What is attractive to ambitious men?

[Anonymous]

No drama, easy going, skinny, under 35, beautiful, preferably white or Asian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore everyone on this thread.

Ambitious men seek LOW DRAMA, easy going, and low maintenance women from desirable socioeconomic backgrounds.

Some people would consider these women formats, but women who fit the personality type don’t find it difficult to just go with the flow and function as supportive accessories who require little to no maintenance.

So ... just allow that objectification and smile sweetly while making that sandwich.

Lol. F$#& the patriarchy, and your little post too.

No, that is not what this poster is saying. Low drama and go with the flow are the key words. Supportive accessory may not be the right way to say it... how about supportive wife how does what is best for the family unit and goes with the flow of life. It is possible to do this without totally sacrificing your sense of self if you are secure in yourself to begin with. Maybe staying home with the baby instead of having two crazily demanding careers seems like the best decision... with the thought of going back to work once the kids are in school. That may work out, or life may take over with things that come up that cannot be predicted... for example... Covid pandemic and having to oversee kids in hybrid school, a special needs child, a turn of events in spouse's career where they had to work even longer hours, a sick family member... there are other ways to happiness and fulfillment besides having a job. Especially if you are financially secure either way (which I know is a big if, but for the purposes of this post, assume it's not an issue since the OP didn't raise it).

And for the record, making a sandwich with a smile on your face for your spouse who comes home from a long, hard day at work is really not asking all that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like attracts like most of the time, especially in DC.

The vast majority of married men I know who are ambitious and successful are married to women who are well educated and successful.

If you're a waitress with just a couple semesters of community college under your belt or just a GED, you're not gonna land some super successful man.

This is OP. I am Ivy educated and have a good career in communications. I am slim and love to workout and am obsessed with self improvement. I also love the arts; classic literature, theatre, museums, music hence why I get along with the cultured but the unambiguous men I’ve met.

Yes, I’d like to discuss Hemingway or Proust but I also like to have a 5 year plan, a 401k and goals and ambitions.

So you need to prioritize dating people who are ambitious and meet a few other criteria of yours - say, kind and family oriented. Maybe you’ll meet a successful lawyer, or maybe you’ll meet someone with a less conventional success path- developer, contractor, entrepreneur. But if you’re looking for someone who’s Ivy League educated, intellectual, in one of three established career paths (law, finance, MD) , and meets a thousand other criteria - handsome, tall, fit, funny, from a good family, etc etc your pool is going to shrink.

Figure out a few traits that are super important to you and prioritize those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No drama, easy going, skinny, under 35, beautiful, preferably white or Asian.

+ good education without debt and promising career

[Anonymous]

+ family with no criminal history

[Anonymous]

A college lecturer could be ambitious and so can be a state depart employee, ambition is not limited to law, medicine and finance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore everyone on this thread.

Ambitious men seek LOW DRAMA, easy going, and low maintenance women from desirable socioeconomic backgrounds.

Some people would consider these women formats, but women who fit the personality type don’t find it difficult to just go with the flow and function as supportive accessories who require little to no maintenance.

So ... just allow that objectification and smile sweetly while making that sandwich.

Lol. F$#& the patriarchy, and your little post too.

No, that is not what this poster is saying. Low drama and go with the flow are the key words. Supportive accessory may not be the right way to say it... how about supportive wife how does what is best for the family unit and goes with the flow of life. It is possible to do this without totally sacrificing your sense of self if you are secure in yourself to begin with. Maybe staying home with the baby instead of having two crazily demanding careers seems like the best decision... with the thought of going back to work once the kids are in school. That may work out, or life may take over with things that come up that cannot be predicted... for example... Covid pandemic and having to oversee kids in hybrid school, a special needs child, a turn of events in spouse's career where they had to work even longer hours, a sick family member... there are other ways to happiness and fulfillment besides having a job. Especially if you are financially secure either way (which I know is a big if, but for the purposes of this post, assume it's not an issue since the OP didn't raise it).

