Out of control vacation expectations - (new to) Bethesda teens
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Anonymous
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Just moved from Chicago to Bethesda this year for jobs. It was a good professional step for both of us and we decided that this was the last time we'd consider a move until kids were out of high school -- kids started 7th and 8th when we moved; we want them to be part of the middle school community/make some friends for at least 1-2 yrs so they aren't completely the "new kids" in high school. So far so good.
So the one thing that is striking me and DH bc we hear it from our kids all the time -- it seems like nearly EVERY family of the kids they are friends with goes away on a vacation nearly EVERY time there is a break. I'm talking Hawaii over Christmas; and then just 2 weeks later skiing over MLK; then skiing again over Presidents Day; now kids are talking about spring break plans for next month; and after that I'm sure it'll be a beach long weekend over Memorial Day and then multiple week summer vacations. Is this a DC thing? Bethesda thing? We lived in a very well to do suburb in Chicago as well and it was nothing like this. And now our kids are starting to "expect" it -- like they'll ask -- what are we doing for Presidents Day/Memorial Day -- and if the response is, oh it'll be nice to have 3 days off, maybe we can see if such-and-such museum is open, we get a "we never do anything" kind of response bc clearly they want to hear-- let's fly off to Fl. or NYC for 3 days, I'll book the hotels/flights tomorrow. DH and I didn't grow up with money. So when we started making money, we were both adamant that we'd take a vacation every year. So to us, 1 week away domestically is a BIG deal (and I'm talking -- a week in LA doing touristy things staying in a nice but not uber luxury hotel; and the following year checking out Seattle and Portland). And now we're in a place where our own kids scoff at that because they have begun to think that the true vacations are Hawaii, Europe, 5 star hotels with lots of shopping in Manhattan. Is this just the friends they're hanging out with? Or is this kind of common all over Bethesda? And FWIW - I like their friends and friends' parents, and I don't think they act braggy about these things; if anything, it's very matter of fact like if my kid asks to hang out over Presidents day, they'll say "sorry -- I'll be in Vail that weekend, how about next weekend." From what I can tell, these kids have had this kind of schedule since they were babies, so now 13 years later, it's NBD to them. |
Anonymous
| It is the area, OP. McLean, Bethesda, those kind of places are filled with these types of families. Sorry, it is hard for us, too. |
Anonymous
| Yes, some families in this area travel a lot. We do because we enjoy it. But it’s not just a Bethesda thing. DC is in college in the Midwest with lots of Chicago kids and they seem to travel just as much plus many have summer houses on Lake Michigan (in Michigan, not IL). There are also plenty of people in this area who don’t travel. |
Anonymous
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OP I hear ya. There are people who go away a lot and there are people whose lives revolve around it - I guess to compensate for living here? I don't know.
We do not go away every vacation, sometimes we do not go away at all during Summer vacation (we are from Europe). So there are others like you out there... |
Anonymous
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We live in central Georgia now, but we still do this kind of thing, too.
First, our families don't live near us, so some of those trips include visiting grandparents, cousins, etc.. Second, a ski trip that's a day's drive away isn't a big deal. If you've decided against private school, a $500 weekend (hotel, lift tix) 3x a year isn't much. I assume by now they own their ski gear ... Also, DC is on a coast, so ditto about a weekend/week at the beach, or a trip to NYC or Boston. Things are close by, and really not that expensive. Now, there will be people who do Hawaii/Aspen/Paris/Bahamas, some of them with their own boats and vacation homes. But that is not the norm, even in Bethesda. Also, take all of this with a grain of salt. Your kids know a lot of other kids. While it may seem like they are all doing this, some are doing it each time, not every time. |
Anonymous
| Have you come across the families that charter private jets yet? Or fly first class five times per year? Try explaining that to a young teen. OP, many of these families live in the old houses, and bought for relatively nothing (compared to the last ten years or so), so their two paycheck household spends a great sum on travel. It is the same crowd that can or does afford private school, with more than a little help from the grandparents. |
Anonymous
+1 Nailed it. |
Anonymous
| Over the summer is the worst when their friends are gone for 4 weeks in Europe. Going to the beach for a week just doesn't compare. |
Anonymous
500 for lift tickets and hotel for a family of 4??? How? |
Anonymous
OP here -- definitely familiar with the lake house culture of the Midwest/upper Midwest and IDK that seemed different to me. Probably bc you are going to the same house (which is yours) time after time and most often you are driving. To me that seems like less of a hassle and expense that packing and flying off to Vail for 3 days only to pack and deal with airline delays again on the way back. Sure DH and I like travel, but IDK something about these "must go away because we have 2 extra days off" trips seems hectic esp. when work doesn't consider the "minor" days off like Presidents day or MLK as true, untouchable vacation times like Christmas. Sure DH and I have those days off but it isn't unheard of for either of us to have to jump on a 2 hr conference call and then log on for 2 hrs after that to get some work product out the door. I guess we could do that from hotels while the kids had fun but IDK seems stressful. |
Anonymous
| OK you think an week long vacation that is NOT international is a BIG deal? That's weird. |
Anonymous
Yep. Moved here from NYC where we lived in the Westchester suburbs of NYC dripping with investment banking/hedge fund money and don't get me wrong, families certainly took nice vacations but there wasn't the same desperation to GET OUT every time there was 2 days off school. IDK what it is. It's pretty easy living here, and yet people act like it's some kind of prison sentence so if they get a free day, they MUST GO. I have a friend in Bethesda who is like this -- biglaw partner with a SAHD. It seems like now having done this for years, they literally pick random places off a map just to go and get out. I'm talking rural towns in Arizona and the like. It's odd . . . . |
Anonymous
| Op a week in Seattle costs just as much as a week in France or the south of Spain. You're essentially spending just as much but the trips aren't as exciting to your kids. From high school onwards my family asked us where we wanted to go and we researched places as teens. |
Anonymous
That’s because there’s nothing remotely interesting or beautiful within a five hour drive from where you live besides Savannah. Of course you travel. |
Anonymous
NP - I know it's shocking but some of us grew up in families where we may have vacationed together 2 times in the 18 years at home and 1 of those was like a driving vacation to the outer banks. So yeah to us -- when you are making $$ and can take a flying vacation EVERY SINGLE YEAR no matter what, that is a BIG deal. Sorry we didn't all grow up like you. |