Made a birthday party mistake - please help with your advice!

[Anonymous]

My daughter is going to be 5 next week. We decided that since we have a small house and she's a bit shy, we would just invite her best friend from preschool over for a special activity next Sunday. We emailed her BFF friend's mom about the activity but didn't tell my daughter.

So today she said to me I want Sally (her BFF) to come over and play Tinker Bell. Then I did something dumb: I said to tell "Would you like Sally to come over next Sunday for a Tinker Bell party for your birthday?" She got so excited and said "I can't wait to tell Sally about the party tomorrow at school!"

I then tried to tell my daughter because we have a small house we can't invite more than just Sally and we don't want her other friend's feelings to get hurt so she shouldn't talk about it and she kind of got it. But then like 20 minutes later she said "I'll just whisper in Sally's ear about the party" and another 30 minutes she said "Mom, the secret is going to get out so we better start looking for a bigger house."

I'm so afraid my daughter is going to hurt other girl's feelings that I'm thinking I now need to invite them all. Plus I don't like her thinking keeping secrets is okay

Any advice?

Signed,
New at this preschool girl thing

[Anonymous]

How many girls are there in her preschool class OP?

[Anonymous]

she sounds like she wants a real party... with more than one friend. can you swing it? i would. but then again i'm one of "those moms" who likes to "spoil" my child with parties to remember.

[Anonymous]

OP here - 7 other girls in her class.

The reason I didn't want to do a party for her at our house is the 7 girls would be fine - tight but fine - it's their parents and siblings we really couldn't accomodate.

If we did try and do a party for all the girls, can is there a polite way to say "please just drop off the girls and keep your other kids home."? Personally I wouldn't be offended if I got an invitation like that but I'm not very good at judging reactions of other parents!

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think 5 is old enough for a drop off party, but every party I've been to here, the parents seem to stay (unlike where we lived before). I think you could address the invites only to the child and write a little note on the ones with siblings that say you are sorry you can't accomodate siblings because of space constraints. In my experience here, most people seem to ask whetehr siblings are included. I generally include them, but I think it's unnecessary. There is no reason why one parent can't take the child to the party and the other stay with the siblings (unless it's a single parent, but a single parent could drop off the child and pick up later).

[Anonymous]

absolutely tell the parents that due to your small house, it is drop off only. You can put that right on the evite/invite. we went to one recently and, I made plans to run errands while my son was at party.

Also, the general rule, is you can invite some kids from class but if you get to about 1/2, then you really need to invite the whole class.

Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

I LOVE drop off parties!!!!

I think the 1/2 the class rule is about right, but if it's all of the girls or all of the boys, that's probably fine (especially if it's a "girl" or "boy" themed party).

[Anonymous]

Budget depending, I think that is why many people do parties at Chuckie-Cheese, etc; and no clean up

FYI - In the future, if you do decide to go somewhere like Chuckie-Cheese, BYO cake (theirs is too small).

Also, if the school permits it, you can bring cupcakes to the class so everyone feels they somewhat participated in the celebration.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd invite all of the girls and say drop offs are encouraged. Tinkerbell is so popular now, I'm sure that they will be thrilled and it sounds like your DD is excited already! I'd include a line that due to space constraints siblings can't be included. Cupcakes at school are always nice too.

[Anonymous]

PP 1727 here: Are you really ready to offer a full drop-off party?? I think mom's doing the dropping off of course like the drop off parties. However, the receiving mom will definitely need something to relax her anxiety after the party. I'm not sure if I will never offer full drop-offs. I may only offer that to the few parents that say they can't make it, but still want their child to come. But then again, I guess trying to entertain all the adults will be just as stressful. I still vote for Chuckie-Cheese As long as you don't think about all the contamination in the climbing tubes. The tubes that the kids climb in, my husband and I call it the pee-tubes now because our 2.75 year old had an accident up there once (she was potty trained, but guess she was having so much fun she didn't want to leave).

[Anonymous]

PP - ewww. I hope you let the mgr know so other kids weren't playing in it. Yet another reason why I am not a big fan of Chuck E Cheese. It's loud, dirty, and the kids don't really get to hang out together and interact except for when you do the cake. Ugh. Place gives me a migraine. But...that's another thread.

I agree with some of the previous posters that 5 is okay for drop offs, assuming you're up for it. If it's just 7 girls, I'd go for it snd def include a note about not having space for siblings (although I would never assume my other kids were invited!). If these aren't parents you know well, just ask them to leave you a cell phone number in case of emergency (or meltdown) and also ask about allergies (my daughter has a classmate who is deathly allergic to nuts and leaves am EpiPen with us when she comes to play). You can keep the party really short (90 mins) and simple - invite them to come in their favorite fairy or princess attire, do a foam craft (door hangers or picture frames from Michaels; Party Express has a Tinkerbelle themed craft you can buy), play some kid-friendly music and let them dance around, play some simple party games (musical chairs, duck duck goose, etc.), maybe do a pull string pinata, have pizza and cake, and voila! you're done!

We did a T-bell party for my DD's 4th bday and the girls loved it. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

Tell her it's a special birthday 'Play date'

[Anonymous]

Who doesn't do drop-off parties at 5, especially if everyone lives close-by. And I never understand the siblings, thing. I would never bring a sibling to a party; the sibling wasn't invited.

[Anonymous]

I'm not the OP, but I would like to know a polite way to write "This is a drop off party" on the invitation.

[Anonymous]

Since it's a pretty small class I'd invite all the girls.

Some of them won't make it anyway, especially on fairly short notice.

Agree 5 is more than old enough for a drop off party.