I'm sorry OP, I'd be irritated too. And I can tell you from experience that once resentment starts making its way into the marriage it's really hard to come back from. You start seeing your spouse in a different light, you start wondering what they bring to the table. I hope you're able to get him to step up because this is a slippery slope. |
I could never ever be married to this man. How do you respect him? Find him attractive? I just couldn't. And I know lots of dads who have the more flexible/lower stress job and do great as the primary parent. THAT is respectable and attractive. What your husband is doing is not. |
I think at a minimum you need to stop getting the kids ready for daycare over summer.
If he wakes up and gets the kids ready, you will take them. But no way in hell would I do kid duty while my lazy sleeps in and gets the day off. |
+1 |
OP is clearly a man, probably a Fed (they have cheap daycare & long waitlists) and his wife is the teacher. |
Seems very unlikely that a wife is going on two solo trips this summer without her kids. |
Really? One trip to see aging parents (or even her own grandmother) + another Girls Trip. In our social circles, it’s often the wives taking solo trips for leisure (since the dads travel solo for business). |
NP. Why are some here assuming the teacher spouse will be "sitting on [his/her] a$$"? We dont know that. Maybe spouse has plans, just not plans to do as OP insists. If OP asked the summer job question in the same tone as he/she wrote the initial post--whining to demand the spouse work--then OP ITA and needs to communicate with spouse like a partner, not a boss. |
The majority? So you know this, how? Show us the study saying this, based on a reputable source. We'll wait. Oh, this is just your jaundiced opinion! Hope you feel this way when your kid's school is understaffed because teachers are leaving due to unsupportive, demanding parents like you. -- Not a teacher but actually know some, which I doubt you do. |
If he won't work, he better be taking on household things to make your life easier. DH works 3 days a week. DS is in school so during his days off he does household chores and all that. Means a good percentage of our nights and weekends can be spent doing other things |
Teachers have 76 days off a year. The DH can work half of those and still have more vacation than every other professional. He needs to stop whining. 104 weekend days 185 school days |
My answer wouldn't change regardless of the gender of the spouses, but I'm curious if people wouldn't come down as hard on a female teacher wanting a break during the summer because of the internalized notion that she must be doing more for her own family during the school year. |
I thought so as well. I love how people are dumping on the husband when it’s clearly the wife/mom that is lounging by the pool all summer. |
Oh please. Every female teacher I know, and I know many, have the kids full time in the summer (at pool, swim team, camps, activities, visits to grandparents, etc.) |
Great. That changes exactly nothing of what i said. School is in session 10 months; summer break is 2 months. Annoying when ppl exaggerate. That’s it. Yeah, OP’s DH should get a summer job. I never said he shouldn’t. |