And for the record, making a sandwich with a smile on your face for your spouse who comes home from a long, hard day at work is really not asking all that much.

Yes - you are asking for too much. Most women are lower paid than men, and child support and alimony won't ever make up for years of lost income and pension savings.
Unless she comes from generational wealth or is already past age 45 and accumulated pension savings, what you described is not realistic for most women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A college lecturer could be ambitious and so can be a state depart employee, ambition is not limited to law, medicine and finance.

No really: contractors are extremely well paid. A good plumber, construction project manager, AC specialist, an auto dealership or a large food franchise owner would be making over half a million a year, and will own several multi-unit properties themselves. But OP wants Ivy Education, sophistication, right?

OP, you need to decide what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore everyone on this thread.

Ambitious men seek LOW DRAMA, easy going, and low maintenance women from desirable socioeconomic backgrounds.

Some people would consider these women formats, but women who fit the personality type don’t find it difficult to just go with the flow and function as supportive accessories who require little to no maintenance.

So ... just allow that objectification and smile sweetly while making that sandwich.

Lol. F$#& the patriarchy, and your little post too.

No, that is not what this poster is saying. Low drama and go with the flow are the key words. Supportive accessory may not be the right way to say it... how about supportive wife how does what is best for the family unit and goes with the flow of life. It is possible to do this without totally sacrificing your sense of self if you are secure in yourself to begin with. Maybe staying home with the baby instead of having two crazily demanding careers seems like the best decision... with the thought of going back to work once the kids are in school. That may work out, or life may take over with things that come up that cannot be predicted... for example... Covid pandemic and having to oversee kids in hybrid school, a special needs child, a turn of events in spouse's career where they had to work even longer hours, a sick family member... there are other ways to happiness and fulfillment besides having a job. Especially if you are financially secure either way (which I know is a big if, but for the purposes of this post, assume it's not an issue since the OP didn't raise it).

And for the record, making a sandwich with a smile on your face for your spouse who comes home from a long, hard day at work is really not asking all that much.

Yes - you are asking for too much. Most women are lower paid than men, and child support and alimony won't ever make up for years of lost income and pension savings.
Unless she comes from generational wealth or is already past age 45 and accumulated pension savings, what you described is not realistic for most women.

That is not really true before women get married. Men and women are not paid differently out of college and have the same general salary till their mid 30’s. Sure there are a few men and women who out preform and make a lot more but those are the exceptions not the rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore everyone on this thread.

Ambitious men seek LOW DRAMA, easy going, and low maintenance women from desirable socioeconomic backgrounds.

Some people would consider these women formats, but women who fit the personality type don’t find it difficult to just go with the flow and function as supportive accessories who require little to no maintenance.

So ... just allow that objectification and smile sweetly while making that sandwich.

Lol. F$#& the patriarchy, and your little post too.

No, that is not what this poster is saying. Low drama and go with the flow are the key words. Supportive accessory may not be the right way to say it... how about supportive wife how does what is best for the family unit and goes with the flow of life. It is possible to do this without totally sacrificing your sense of self if you are secure in yourself to begin with. Maybe staying home with the baby instead of having two crazily demanding careers seems like the best decision... with the thought of going back to work once the kids are in school. That may work out, or life may take over with things that come up that cannot be predicted... for example... Covid pandemic and having to oversee kids in hybrid school, a special needs child, a turn of events in spouse's career where they had to work even longer hours, a sick family member... there are other ways to happiness and fulfillment besides having a job. Especially if you are financially secure either way (which I know is a big if, but for the purposes of this post, assume it's not an issue since the OP didn't raise it).

And for the record, making a sandwich with a smile on your face for your spouse who comes home from a long, hard day at work is really not asking all that much.

It is what this poster “is saying.” They literally used the word accessory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore everyone on this thread.

Ambitious men seek LOW DRAMA, easy going, and low maintenance women from desirable socioeconomic backgrounds.

Some people would consider these women formats, but women who fit the personality type don’t find it difficult to just go with the flow and function as supportive accessories who require little to no maintenance.

