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Reply to "Please help me not hate my adult stepson"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I feel for you. His fb comments alone are so hurtful. Obviously his dad is parenting from guilt, which is such a self-indulgent emotion. It certainly isn't good for your stepson, but I don't know how/if you'll be able to change their dynamic. Counseling, maybe, to help you and DH get on the same page about him? The only thing I don't really get about your post is that you seem to expect your stepson to show interest and affection toward your new baby. I don't know that I'd expect that from a person his age - yeah, it would be nice if he wanted to hold your baby, etc but I wouldn't really be disappointed if he didn't. Young adults are notoriously self-centered and that's ok, it's part of growing up.[/quote] OP here, thanks for the empathy and kindness. And yeah, I definitely had sown unrealistic hopes about the baby. Just hopes that he thought a little brother might be cute and cool. Even had the tiny insane hope that being a big brother to someone else might mature him. I even bought a couple of cute onesies like, "Handsome like my big brother!" just so he's know I was thinking of him too and including him in new baby stuff, not just my kid. I thought with him living here just as the baby was coming home, he might even get a little attached, or feel protective. But I'm not surprised he didn't. I do feel for him...it's hard to be your dad's whole world and then have your dad start loving a new person. And now have your dad have a whole new child!!!! If he asntnsuch an entitled jerk, my heart would kinda be breaking for him, because it's hard to be so old and be faced with the reality that you're not te center is everyone's world. It's rough for him.[/quote]
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