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Preschool and Daycare Discussion
Heavy Christmas emphasis at non-religious pre-school, WWYD?
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Anonymous
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DD is at a preschool that is not affiliated with any religion, and yet there seems to be an emphasis on Christmas. She is learning songs such as-the 12 nights of Christmas, and reading Christmas related books at story time. Not to mention the teachers discussing Christmas trees with the kids (asking if they have them yet, how big they are, etc.). We are not christian nor do we celebrate Christmas. I am not looking for equal time for my religion, I would prefer the learning be non-religious.
I do not want to make waves with the school as I believe this is the way things have been done over the last x number of years, yet I really don't want DD learning about Christmas at school. So, what to do? It would be hard for her to selectively participate in activities and I do not want her to feel singled out in any way. I'm guessing that my only option may be to take her out of school for December--not that much time since 2 weeks of December the school is closed for winter recess. Has anyone else dealt with this situation? |
Anonymous
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If you don't want her learning about Christmas and don't want her singled out then take her out for December. Like it or not, Christmas (and I mean non-religious Christmas such as Christmas tree, Santa Claus, presents, etc.) are a part of our culture. And like it or not, she is going to learn about it at some point.
But if you really don't want her learning about Christmas you also might want to blindfold her and give her earplugs when you got anywhere during the month of December, especially if you go to any stores. Eventually she will ask questions. I say lighten up. |
Anonymous
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I think taking your daughter out of school acts as a punishment and increases hers and your sense of isolation. She is too young to understand why you would be doing this and might feel that she had done something wrong.
As a non-Christian, in my opinion there are certain aspects of Christmas that have to do with cultural literacy, and certain aspects that are just overblown nonsense. I think that singing the 12 days of Christmas is a cultural experience, is fun, enjoyable, and "tuneful." I sing it to myself and I'm Jewish. I vote for that activity, therefore. As for the Christmas books and discussion of trees, could it be that the various teachers are not coordinating or integrating the holiday curriculum well? Is it time for a brief, update, chat about how the holidays are being approached? Nothing glowery or grinchy, just an inquiry as to whether other book your child can be excused from the Christmas-y story times. Personally, I think it's unrealistic to expect the teachers and student to censor their chit-chat about Christmas trees. I know it gets to be too much, but what are they supposed to do? Tell the kids to be quiet? I realize you are not asking for equal time for a holiday, but in essense you are asking people to stop talking about what interests them, and talk about what interests your child. And that's not fair. |
Anonymous
Here we go again.... |
Anonymous
| When I was a child at a Catholic school in the 70s, in addition to Christmas carols, we learned Jewish songs for the holiday season. I loved it! |
Anonymous
| We purposely chose the preschool we chose because they don't do any Christmas stuff at all. I don't care about my kids being exposed elsewhere, but it was important to me that they not be exposed in preschool. I don't know what I would do in your situation other than to look for another school. |
Anonymous
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OP here: If you read my post, I said I do not want her learning about Christmas in school.
I am not trying to limit her exposure in general, and I have nothing against Christmas, but I think the school is a more authoritative figure in her life than the mall, or what the neighbors are doing, and my preference would be that there not be a Christmas theme or emphasis taught. We have discussed Santa and some other Christmas related things and we do appreciate this time of year--we will enjoy the holiday lights and we will attend a Christmas celebration at a family friend's home. I am not trying to shelter my child by any means. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. It sounds like this isn't the right preschool for your DD and family. |
Anonymous
| OP, if you're not willing to make any waves -- even to the extent of speaking with her teacher in a friendly manner -- then there is nothing you can do. But keeping your child out of school is drastic and may be more harmful than the exposure she's getting. |
Anonymous
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I agree, it's cultural, not religious from what you've said about the school. It's everywhere this time of year, eventhough other beliefs have their celebrations now.
It doesn't sound like their talking about Jesus, so I wouldn't have a problem with it. |
Anonymous
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I grew up Jewish in the Midwest and was basically the only Jewish child at my school. Of course they talked about Christmas and other Christian holidays all the time. My Jewish dad grew up saying the Our Father prayer every morning in his public school - he can still recite it.
I think this stuff is going to come up in any public school and most private schools regularly around here. I don't really love the teacher reading Christmas books, but asking about trees is going to happen anywhere. And if its not the teachers, its the kids talking about presents, decorations, Santa, Jesus, etc. So I would look for a new school that is very strict about not including holidays, or I would just deal with it and know that you are laying the moral and religious foundation for your child. Most schools would love for you to come in and share information about your holidays with the kids. |
Anonymous
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I would probably also take her out for the rest of December if you can swing it. I'd also find out what the emphasis is for Easter.
I am surprised that a secular preschool is emphasising Christmas so heavily, especially as it was just Thanksgiving! |
Anonymous
Honestly, OP, I understand if you think she's too young for the explanation of why you don't celebrate Christmas, etc, but in my experience it's going to be something that's even more omnipresent as you kids get older. I was taken aback at the amount of Christmas songs and activities in my kids' preschool but have found kindergarten and beyond to be even worse. Long story short, I think it's best to start dealing with it early, whatever this may mean to you. For me it was giving a 3 year old cliffs notes accounting of the different holidays, how they are different but both special, and so on and so forth. Best wishes. |
Anonymous
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OP, how old is your daughter? If it makes you feel better, if she is three or four, then honestly, she probably won't even remember the exposure from preschool once it is over. In our case, our son was at a Jewish preschool--we are not Jewish, but we really liked the school and had no problem with lots of Jewish emphasis. He then went to public school starting in PreK when he was nearly five, and truly, he remembered nothing about all the Jewish stuff from preschool, and he had been inundated with it for two years!
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Anonymous
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If I were you, I would schedule some time ASAP to talk to the Director of the school.
I would mention that the school was promoted as not affiliated with any religion and when you toured this message was reinforced. Now that you are in the beginning of December, you are aware that the program has a strong emphasis on Christmas and that you would like to discuss how this could be balanced. Figure out what is important to you and discuss how to make adjustments to the program for the next month. Personally, our school is all over the map with this - and it does drive me nuts. We are at a school that is part of a church but in lieu of a Thanksgiving event, which is non-religious cultural event, they have a Gratitude Gathering. But at the Winter Festival (named so that it is non-religious) they have Santa - hmmmm. |