So ... just allow that objectification and smile sweetly while making that sandwich.

Lol. F$#& the patriarchy, and your little post too.

No, that is not what this poster is saying. Low drama and go with the flow are the key words. Supportive accessory may not be the right way to say it... how about supportive wife how does what is best for the family unit and goes with the flow of life. It is possible to do this without totally sacrificing your sense of self if you are secure in yourself to begin with. Maybe staying home with the baby instead of having two crazily demanding careers seems like the best decision... with the thought of going back to work once the kids are in school. That may work out, or life may take over with things that come up that cannot be predicted... for example... Covid pandemic and having to oversee kids in hybrid school, a special needs child, a turn of events in spouse's career where they had to work even longer hours, a sick family member... there are other ways to happiness and fulfillment besides having a job. Especially if you are financially secure either way (which I know is a big if, but for the purposes of this post, assume it's not an issue since the OP didn't raise it).

And for the record, making a sandwich with a smile on your face for your spouse who comes home from a long, hard day at work is really not asking all that much.

Yes - you are asking for too much. Most women are lower paid than men, and child support and alimony won't ever make up for years of lost income and pension savings.
Unless she comes from generational wealth or is already past age 45 and accumulated pension savings, what you described is not realistic for most women.

That is not really true before women get married. Men and women are not paid differently out of college and have the same general salary till their mid 30’s. Sure there are a few men and women who out preform and make a lot more but those are the exceptions not the rule.

This is just statistics in the US, plus the guy expects her to put aside already very valuable crucial years of her career, to be what? His no drama accessory. No thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like attracts like most of the time, especially in DC.

The vast majority of married men I know who are ambitious and successful are married to women who are well educated and successful.

If you're a waitress with just a couple semesters of community college under your belt or just a GED, you're not gonna land some super successful man.

This is OP. I am Ivy educated and have a good career in communications. I am slim and love to workout and am obsessed with self improvement. I also love the arts; classic literature, theatre, museums, music hence why I get along with the cultured but the unambiguous men I’ve met.

Yes, I’d like to discuss Hemingway or Proust but I also like to have a 5 year plan, a 401k and goals and ambitions.

Hmm -- something is missing from your self description if you are saying the truth.

1. age?

2. family ses?

3. race?

4. region that you live at present and region that you grew up in?

DCUM can help you better if you provide more detail

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A college lecturer could be ambitious and so can be a state depart employee, ambition is not limited to law, medicine and finance.

I spend too much time here. All I can think of is the poster upset her husband's hobby job (college lecturer).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A college lecturer could be ambitious and so can be a state depart employee, ambition is not limited to law, medicine and finance.

How so?

Provide some examples and names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like attracts like most of the time, especially in DC.

The vast majority of married men I know who are ambitious and successful are married to women who are well educated and successful.

If you're a waitress with just a couple semesters of community college under your belt or just a GED, you're not gonna land some super successful man.

This is OP. I am Ivy educated and have a good career in communications. I am slim and love to workout and am obsessed with self improvement. I also love the arts; classic literature, theatre, museums, music hence why I get along with the cultured but the unambiguous men I’ve met.

Yes, I’d like to discuss Hemingway or Proust but I also like to have a 5 year plan, a 401k and goals and ambitions.

Have you read Proust? Not many people have. The only (three) people I know who have were professors. They were definitely ambitious people, because academia is cutthroat. I think you mean a rich man?

Right, there are ambitious people earning modest salaries in academia, startups, non-profits, the arts, etc, but also non-too-ambitious people earning well, like in tech (based on my experience).

She reminds me of a comms person I worked with... a nice person but definitely into status and married a wealthy banker.

Ambitious people in academia?

Very different and different risk tolerances than ambitious people in the private sector.

Writing a book over 2+ years is totally different than managing an P&L, team of new hires, and product dev and launches. not even close in terms of risk & rewards. Even if a PhD fellow at a think tank.

Agree.

Be try different colors of ambition between a college lecturer and company founder. Lifestyle companies don’t count. No one invests in that.