I don’t want to swim, thanks!

[Anonymous]

My ILs have a pool in their subdivision. They make a huge deal about everyone swimming in the pool. My husband always makes a huge deal about ME swimming in the pool. The pool is great for DH, great for the kids. It’s far too chlorinated and cold for my enjoyment. I love to sit and chit chat with ILs ( who don’t swim in the pool they demand everyone else swim in) and watch the kids swim. I just don’t wish to swim myself.

But DH and his parents are incessant about my swimming in the pool! If I don’t pack my suit, DH gets upset. If I pack it and don’t swim, everyone is constantly yelling at me to “get in, the water’s great” “you’ll feel better in the water” “just come in!”

I’m tired of repeating no. I’m tired of having to change into a bathing suit. I’m tired of the argument if forget my suit. I’m tired of the pestering.

How can I shut them down for good?

[Anonymous]

That's annoying. They should just respect your wishes. I would try smiling and saying "no thank you" each time they insist. After an afternoon of it, they might get the point.

[Anonymous]

I’m not big on swimming either. Sometimes I put my feet in, but mostly I prefer to lounge or read. Yes I have the same nagging issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs have a pool in their subdivision. They make a huge deal about everyone swimming in the pool. My husband always makes a huge deal about ME swimming in the pool. The pool is great for DH, great for the kids. It’s far too chlorinated and cold for my enjoyment. I love to sit and chit chat with ILs ( who don’t swim in the pool they demand everyone else swim in) and watch the kids swim. I just don’t wish to swim myself.

But DH and his parents are incessant about my swimming in the pool! If I don’t pack my suit, DH gets upset. If I pack it and don’t swim, everyone is constantly yelling at me to “get in, the water’s great” “you’ll feel better in the water” “just come in!”

I’m tired of repeating no. I’m tired of having to change into a bathing suit. I’m tired of the argument if forget my suit. I’m tired of the pestering.

How can I shut them down for good?

Point out that they aren't swimming either.

[Anonymous]

I hate the pool. I say no thank you nicely and then a sturn, “I said no thank you,” If asked again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not big on swimming either. Sometimes I put my feet in, but mostly I prefer to lounge or read. Yes I have the same nagging issues.

This is me.

They don't nag me any more.

I just smile pleasantly and say no thanks.

I do go in on vacations though.

[Anonymous]

Have you talked to your DH, away from his parents and the pool? My DH would do something like that thinking he was being funny but would stop if I told him explicitly that it was annoying and hurtful.

[Anonymous]

I say no thank you the first time to something like this, then with subsequent pressure, I kind of squint like I don't really understand, then blandly smile and very slowly say, "Oh, I said no thank you."

[Anonymous]

My mom was like you. She’d gasp, look at you like you’ve grown a second head, and say “it’ll ruin my hair!”

[Anonymous]

Ugh. That would drive me crazy. I love going to the pool, but I hate swimming. Why is that so hard for people to understand? And why is it so hard for intelligent adults to understand that you are fully capable of deciding what’s most enjoyable for yourself. Do they think that you’ve never been in a pool before and that, if it weren’t for their insistence, you’d never understand the glory of going into a pool?

[Anonymous]

Ask your husband why they do this. Maybe you look really hot? I love to swim but would never try to push other people into getting into the pool. It is weird that they keep doing this. Are the kids wanting you to swim?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say no thank you the first time to something like this, then with subsequent pressure, I kind of squint like I don't really understand, then blandly smile and very slowly say, "Oh, I said no thank you."

I'd go one step further after this and say to them "I don't like to go swimming. I'm never going to get in the pool. Please stop, otherwise I'm not going to want to come over here anymore."

It sounds funny to say this about adults, but they're peer pressuring you. I don't drink alcohol, and so I don't go to bars. You don't swim, but you're going to the pool. I find other ways to socialize. You find other ways to socialize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the pool. I say no thank you nicely and then a sturn, “I said no thank you,” If asked again

This is what I do when people are irritating me about something. I don’t drink and have a fairly limited palate, and some people just won’t let it go. I repeat “no thank you” without elaborating until I get too annoyed, then I go stern with “I said no thank you”.

[Anonymous]

Before the next pool outing tell your DH "Honey, I've been trying to be discrete but I'm having a lot of unexpected spotting and bleeding in between my periods. The doctor says I'm fine, but there is just no way to predict it. I'd really rather not put on a bathing suit at your parents' pool."

He is being a weird baby man, so he deserves the lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the pool. I say no thank you nicely and then a sturn, “I said no thank you,” If asked again

This is what I do when people are irritating me about something. I don’t drink and have a fairly limited palate, and some people just won’t let it go. I repeat “no thank you” without elaborating until I get too annoyed, then I go stern with “I said no thank you”.

I said Good DAY, Sir. GOOD. DAY.