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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Need advice dealing with angry, bitter wife."
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[quote=Anonymous]I am at my wits end. Let me first say that I love my wife. We have three kids together and have been together for almost 20 years. We have two young children and a college bound daughter. When my wife was pregnant with the second child, her personality began to change. Her moods went from loving sweet to bitter, paranoid and lots of anger. I wrote it off as normal pregnancy mood swings. By the 9th month I wasn’t sure our marriage was going to make it. She was continually threatening to divorce me. Her bitter moods and anger continued until about the time she stopped breast feeding and then things slowly got better. A year and a half later we had one more. During that pregnancy, things started to get bad again. I told her that she needed to see the doctor about her mood swings. She got very angry with me insisting that it was ALL me. I found out later she did go to the doctor and got medication but she said she wasn’t taking it out of fear of harming the baby. Maybe she did, I really don’t know. Things weren’t as bad as the previous pregnancy and we persevered. Fast forward three years later. My wife is like two different people. One I know and love and one so mean, bitter and angry it actually scares me. I never know who is going to walk through the door. Some days I actually shutter and begin to shake when the mean/angry/bitter one comes home. It seems to be stress driven, whether from work or the children. She has a hard time dealing with the challenges of two young kids. Everything gets channeled to me in the form of anger, bitterness and being really mean. I honestly feel that she has a chemical imbalance. I have mentioning this to her and she gets defensive and angry. She accuses me of playing head games with her and insist that [u]I [/u]am the problem. Our college bound daughter is also caught up in this and sees everything I do. She thinks her mom is bipolar. They fight constantly to the point our daughter will lock herself in her room sobbing. My wife has told our daughter numerous times during her mean episodes that she doesn’t love her. I feel like I can take the abuse but our daughter has a much harder time. She gets so mean it is hard to describe. This is tearing me to pieces. I love my children dearly and have a great relationship with all of them. We have a nice house and are financially secure. A few days ago, out of the blue my wife started a fight and then accused me of some horrible stuff. I got really mad and yelled back (I have a hard time keeping everything bottled up). Now my wife is insisting on a divorce. She is obviously not happy. She refuses to accept that she has something medically wrong with her. Even with all of this I still love her. We have been through a lot and I want to save the marriage. Even though things are bad, the thought of breaking up the family and the hurt it would cause to the children hurts me so bad I am willing to do whatever I have to do to save the marriage. But some days, I just want to cry. How do I get my wife to seek medical treatment? [/quote]
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