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Reply to "advice for a new step-mom"
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[quote=Anonymous]I might be a bit off base here, but she is visiting you, not living in your house. If it were me (and I'm the single parent with sole custody whose kids go on occasional "visits" to the other parent home and also the aunt whose nieces and nephews used to spend most of the summer with), I would approach it as trying to be sure she is a good houseguest, not that she is living there. So, while you aren't going to serve her junk food, taking her food likes and dislikes into account when preparing meals seems appropriate. Guests have a space (her room) that they must keep reasonably clean (no food, dirty dishes, etc.), and she should be expected to put things away in the rest of the house. Since it is an extended visit, you might want to think about giving her a drawer or shelf in the main area of your house to put her things in. You can't make someone sleep, but there can be a bedtime where kids go into their beds to either lay until they fall asleep or maybe quietly read books. Putting dishes in the dishwasher after meals should be expected, but it is nice to occasionally offer to take care of it for her. These are the sorts of things I try to impress on my kids before they go for visits. More than the discipline, I would be thinking about what you are planning on doing to keep her occupied. If she doesn't already have friends, her free time is something you're going to have to think about. It's great to have a lazy, unplanned summer, but not if you don't have anyone to play with. As to activities to bond, there are logs of fun day trips - the zoo, museums, the pool, etc. My youngest who is almost seven really likes crafts, especially if they involve jewelry making and we can do those sorts of things together. She also likes scrapbooking. You might want to think about making her a small photo album of her summer time together with your family that she can take home with her. I did that with each of my nieces and nephews each year and every couple of years, we pull them all out to look at them together now that they are older. They are more prized possessions than any thing I ever bought them. [/quote]
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