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Reply to "Tiger parent's mean comment about my daughter"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clearly, this family has different values than yours. The parents certainly aren't modeling decent behavior. You will meet a lot of people like that at your kids' schools. Just keep them at arms length, and subtly encourage your son to hang out with kids from nicer families. Confronting people rarely works. They aren't going to have an epiphany and become better people because of something you said.[/quote] I don't disagree with this, but there is nuance here because this is OP's "best friend's" family. So not just another family from school, and the relationship with the family sounds like it started with OP's close relationship with the mom, as opposed to the kids becoming friends. I still think OP needs to recognize that there may be value differences between the families, and especially with the dad/her BF's husband. It sounds like he might be there more intense parents, and also likely the less discrete one, as a more thoughtful person might have considered that the way these families are intertwined would make it more likely than not that his comments about OP's DD would get back to them. I'm betting this dad is like this all the time, actually. That he says competitive, comparative things frequently, has a tendency to say things when the family gathers that annoy OP, and just generally is not her cup of tea. I feel this way about one of my close friend's husbands, and like OP, our families have some kids who are same age and are friends. I know my friend's DH is very competitive about his kid as compared to mine, and sometimes this competition does slip out with him saying things that internally annoy me. We've even had conversations with our own kids to the extent of "we don't always approach things the same way as Larla's family and that's okay, you don't have to take everything Larla's dad says to heart." I am sure they've had similar conversations about our family, including potentially some critical things about our parenting approach or our kids. That's fine, I feel totally at peace with our choices and silently judge some of theirs, so this does not offend me. Confronting the dad about this would turn the whole thing into a big deal. Instead, just talk to your own kids, explain that you strongly disagree with whatever the other family is saying about your DD (and acknowledge you don't actually know what has been said because of the game of telephone here), but that you guys are going to do your thing and they can do their thing and it will all shake out in the end. Don't create conflict with a family that you are involved with on multiple levels just to put this guy in his place. It won't be worth it and the most likely scenario is that your friend will come to his defense and you friendship will be over or at least forever changed. [/quote]
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