participate in those activities where he shone. It's a bit late, but you need to help your step-son work to find areas where he can excel. And they don't have to be school related. If he likes video games, does he like Youtubing? If he is shy on camera, look into Toastmasters or speech/debate or theater where he can get skills that will help him be better at public speaking or presentation and then he might be interested in on-line gaming/webcasting. That's a big thing now. Twin A loves videogaming and has been actively gearing himself up toward being able to Youtube whenever I'll let him get an account (I've told him we have to wait another couple of years before he can be a Youtuber, but he narrates all his game play now and focuses on how to present for recording). The key is not to make the disparities the elephant in the room, and not to focus on what your step-son doesn't do or isn't as good at, but to turn it around and look for areas where he has talents or interests and just highlight them for him. Give him the opportunities to do things he likes and is good at without worrying about what his step-brother is already good at and he is not.[/quote]
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