I'm sure I'll get flamed, but $400k HHI is not that much for the DMV. I live in one of the more modest neighborhoods in Bethesda, and the average HHI in this zip code is $325k. The cheapest new houses around here start at about $2.8mm. The cheapest crappy old houses that needs lots of work start around $1.3mm. On $325k or even $400k, that's tough. And when both parents have to work long hours to make that much, it quickly becomes very stressful.
Farming stuff out is a practical yet deeply dissatisfying solution. |
WTF talks like this? You’re claiming your married PhD economist husband working at a multilateral bank or Fed job, and who has a couple kids, thinks like this?!? Bizarre. Trollishly bizarre Op. r u even married? |
Newsflash, you don't need a 1.3 million dollar house and if you have one, then stop screaming poverty. You can buy a $600K house in Silver Spring, Wheaton or Upcountry just fine. You choose an expensive lifestyle so stop complaining. |
This. DH and I are a team, and a damn good one at that. |
DH’s travel is the killer. We have 2 kids with an age gap. The older one sometimes has sports late in the evenings when the younger one should be sleeping. They both push back on having a nanny put them to bed or take them to all their activities. It’s also hard to manage getting them both out the door in the mornings and myself to work. I wish we could get off the hamster wheel, but DH wants a bigger life than we can afford on just his income. I’m tired and have no time for myself. |
NP here. OP, I think one of the issues that the PPs have not picked up on is that your drive may have decreased, either generally or just regarding your husband. Either way, there seems to be a discrepancy there between the two of you. |
Yes, OP can do this. But you can imagine why someone earning 400k feels not wealthy if they have to live in a 600k in Wheaton to be able to pay the bills. |
This is OP. Yes my brilliant husband who’s always serious in front of colleagues playing authority just wants sex with me whenever he has time. That’s not too often ( maybe once a week), but it’s always inconvenient for me because I’m so stressed and tired! I can’t keep up with his sexual desires in this life! It only adds to my stress level… |
Not everyone gets to live in Bethesda. |
I agree $400k is not much for this area. We make $600k, have 2 kids and feel decidedly middle class. |
Not the first PP, but this is not bizarre at all. I have the same problem with my husband. He’s trying not to be such a chauvinist but it takes effort. The end of the Barbie movie is also about this uniquely American cultural expectation. Are you feeling called out, PP? |
This sounds very normal. You are describing my spouse too, except he expects a bit more. I think this is just marriage when your spouse likes you. |
If you think your husband wanting sex once a week means he wants you to be his “sexy available girlfriend” you have totally lost the plot. And if you don’t have energy for sex once a week you have really totally lost the plot. How do women think like this? Like 20 minutes of physical activity with your husband is too “stressful” for you? I can’t even. -woman |
So she doesn’t do any travel sports? 12 is when life started getting super busy with our kid, but she plays sports. |
If her spouse liked her he would listen to her needs and help out more around the house. |