Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, and after seeing my middle class friend marry a man from a working class/poor background, I wouldn't. Causes so many problems for them. He's very cheap and thinks she's very extravagant.

My mom married "down," and they fought over things like whether it was worth it to send the kids to top private universities. My dad thought that our (mediocre) state university was just fine; my mom insisted that it was worth the tuition (all three children were accepted into top 20 universities). My mom won out. They are now divorced.

My friend works full time and wants housecleaning help. Her DH thinks he helps enough, so she doesn't need it. But in his poor family, "clean enough" is filthy, in reality, and they have enough money to spend $150 a month on a housecleaner. The DH just can't get over the poor as dirt, need to save every penny mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me OP like your families are both still middle class, albeit yours apparently has more money. but still, both middle class. remember, a back hoe driver probably makes more $$$ than you do. My aunt had a plumbing company and retired at 50 with millions in the bank. My mom's fiance is a former chicken farm inspector worth millions. You would never know, so don't always judge a book by it's cover - having a desk job isn't everything when it comes to money.

Class isn't just money. It's an intersection of education, money, personal wealth, and profession.

You can play with this calculator to see what I mean:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/national/20050515_CLASS_GRAPHIC/index_01.html

Duh. But if you work, they work, and what separates you only has 1 or 2 commas, then as far as I'm concerned, you are in the same socio-economic class.

No. There are different kinds of work that divide people by class. A plumber is in a different social class than a professor, although good plumbers will undoubtedly earn more than most faculty.

Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

They can make gazillions, but that doesn't mean they are in the same educational class as e.g. a surgeon or a college professor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me OP like your families are both still middle class, albeit yours apparently has more money. but still, both middle class. remember, a back hoe driver probably makes more $$$ than you do. My aunt had a plumbing company and retired at 50 with millions in the bank. My mom's fiance is a former chicken farm inspector worth millions. You would never know, so don't always judge a book by it's cover - having a desk job isn't everything when it comes to money.

Class isn't just money. It's an intersection of education, money, personal wealth, and profession.

You can play with this calculator to see what I mean:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/national/20050515_CLASS_GRAPHIC/index_01.html

Duh. But if you work, they work, and what separates you only has 1 or 2 commas, then as far as I'm concerned, you are in the same socio-economic class.

No. There are different kinds of work that divide people by class. A plumber is in a different social class than a professor, although good plumbers will undoubtedly earn more than most faculty.

Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

To repeat: It's not just about money. There are different factors associated with class. No one is denying that your relatives have a lot of money. But, it is true that education and profession are important markers of class.

[Anonymous]

What if you are highly educated from top schools and choose to be a pilot, carpenter, plumber, electrician, work in construction? Do tell, what class are they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you are highly educated from top schools and choose to be a pilot, carpenter, plumber, electrician, work in construction? Do tell, what class are they?

working class.
Not professional class.
There is nobility, the ones from a long line of priveledge who inherit titles and are highly educaed, and the professional class. The rest are wanna-be's. Who think money alone makes them better, but have no refined manners or customs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you are highly educated from top schools and choose to be a pilot, carpenter, plumber, electrician, work in construction? Do tell, what class are they?

Depends on if one does it for money or as a hobby. Piloting one's own plane = hobby; at mercy of American Airlines = work (though, I would put pilots in a different professional category than plumbers). Same is true for carpentry as a hobby.

I don't really know anyone who works as a plumber or as an electrician as a hobby, though. Rehabbing old homes, though, could be seem as a hobby.

[Anonymous]

10:17 - this is my MIL. Its batsh*t crazy. I can't get into the extremes she goes to, it should be embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me OP like your families are both still middle class, albeit yours apparently has more money. but still, both middle class. remember, a back hoe driver probably makes more $$$ than you do. My aunt had a plumbing company and retired at 50 with millions in the bank. My mom's fiance is a former chicken farm inspector worth millions. You would never know, so don't always judge a book by it's cover - having a desk job isn't everything when it comes to money.

Class isn't just money. It's an intersection of education, money, personal wealth, and profession.

You can play with this calculator to see what I mean:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/national/20050515_CLASS_GRAPHIC/index_01.html

Duh. But if you work, they work, and what separates you only has 1 or 2 commas, then as far as I'm concerned, you are in the same socio-economic class.

No. There are different kinds of work that divide people by class. A plumber is in a different social class than a professor, although good plumbers will undoubtedly earn more than most faculty.

Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

To repeat: It's not just about money. There are different factors associated with class. No one is denying that your relatives have a lot of money. But, it is true that education and profession are important markers of class.

Agree with pp. Socio-economic status, one way of measuring "class," is based on income, education, and occupational prestige. I don't think anyone should look down on anyone else for what they do. But the reality is that in our society, some professions are seen as more prestigious than others.

[Anonymous]

BTW, in reading the comments, I've noticed that some folks are using different definitions of class. There's class which has to do with socio-economic status and the general ranking of people in US society based on it. Then there's class of the Miss Manners type - whether someone is a jerk and an asshole, which has little to do with money.

[Anonymous]

I still don't understand what the OPs real problem is, other than class. Is it material things, cultural things, religious things, is it the in-laws, is it disagreement about child rearing, what is the actual problem? Or are you just ashamed of your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

You've also said that they owned a plumbing company. Owning a company is different than being a wage-employee in a blue collar field. I don't think it's that hard to understand that people would look at those two things differently.

[Anonymous]

well, whether people look at owning a plumbing company and being a plumber differently, is not really the issue

I would be devastated if my son decided to become a plumber. It worked out for someones uncle, does not make it a prestigious field. There are so many plumbers who do not make millions.
I would not even like it if my daughter dated a plumber

[Anonymous]

I would love it if my son was a plumber or electrician or anything useful. The "prestige" of being a paper pusher does not impress me. But if anyone has an argument on why it should, then feel free to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would love it if my son was a plumber or electrician or anything useful. The "prestige" of being a paper pusher does not impress me. But if anyone has an argument on why it should, then feel free to share.

It's likely tied to not having to work outdoors. So maybe you are farther along in human development having started from the existing outdoors. Kind of like how dark color skin was a sign of being poor because you worked outdoors. Then it became a sign of wealth among the privileged indoor, office workers because they made enough money to vacation outdoors. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me OP like your families are both still middle class, albeit yours apparently has more money. but still, both middle class. remember, a back hoe driver probably makes more $$$ than you do. My aunt had a plumbing company and retired at 50 with millions in the bank. My mom's fiance is a former chicken farm inspector worth millions. You would never know, so don't always judge a book by it's cover - having a desk job isn't everything when it comes to money.

Class isn't just money. It's an intersection of education, money, personal wealth, and profession.

You can play with this calculator to see what I mean:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/national/20050515_CLASS_GRAPHIC/index_01.html

Duh. But if you work, they work, and what separates you only has 1 or 2 commas, then as far as I'm concerned, you are in the same socio-economic class.

No. There are different kinds of work that divide people by class. A plumber is in a different social class than a professor, although good plumbers will undoubtedly earn more than most faculty.

Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

To repeat: It's not just about money. There are different factors associated with class. No one is denying that your relatives have a lot of money. But, it is true that education and profession are important markers of class.

Not in countries that have social classes - did you attend social studies in grade school? Do you think being an air force pilot makes Prince William of a higher class? Perhaps in England being knighted or being a barrister is considered bringing one into a higher class, barely, but otherwise, sorry, having a grad degree won't cut it. And quite frankly, your obvious obsession with thinking you are such higher class than others, and talking about it now, is a reflection of you being of an average station. Persons truly of a higher social class do not discuss those things. It goes without saying.