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Midlife Concerns and Eldercare
Reply to "Parent w/ Parkinsons, next steps..."
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[quote=Anonymous] I've gotten good advice and kind words here, over the years I've posted occasionally regarding my Dad who has Parkinsons disease. So here we are, at a crossroads-Dad is 80 and in late stage of the disease. He lives at home, cared for primarily by my mom. I've posted about them before, in 2022 he fell on her while she was caring for him and she sustained a broken hip (and they lay on the floor all night). There has been MUCH resistance to the reality of the situation. I live nearby and see them daily, I do stuff around the house and help with some drs appts, but I also work full time, commute 2 hrs a day and am a single parent of a dc with sn. So I'm not able to full time caregive. Anyhow , they've mostly gotten along with help from me, my sibling when he can travel here and even my local adult kids. I also arranged for weekly bathing assistance from an aide and once a week a nurse because of some pressure sores he has. His decline has always been in spurts, but in the last few weeks-it's been noticable. He's sleeping a LOT. And he is very weak. A fall today, and pretty much weekly lately. My mom has a huge painful bone spur in her shoulder, imparing her ability to use her left arm. It was supposed to be replaced Friday-and I arranged FMLA for me and respite for him-but a pre op cat scan showed a nodule in her lung. Most likely scar tissue, but having a pet scan tomorrow to find out. Surgery was cancelled though until she is cleared (and it was nearly 2 months out the first time we scheduled it). I'm taking her to the scan and one of my adult dc is staying in the house with dad, because he can't be left alone , can't care for himself and falls. All this to say-we just can't keep him safe in this weakened condition. Mom wants to put him in a rehab facility temporarily so he could do PT and gain some strength. I agree with her, but I wonder how ...realistic...this is at this late stage. I mean...is hospice something we should be considering? My main goal is that he, and she, be safe. We desire as a family for that to be at home if possible, although at the moment, that is not the case. I was going to take him to the VA hospital tonight after he fell while I was at work (my adult dc were nearby and went and picked himup) but mom doesn't want to miss the pet scan appt (understandably) so dd and I got him into bed tonight (he's so weak, mom could not) and after the appt tomorrow, I need to do 'something' but not sure what. I'd appreciate insight from others who have been down this road.[/quote]
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