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Midlife Concerns and Eldercare
Reply to "Parent w/ Parkinsons, next steps..."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is so tough. There is no right decision. You have to do what is best for everyone, including you. My dad did not have Parkinson's, but ended up in needing full time care. His wishes were to receive care at his home. However, he was in VA and I was in MD. I made the decision to move him into assisted living closer to me. I had to make the hard decision to go against his wishes, but I could not manage round the clock care for him, without completely disrupting my life, work and family. Even with 24 hour care, I would have been the one who would need to take him to doctors, which seemed endless. And what would happen if the care providers didn't show up. I would be the one needing to take off. He did end up receiving hospice care, but that was not round the clock care, it was an hour here and there for specific things. You can only do what is best at the time for everyone. It may not be what they want or what you want, but it is what is best. There is no right way to do this. [/quote] Hugs. I went through something similar with my mom at the end of her life. We had the funds for a very nice facility which had levels of nursing. We paid for this for 2 months before mom passed, and she had hospice come in as well (they were pretty unhelpful to be honest - wouldn't stay with her on her last day so I could grab a shower, not particulary supportive to family members). If you choose the option of going to the ER and then getting a case manager - be 100% warned they will try to get you to do home care. This was even the case when I lived 4 hours away, and sibling 1 hour away, both with jobs and young families. YOU will have to do the leg work to find a facility, but once you do, the hospital will work with you to transport, etc. We were an Innova Fairfax. I felt judged, for sure, and my mom who was not in her right mind was ranting about going home, so this was enormously awful and stressful but we did get the support/services we needed at the nursing home facility, and the staff were kind. [/quote]
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