Catholic Church Cry Room- Etiquette

[Anonymous]

We recently moved to a new parish that hs a cry room and I do not fully understand it. Our old one had everyone in mass together and I don't really know how it works.

I feel awkward about not knowing what to do, so I haven't been going. I have two kids, a 5 yr old kindergartener and an 18 month old. If I was alone with the 18 mo, I would use the cry room. My understanding is that I would not if alone with the 5 year old, correct? If my husband and I are there together, should we be splitting up? Or taking the whole family into the Cry room?

Am I supposed to bring snacks or something for kids? Or activities? Or do we just participate in mass as normal?

[Anonymous]

You do not have to split the family up if you are going with your youngest. You can all go in there and sit as a family.

Just pay attention and participate in the Mass as you normally do. The only thing that is different in there is: if your kid makes noise, the rest of the congregation cannot hear it, and the other cry room participants should not mind b/c they're in there too with little kids also.

[Anonymous]

Which Catholic Church here has a cry room? I've been to the three churches closest to me and none do!

[Anonymous]

I dislike cry rooms, but I think you should only go when you need to nurse (and don't feel comfortable nursing in your regular pew) or when your baby starts crying. I wouldn't go to the cry room just because your baby is 18 months old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which Catholic Church here has a cry room? I've been to the three churches closest to me and none do!

St. Elizabeth's (Rockville) has a big one. I think that St. Jane de Chantal might have one, too. I personally find cry rooms to be too noisy and too much fun for the kids. They are great for extremely wiggly toddlers and noisy babies. If your baby is not crying, you'll probably be able to concentrate better in the regular pews. If your 5 year old can sit quietly with an age-appropriate church book, he'll be fine in the regular pews, too. My daughter really enjoyed coloring books at that age, so I bought a whole bunch of religious coloring books for her just to bring to mass. (I think they sell them at the Shrine, but Amazon is great for this, too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which Catholic Church here has a cry room? I've been to the three churches closest to me and none do!

They all do in Virginia.

[Anonymous]

I never used a cry room, unless my baby/child was crying, needed to nurse, or was being disruptive. Screw that. A well, behaved quiet child is fine sitting with the rest of the congregation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never used a cry room, unless my baby/child was crying, needed to nurse, or was being disruptive. Screw that. A well, behaved quiet child is fine sitting with the rest of the congregation.

OP here- I am just not sure about this though. I mean an 18 month old will make a little noise, well behaved or not. And I feel (maybe mistakenly?) like if a cry room exists at the church, then I am supposed to be using it and people judge when I'm not. Is this right?

With my 5 year old, I can control her better and get her to stay quiet, so that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

I only use the cry room because I have twin toddlers...honestly, I just take them to the playroom and listen to mass. There is no ettiquette as far as I can tell. I think basic studf like dont let your children hit other kids.

[Anonymous]

Only go as needed. A few times I went, full-on adult conversations were going on. Awful. Not used at all as intended.

I've taken my DCs alone since infancy. Sat on aisle. If anyone really acted up, out we went but NOT to cry room. If we made it through Mass, we'd have or do something special afterward -- something small eg, park or church donut sale. Otherwise, just went home -- or spent an hour w/o playing with toys watching church Tv. For us, it worked like a charm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently moved to a new parish that hs a cry room and I do not fully understand it. Our old one had everyone in mass together and I don't really know how it works.

I feel awkward about not knowing what to do, so I haven't been going. I have two kids, a 5 yr old kindergartener and an 18 month old. If I was alone with the 18 mo, I would use the cry room. My understanding is that I would not if alone with the 5 year old, correct? If my husband and I are there together, should we be splitting up? Or taking the whole family into the Cry room?

Am I supposed to bring snacks or something for kids? Or activities? Or do we just participate in mass as normal?

You've been missing mass and this committing a mortal sin because you feel awkward about a cry room?

[Anonymous]

I love the cry room. My kid behaves better there, because she can look around and watch other and be mesmerized by them and their behavior. Then I can concentrate more on Mass (I sit right in the front of the cry room, so I see out into the congregation and my kid looks behind me at everyone else.). Whereas, in the regular congregation, she gets bored much more quickly and then I get less out of it and I am in a panic that she may be distracting someone else.

This is at St. Joe's in Herndon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the cry room. My kid behaves better there, because she can look around and watch other and be mesmerized by them and their behavior. Then I can concentrate more on Mass (I sit right in the front of the cry room, so I see out into the congregation and my kid looks behind me at everyone else.). Whereas, in the regular congregation, she gets bored much more quickly and then I get less out of it and I am in a panic that she may be distracting someone else.

This is at St. Joe's in Herndon.

Ugh. St. Joe's cry room is the worst. Never had a good experience in there, and it's not always just a parent with a little one there. Good news is the church is very kid-friendly.

[Anonymous]

From previous experience: Cry room in our old church had speakers and was behind a glass so you could participate in in mass. I would bring snacks / books for the younger kids, but older can participate. We would go into the room as a whole family.

When we moved into the area, none of the churches in our area had cry rooms as the churches wanted kids to be part of the mass.

[Anonymous]

Do whatever you're comfortable with. I personally have two rules that I wish people would follow in the dry rooms:
1) adult talking should be minimal--I once sat through a mass where two moms spent almost the entire mass talking about where they get their hair done and where their kids would be going to preschool. Little niceties like "isn't she cute" or "that's fine for her to use larlo's toy--don't worry about it" are fine.
2) be reasonable about the toys you bring. Some families allow their kids to bring an entire backpack of toys, which is just too much for a little room. I also wish people would avoid loud or violent toys--it's really hard to get anything out of mass when a couple little boys are waging some epic battle between the power rangers and megazorg. And it's really hard to tell your little boy he can't join in that battle once it's underway.