Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
College and University Discussion
Reply to "Do Some TJ Students have somewhat of a disadvantage when applying to college?"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are raising a generation of children to feel that they are "victims" of some system, and this unhealthily teaches them to (at least psychologically) pit themselves against one another like some sort of runaway gladiator games. I always try to teach my children to work the very hardest that they can, to accept that sometimes even your hardest work and effort will not bring your desired result, and to understand that putting/pulling someone else down does not build you up. It is really negative for our children to think that I did not get what I worked for because (to post some recent examples on this forum). . . [I am a young woman; I am Asian; I attend TJ, Walt Whitman, or Sidwell; I am not an athlete; I am not wealthy; I am not a minority; I am not a legacy]. I always remind my children that the relative (and large) advantage that they have been given by being raised in an upper-middle class family, educated in an excellent public school district; with the ability to afford tutoring (when necessary) and test prep; and parents who have been supportive and involved in their extracurriculars; so far outweighs any advantage or slight that they perceive in "the process" (whatever one you are complaining about), that they should get over their momentary "victimization" complaint, and instead thank their lucky stars.[/quote] Children have an innate sense of fairness. Together with increasing awareness as they become adults, these "children" react to unfairness that many older adults have been conditioned to accept. We would do well to work toward fixing the inequity rather than conditioning our children to accept it. My children come from an ethic group that was discriminated against in the past, all four of their grandparents were from lower SES, it is manifestly unfair that organizations can legally discriminate against them. They are the victims of affirmative action. I hope they NEVER accept that injustice.[/quote] I am the previous poster. My parents are Latin American immigrants who came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their back. Catholic charities helped them find a hold in this country, and my mother did not attend college. I am not saying that African Americans or Latinos or (any other group) should accept pernicious discrimination, quite to the contrary, as I have experienced my fair share of it throughout life (including hurtful childhood comments about my immigration status). However, I am teaching my children not to look for "slights" in everything, because that negative pattern of perceived "victimization" will never make you happy. Dear son, just because you were not admitted at "X" applying from TJ, does not mean that your high-achieving classmates somehow "cost" you something that you rightfully "deserved". You know what? You were better positioned to be admitted to "Y" precisely because you did attend TJ, and your parents had just enough money to help you with tutors when you needed them, and test prep for the SAT, and we were there for all your football games and track meets. That "life" advantage is so much more than most children in this world could hope and dream for. And DD (I also have one of those), instead of complaining to me about how you were waitlisted at "Z" because boys have an easier time of it, rejoice that your background advantages helped you to earn your admission at "W". [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics