Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Need advice dealing with angry, bitter wife."
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your post could have described me, at times, minus the telling my children I don't love them. I think your wife is depressed, not "chemically imbalanced." I have suffered from depression for years, and it was worsened post-partum. I can recommend someone if you are interested. [/quote] Depression IS a chemical imbalance. It might not help to describe it that way to the wife, because when OP says "chemical imbalance," OP's wife may be hearing "you are unbalanced (meaning crazy)," not exactly the message that is going to get one into therapy. OP. I have been here. I have some recommendations -- 1) visit www.bpso.org and sign up for the listserv and look at other information about bipolar on there. 2) Also, you and your daughter should consider taking the course "Family to Family" which is offered by the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, specifically for family members who have a loved one with mental illness. 3) Buy Xavier Amador's book "I'm not Sick, I Don't Need Help," which can help you think about more productive ways to talk with your wife about getting help and Francis Mondimore's book on Bipolar is really helpful if you think it really is bipolar, and 4) find and consult your own PhD pyschologist who specializes in mood disorders. Tell him/her about your wife and her anger and your relationship and seek help -- both help for yourself in deciding how to manage and help in sorting out what is likely bothering your wife and how to get her help. I don't recommend "couples counseling" or "family counseling" for a couple/family where one person likely has a mood disorder; it is counterproductive. When the ill person participates in couples or family counseling but they remain unmedicated, they really don't have the kind of rational thought process necessary to profit from couples/family therapy. BUT, you can set an example for your wife by saying, "we don't seem to have a happy relationship now, and I love you and am getting help for my self to try and do my part to set our relationship back on track." Your daughter could likely need an outlet with a professional who can explain to her about general depression/post partum depression and bipolar depression and help your daughter separate and disconnect from the nasty behavior your wife is exhibiting and understand that it is the illness talking, although the NAMI course or support group could serve this purpose as well. Does your wife have other symptoms? Is she going to sleep and getting up at regular hours? Does she have periods of increased energy/task orientation? How is your sex life? Does she have some periods of increased sexuality and others where she withdraws? You mentioned paranoia, how is she exhibiting this? Does she have periods of poor impulse control (increased spending, overdrafts, purchases, big plans, etc.) Is she delusional at all? Delusional doesn't have to be "I see Jesus" but it can be a milder form of not really fully in touch with reality. Bipolar depression needs periods of mania and depression, although the mania can often be dysphoric instead of euphoric. It is important to differentiate between general depression and bipolar depression. That is because general depression is treated with anti-depressants which can often worsen bipolar depression, which is better treated with a mood stabilizer (like lithium or depakote). Although, there is some evidence now which suggests that those with repeated episodes of depression but no mania, may also benefit from a mood stabilizer. Agree with a PP who suggested that a wise doc may be able to get your wife to take a med by describing an alternate use (like prescribing the mood stabilizer "seroquel" to help with sleep instead of saying you need to take the seroquel because you have a mental illness). GPs are generally NOT very well qualified to treat and diagnose serious mood disorders, so I would exercise a great deal of oversight if you are encouraging the GP to deal with this ....[/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics