The OP is critical of her nephew's school choice and major and is annoyed that her BIL is proud of him. Maybe that's the best her nephew could do, and she knows it's not an academic powerhouse, so what's her point. It's like she's done the research and has now decided that water is wet. She then comes to DCUM of all places and asks if parents generally just don't GAF about ROI. DCUM, home of elite helicopter parents with elite kids at elite schools. This isn't an appropriate demographic to ask. As someone mentioned up thread, there are 4000 colleges in the US. How many of them do you think are hurdling OP's bar for rigor? Fwiw, not every parent is equipped to appropriately assess whether a curriculum/major is a joke or will actually require them to learn some skills, and plenty of people at LACs would say that college should be more than a pre-professional experience. |
It's a big issue and concern. College cost is $$$$, and there are ton of colleges anyone can pretty much walk in and major in useless stuff, then they ask for student loan callenation. |
No but he's rolling his eyes at OP too! |
Ok troll.....cancellation btw |
People are free to spend their own money and time how they want, but I MOST DEFINITELY want to maximize my money, and my children's time and effort! It's a no-brainer, if the kid has specific majors and concentrations in mind, to compare offerings at different institutions. It's how my kid was able to differentiate between two very good options. He went to lectures, he talked with program directors, AND we both looked at the course offerings and discussed them. Some of us are perfectionist and nerdy that way. If that's not your personality, it's also fine. It takes all kinds, people. (Now OP doing this for her nephew and not her own kid.... that introduces a wrinkle in the discussion, but I'm not going to judge another family's dynamics.) |
How else do you choose a school??? |
Yes, but do you review your spouse's job performance goals and to make sure they are correct for their goals? |
I'm just shocked by the whole thread. Your child is an adult when they go to college. By that time, they should have realized that college is a stepping stone to a job, and that they should be maximizing opportunities, etc.? They should already have an idea of what schools are good and what schools won't get them there? This sounds like you are sending kids out into the world without any basic life skills. |
We are both in IT field and she ask for my opinions once in a while. I can certainly contribute to my 17 yo kid making big decisions scush as buying a car, job applications, choosing a college, etc. |
but you pay for all your kids stuff? so much for independent with life skills. |
No one is saying don't spend your money wisely if that's your priority, but OP is "worried" about her nephew after being triggered by his proud father who seems to not be worried about the money they're spending. |
Wow! A college prof who doesn't read before writing a lengthy response that has ZERO to do with the questions posed?!?!
And this person: "Did you not look into the college before they applied or accepted, and whether they have a good reputation in that field?" I asked about what parents do AT THE POINT WHEN KIDS ARE DECIDING WHICH SCHOOL TO ATTEND, not what happens during sophomore year. |
I didn’t read this whole bonkers thread because I don’t completely hate myself, but I get the feeling that OP’s nephew is a recruited athlete and OP is seething with jealousy that all of the money she dished out for private coaching over the years didn’t pay off in that regard for her own kid. |
Of course we did this with our son when choosing the final school to attend. He had spoken to people in his field of interest and they had specific recommendation about what to look for in course options. There was a surprising range among the final schools on the list. We weren't about to spend a small fortune and not know that we were buying the right product. |
Parenting doesn't end at 12th grade. We know more than they do; we have more experience. They still need and value our advice. I still get advice from my own parents, whose opinion I value. |